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Showing posts from May, 2015


Today I was thinking about how much I love music, songs in particular and how, when I find just the right song for just the right moment, it can literally send that particular moment right over the top and into perfection.   Some people never actually listen to or comprehend the lyrics that an artist is trying to convey.  Sure you learn a song and you can sing it, but do you ever really look at and/or listen to the lyrics as they were written?  The meaning behind them.  All songs, well most of them I should say, are written because the artist wants to convey something...sometimes about a past or current love, sometimes about family, sometimes about love in general, sometimes about pain and sorrow and sometimes about silly and frivolous things.  To me, it is poetry.  I love the written word and besides books and blogs, I love to write poetry.  I have done it for so many years and have an entire collection of poems I have written. A few of those poems were published


Ever ask yourself if your life is dull?   I mean do you ever wonder why extraordinary things seem to happen to other people all the time but they just don’t happen to you on a more frequent basis. So did I once upon a time, until one day I realized that, in the words of an interview I saw with Stevie Nicks, “ There are two types of people in the world, realists and dreamers…I’m a dreamer.”   So I was like, “Yeah, I dream too,” but she meant that whatever it was she wanted out of life, she made the decision, damn the consequences, to live her dreams, hence the stardom and fame from her music and song-writing career.   I have noticed in my life, especially recently, that when I set my mind to getting something I want and I don’t care what the consequences are or fear how I will make something else happen while waiting for the results of my fantasy to happen, they usually happen and everything takes care of itself in the meantime.   It is SO amazing.   I wish I could help peopl


I guess I was born this way, having little to no verbal communication skills and timid as a rabbit when it comes to confrontation, but I was given an artistic gift in place of both, the desire to write.   I often wonder why it is that I am so compelled to write everything down as well as every feeling about every situation, but I know it is my only release, especially at this point in my life where I have left myself no other avenue. I recall fondly the days when my son was first born and the people I had in my life that I could count on for instant relief via conversation and/or a glass of wine to boot.   I had friends that I could call any time of the day or night and who would not hold my neediness against me, despite my fear of that very fact.   That is what I desire more than anything else in life right now…someone in my life who knows me well enough, loves me deep enough and understands completely that I just need to talk on a regular basis and who cares enough t


I spent a beautiful day driving and hiking down the gorgeous Oregon and California coastlines with my boys.  How grateful I am for times like these.  Thompson Creek Bridge is 300 ft., tallest bridge in Oregon Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.


Do you ever feel like you want to be free?  I mean really feel it to the very depths of your soul?  The answer is simple...much more so than you would imagine.  All you have to do is love...that's it.  Love with all you've got, love with all you are. Love the life you were given so much that you seize every opportunity to love and be loved, regardless of fears and inhibitions.   Do yourself a favor and don't saddle yourself with guilt or regret for fulfilling your dreams, your wants, your desires and your fantasies.  It's part of life...the best part.  Life is based on love and love is freedom, so love yourself enough to give yourself the gift of freedom.  Throw all fear and inhibitions in the trash can where they belong and live... just love. Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post you


When my son was about four years old, we had some neighbors over to dye Easter eggs and had this little party and everything. He was always such a smart and astute student of life that he picked up on everything the adults would talk about, including my little sayings. Our neighbor Dawn and her husband were around the table and we were all dying eggs and my son was running around behind each of us listening to us talk and looking at the eggs. The exact conversation we were having is one I cannot remember but I do recall saying to Dawn, “You just have to be patient,” to which my son replied, “Yeah, Dawn, patience is a virgin.” Everyone in the room lost it and since then it has always been a running joke. My son is 21 now and we still throw that up at him, poor guy. He is a good sport and laughs about it though. Patience is one of those words that so many people in my life have told me I needed, and yet it is one of those difficult concepts for me, as well as a lot of other pe


Have you ever heard the term, “split-apart?” Some use “soul-mate” as the same reference but I love the term “split-apart” as it comes from the original theory of Plato, and I am a big fan of Greek philosophy. I recently discovered a blog that explained this theory pretty well, . Tracy states that, “ The first ever written reference to each person having a destined mate was written by the ancient Greek philosopher, Plato (427 BC-348 BC). Plato's theory was that each human being is part of one soul, in which they only have half of. The idea is that the soul was "split-apart" and separated from each other– and, since that time, the two halves have been forever searching for one another in order to join together and regain their sense of original oneness. Many serious theorists propose that each of these alleged halves of the one soul learns all of life's lessons at their own pace, and if the two halves happen to c


Do you ever feel broken?  I couldn't find a better word to describe this feeling, but broken seems to take care of it.  You know the feeling that causes you to keep asking yourself if the feelings you are having are good or bad or right or wrong, and you feel like you just aren't getting it right?  I call it "feeling broken" because we want to "fix" ourselves when we question these feelings.    Here is what I have to say about feeling broken, STOP IT!!! (hahaha) Feelings are part of being human.  You know the phrase, "You have to go through it to get to it?"  You can't get through something if you don't let yourself have the full effect of the feelings you have for it.  Things just are...They will be what they will be no matter how you feel about it, which goes back to my post about having the illusion of control.  By you judging these feelings so harshly you may not make the decision that is best for you, that is fair to you.  You mig


As I was scrolling through quotes today on the internet, one of my favorite past times to kill boredom, I came across one that I had not heard before, but really struck resonance with me.  It states that, "A close friendship is every bit as sacred and eternal as marriage."  Wow, I was blown away by that as well as the fact that I had not thought of it in this context before.  After all, isn't marriage supposed to be a bond between two people who consider themselves to be close friends? I then realized this is one huge part of why I never married.  I thought maybe I was a commitment phobic, and to a degree I guess that has always been true, but then I thought about how many really close friends I have been so fortunate to have over the years, and those I still have that I have known for years and years and I think it fulfills me.  I have never had the need to be surrounded by people in my life, only a select few...the few I feel are worth the time and effort that goe


A very wise person once told me that thoughts are things (thank you T.S.) and that what you think about comes to fruition. What truth there is to that!!! I never realized this so much until I began to turn my negative life into a postive one and now, wow, things that I think about, good and positive things, are entering my life and I'm so blown away by this concept. It makes sense though, because with everyone and everything being vibrational, you are naturally going to manifest what you think about. What is changing you ask? Every part of my world. The way I view things now, the choices I make, the judgments I stopped making, my views about myself and my body, self-confidence and having love in my life. I feel free now. I used to have a three bedroom house and it was full of antiques and material things. Once I made the decision to change my life, I sold all of it. I admit at first it was difficult, but then I realized I just wanted to start over and start positive


Is that, or is that not, a title that already confuses you? I thought it would. Good. The following is a quote by author George Saunders : "Try to remain permanently confused.  Anything is possible.  Stay open, forever, so open it hurts, and then open up some more, until the day you die, world without end, amen."  I love this quote.  I feel like he is saying that you should open yourself up and expose every nerve and feel every inch of life...feel all you can feel, confusion, pain, joy, love, laughter, passion and even some of the not-so-pleasant emotions because that is what it is to truly be alive.  To be open to all the change and atrophy coming at you from the world...not to over think it all, but to just live it, be it, own it, love it and cherish it...every second.  If you think about things all the time and try to understand everything, you can drive yourself crazy, not to mention completely miss the meaning if you figure it out.  Sometimes things don't make


(My latest journal design) Did you ever want something so much, even though you knew it wasn't good for you?  I'm not referring to food because we always want that.  No, I'm referring to relationships...with people you know going in will not work out, and yet you go in anyway, either out of a sense of loneliness or desperation or the need for sex.  The wrong reason can never be the right reason to have a relationship.  For me, unfortunately, I have never been able to tell if people are lying to me in the beginning.  I believe them when they affirm their feelings of love for me and then I go in full bore and do everything in my power to show them how much I care.  I dote, I spoil, and I am the most monogamous partner ever possible.  But then it never fails, people get what they want from me, be it money, help, sex or a personal hand maiden, then they throw me away.  At some point I feel I had to know going in, that these people would do this to me from the start. I ha


I had to post this because it is working out so well for me that I wanted to offer it to others.  Our smartphones, whatever platform you use, have such amazing technology these days, so why not put it to work for you.  I downloaded a free app from Google Play called, "The To-Do Reminder."  I had mainly been using it for the obvious, daily reminder abilities it offers.  However, awhile back I decided to use it in a different way and it is working out really well.  For example, I have a daily reminder set for three times out of the day and when it goes off the reminder says to stop, check my thoughts and if there is anything negative there or stressful, to change it to something positive and make sure I take at least three, deep, diaphragmatic breaths, and then I am allowed to move on through my day.  In this way I am changing my thought patterns by first becoming aware of what they are and then by changing them to be positive and healthy thoughts.  Eventually it will beco

Coos Bay Walk...05-2015

Being such a big fan of nature and humanity, it would come of little or no surprise as to just how much I love to be outdoors taking pictures of both.  Yesterday I went for a walk in our local park and then strolled the downtown area with camera in hand.  Whenever I feel I cannot make sense of certain things in my life, I find that watching other people in their own little worlds helps me to add perspective into mine, as well as the beauty and awe I find in nature which soothes my soul to its core.  I have uploaded some of my pictures from my inspirational walk with hopes that they will inspire you as well. Click here to view these pictures larger


I took this on my Friday drive down the coast and back, so I could share it with everyone. Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.


Have you ever seen your universe?  This may sound like an odd question, but it is possible and it is real.  Our mortality as we know it, is a vibration, as is everything that makes up our “reality”… the things we see, feel, hear, taste an smell…everything we know as “physical” and real.  If you ever want to experience an “out-of-body” sensation, try this:  Focus on the sky and just stare at it for a bit.  Now, as you stare you should start to notice billions of tiny particles floating all over…so many of them that there doesn't seem to be room for all of them.  Now focus on the particles and as you do, realize that everything about you is made up of just these particles…so is everyone and everything around you.  Why would I want to realize such a thing about my life you might ask?  Simple.  Because if you ever start taking things too seriously and feeling overwhelmed and stressed about physical things, i.e., money, work, bills, possessions, etc., this can bring you back to


It is so sad, but unfortunately true, that more people than not have been raped and/or abused at some point in their life, usually in childhood or as a young adult.  I am one such person.   For so many years after I was raped I lived inside of  sick and twisted patterns and made choices that were not only guaranteed to fail, but seriously rendered it  hard and self-destructive.  I went around blaming all of my  “problems” on the fact that I was raped and in turn I  let myself fall into relationships that were ultimately  abusive in one form or another.  I told myself that I was a victim and that the world owed me something for what I had been through.  Maybe if I had had someone to talk to during this time I might have chosen to see things  differently, but I did not.  What I failed to realize at  the time was that I  made  myself a victim.  I  let  my attacker win.  Because of what he did to me I felt fear all of  the time in every situation.  I let my self-e