Do you ever feel like you’re the same inside? Like no matter how hard you try to change and move forward...you just can’t? That you keep making the same mistakes over and over even though your deepest desire is to get it right? I call this…stuck in time (aka stuck in a moment).
Devastating moments, traumas and just plain horrible events occur in all of our lives, and if we don’t make peace with them and see them for what they are…lessons…then our psyches refuse to move on. Our bodies and souls move forward, but not freely and not without great effort. Your head, and therefore your heart, will become “stuck” in the moments you can’t forgive and you tend to remain that age until you can forgive. Using myself as an example…I was raped at age 21 and for the next, approximate, 20 years that followed, I remained a hurt, angry and vindictive 21-year-old girl. Everything I tried in life, failed…or so it seemed. I was depressed and trusted no one, and therefore made one wrong decision on top of another, sabotaging every good thing that tried to make its way into my self-deprecating life. Years later I learned how to finally deal with this event and knew that I could only ever move on if I were to forgive myself…that’s right…me, not him. He will never be forgiven, but I needed to quit giving him and that event any more time and attention and focus on the real problem…my perception. When I forgave myself for all of the illusive perceptions and self-blame…I could move on with my life and finally put it all behind me, even though I had created the illusion that I already had. The forgiveness made it real.
What happens to you is only one percent of your life…how you perceive it and how you react to it and handle it, is the other 99 percent. If you find yourself repeating the same self-deprecating behavior over and over and realize that you are stuck in time, search your soul and find the thing or things that hurt you, put your finger on it/them and address them head on until you can forgive yourself. Journal, meditate, therapize, whatever works best for you, but make the end result complete and total forgiveness of self. Love yourself that much and honor your life by living your dreams to their fullest…do that and all good things fall into place with ease. Be happy…it’s extremely possible.
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