Tuesday, November 18, 2014


One of the nicest things about getting a new life are the new opportunities and new surroundings.  The new job I have finds me in the beautiful surroundings of an Oregon forest complete with waterfalls and rivers.  I just had to take these three, short videos as I was in awe of just how beautiful it is there.



Habits can be hard to break and, let’s face it, some of them we don’t really want to break, but in the long run, if you want to grow spiritually and emotionally, there are some that will be necessary to break.

Okay, so in the past I have written a couple of posts about not gossiping and keeping your judgments to yourself, but it would appear that judging others is actually quite a bad habit that SO MANY people need to break if they are to heal and grow.  Why do so many of us feel the need to judge?  I was guilty of this habit as well, but I try now to see the good and positive things in people and, if they have traits that I feel judgmental about, I am turning that urge into saying nothing and keeping it to myself and working on why I would care about judging them either way.  I realized how pathetic I was being when I would run to, call, or relay in any manner to a friend or acquaintance, my recent judgments about a person we both knew.  So much energy is wasted with gossip and remember, what you put out into the universe will come back to you or at you, threefold.  We have to consider that some people are sad inside or negative or very insecure or have had bad things happen to them and they don’t come off well to others or appear just downright mean.  Who are we to judge them when we probably have walked in their shoes at one time or another but may have better coping skills than others in social situations.

Does it make us feel like we are better than the people we judge?  Does it give us some kind of validation while at the same time making us feel that we have invalidated the person we put down?  I’ve had people make all kinds of judgments about me, not as a person, as 99% of them had never taken the time to get to know me nor would I let them, but based on the way I look or certain things they’ve heard me say or do at work.  Better still, things other people have told them, i.e. their own judgments about me.  Wow, how shallow can we be!  People don’t seem to realize that these malicious judgments, also known as gossip, can really stunt your own personal, spiritual growth and while you are being judgmental you are just basically showing others how insecure you are. 

There are many quotes about judging other; the bible, of course says, “Judge not , lest ye be judged,” which is one of my favorites because it covers two things at once, i.e. that if you judge others, others will judge you and, what you put out there will come back at you.  There is also a quote that says, “What people say about you behind your back is none of your business.”  While I concur with that statement, the part I have a problem with is someone’s need to talk behind your back unless, of course it’s about plans you all have together or events from your day together.  If you trash someone behind their back and do it often, ask yourself this question, “Why do I keep this person in my life?”  It’s obvious that your low opinion of this person means you are not a fan, so why do you keep them around, sucking good and positive energy from your soul, leaving you stressed and drained?  Obviously we can’t help who we work with sometimes and we can’t always escape our family members, but we can have control over just how far we let them into our lives and how much we make them a part of them.  Just because you’re related to someone does not mean you have to get along or even force yourself to like them.  Just because you work with someone you don’t really care for, doesn’t mean you have to let them into your personal life or even try to like them if you don’t.  You can agree to disagree and keep business to just business and not be so insecure that you need to talk about what you feel is wrong with them to others. 

If you ever want to get the stress out of your life, it is up to your and you alone, to break this bad habit.  I guarantee you the most-loved individual in a workplace, group of friends or family, is the one about which other people will say, “I love that fact that she never has an unkind thing to say about anyone.”  That is a person who is looked up to, respected, popular and loved for being brave enough to be him or her self, and letters other be themselves, and who has grown spiritually and emotionally, exponentially. 

Wednesday, November 12, 2014


In college I did a paper on the way the advertising industry has spent years tweaking our minds with subliminal messaging.  What is subliminal messaging you may ask?  The definition I found on the internet defines it as: existing or operating below the threshold of consciousness; insufficiently intense to produce a discrete sensation but influencing or designed to influence mental processes or behavior: subliminal advertising.  In other words, it is a way of planting words and/or suggestive images into ads to ensure that your sub-conscious mind will take their bait and ultimately buy their product, hence the girl sitting on the hood of the cool hot rod in the hot rod magazine.  This picture is plain and simple, just a simple stream of ketchup being poured onto a simple hotdog, but closer look reveals that it is actually a tongue licking a hotdog.  Even if you didn’t consciously pick up on it at first, your subconscious mind would retain that message and use it the next time you came in contact with a hotdog and/or ketchup:

Some little-known trivia about the first Camel cigarette packs; the picture of the camel on the pack was originally anatomically correct.  This was supposed to get the smoker’s subconscious mind to relate smoking to sex and thereby make the cigarettes irresistible. 

The reason this subject came to mind today was because I happily rediscovered one of my favorite websites for positive affirmation and it uses subliminal messaging…quite effectively.  I swear when I watch the videos geared toward loving yourself and being strong and independent, It doesn’t take long before I start feeling better and better about myself and my life.  Sometimes I feel the effects within the same day. 

I wanted to pass this website along to anyone who may benefit from it as it has done wonders for me.  When you watch the videos, make sure you gaze only at only the pictures on the screen and ignore any feint words flashing in the background as that is how it works its wonders. 

Here is the link: http://www.subliminal-videos.com/dlownsers/content/watchthem/watchtem.php

Get positive people…get subliminal!!! 

Tuesday, November 11, 2014


Stress is a major topic of concern these days and rightfully so.  It has been statistically proven to be the number one factor linking together multiple causes for disease and accidents as well as a host of other negative incidents throughout our lives.  Stress is defined by Merriam Webster as: 

a : the burden on one's emotional or mental well-being created by demands on one's time.
So, as I sat and studied this ominous word staring at me from the computer screen, I decided to make it into an acronym based on how it has affected my life and how it ultimately led to my insanity.  This was my result:
     Responsibility 4
I now have an acronym defining the way I used to live my life.  This was a great exercise for me and I heartily recommend that everyone give it a try.  Think about what causes the most stress in your life and make an acronym out of it.  Write it on a post-it and stick it to your computer or on a mirror; some place your frequent during the day.
The root of stress is caused by two factors, first a colossal lack of time management and second, the inability to know how to prioritize.  Life is time. We are born with a predetermined amount of time on this earth and any time spent in stressful, negative situations is time wasted, which results in stress.  I think that we all know deep down inside, that we waste time on things that don't make us happy, and we do them anyway, i.e., jobs we settle for because the money is good but that don't really fulfill us, relationships we stay in because we don't feel we are strong enough to leave them and move on, negative habits we don't think we can change for the better, etc.  Think of your life and ask yourself what you could do that would really make you gut-wrenchingly happy, no matter how difficult you think it would be to manage, and DO it!!!  
Now let's talk about priorities...healthy priorities.  We need to understand that just because we have been programmed to believe that happiness comes from working for the government to pay for a roof over our heads and food and clothes and cars and bills, doesn't mean it is what life is meant to be.  I believe countries like Italy have the right idea. They work, but they take as much time as they want during a day to nap, eat, make love, spend time with families and friends and relax.  They put those things above money and greed and they are healthier because of it.  They don't call us "crazy Americans" for no reason.
In my research I found some ways to manage stress and I wanted to share them.  I visited the Time Thoughts website and they suggest the following:
"Take up a new hobby or sport. Find something that you like to do and turn it into a hobby. It doesn't matter what it is as long as it distracts your mind from the pressures of the day. You could join a social group and meet people with the same passions.
Help out with a charity. Charities are always looking for volunteers to help with events and collecting. Find a charity that you are passionate about and donate a few hours to helping them in the community. You might meet people with more serious problems than yourself in which case you may see that things could be a lot worse!
Get physical. Doing physical jobs like gardening or DIY can be a great way to vent pent up energy and frustrations. This will relieve stress and improve the look of your home.
Exercise your stress away. Any physical exercise causes the brain to release chemicals called endorphins that elevate mood and calm the nerves. Getting fit and healthy also decreases the chances that you will suffer from a serious stress-related illness in the future. Join a running or cycling club and forget about work and family for a few hours a week.

Alternatively, if you don’t fancy anything physical why not try one of the following:
Deep breathing and muscle relaxation
This is a relaxation technique in which you concentrate on controlling your breathing and the tension in your muscles. By consciously contracting a specific set of muscles while you inhale and then fully relaxing the muscles as you exhale you can systematically relax the whole body. Concentrating on relaxation will also distract your mind from the stresses of the day.
Take time to read
It doesn't matter what you read as long as it takes you away from your life for a while and allows you to experience some other world. Novels and autobiographies are particularly good for diverting your thoughts away from the stresses and worries of the day.
Learn to meditate
The art of meditation is easy to learn and as it allows you to suspend your thoughts for a period of time it is great for forgetting about the pressures that you are under.
Vacation away
Take a vacation and don’t leave a contact number! Go somewhere that suits you and really let your hair down. It doesn’t matter if you hire a log cabin in the middle of nowhere or whether you have a fortnight in Ibiza as long as you forget all about your everyday life while you’re there. You will come back refreshed and ready to face the stressful parts of your life head on.
Most of these techniques for relaxation are quick and easy to do so that they can be done on a daily basis. Don’t let your stresses build up otherwise even the best relaxation methods won’t be able to help."
I also came to understand that more important than planning what to DO during a day, is planning what NOT to do.  Plan NOT to take on other peoples' problems...plan NOT to look any further into the future than the moment in front of you...plan NOT to set your goals so high that you feel you let yourself down...plan NOT to take on more than you know you can comfortably handle, and so on.
B+(be positive)...take baby steps...learn to live stress free.

Sunday, November 2, 2014


I am not the best cinematographer but I did try to capture the area that I most enjoy spending time in and during this time there were these great surfing dudes out there to watch.  The rock I am standing on is a reef that jets way out into the ocean and there are tide pools to study and on the left, a bank of rocks with crashing waves and on the right is the jetty where the large ships and barges enter and exit the bay.  I love that they call this place the "bay area" because I spent so many years in the San Francisco bay area.  I had the most reflective, spiritual day I  have had in a long time and I wanted to share the sound of the waves and the beauty I was so blessed to enjoy today.

Saturday, November 1, 2014


In the ever-wise words of Ghandi, "Be the change you want to see in the world." Now, while I agree these are words to live by, I also believe it to be imperative that you first Be the change you want to see in you.  I realize more and more, day after precious day, how fundamental it is that you know you, without a shadow of a doubt, before you take on anything outside of your world. We all live spherically inside our own, comfortable planes of existence, much like a subdivision in a city or town. We have our circle(s) of friends, our work world, our play world and our realities and, while there is no such thing as perfection, we all try to be the best possible versions of ourselves that we know how to be.
Yesterday I had the pleasure of conversing with a friend on this topic who always manages to shed new light into my world.  

My continuing journey toward my personal regeneration is based upon becoming the most positive version of myself I can be to create the most positive results and ultimate joys life can offer.  Having had so many alcoholic and often-negative people in my life, it has been difficult to overcome the tendencies toward negativity that were instilled into me.  Determination in this endeavor however, is key.  My positive self-talk and deepening faith is finally coming to the point that, with practice, will become second nature.  This is who I have always wanted to be.  Expect the negative, and you will receive it. Put negative words and thoughts out there and that is what will come your way. My friend taught me to use only positive words in my self-talk, i.e., instead of saying or thinking, "I do not have heart disease," use words like, "I am heart-healthy." If you use negative words in stating the positive change, you are still putting negativity out there.  

Stop asking why.  The answer to that question will always be...why not.  I am a deep thinker and because of that have spent most of my life asking why this happened or why that won't happen or didn't happen.  Why is a word that cannot be addressed in life because it is what it is.  Things are as they are meant to be. Asking why does not change a situation, it only causes you stress.  Even if you can find the answer to the why in question, you may not like the answer and still you will be stressed. 

Have faith. Be thankful. Move forward. I find that whenever I say thank you, and I say it out loud with my words and my actions, I receive more of the same positive results. Be the change you want to see in you and you WILL be the change you want to see in the world.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014


Ever wonder why you wake up craving caffeine?  Ever wonder why, after eating that jelly doughnut in the morning that 20 minutes later you feel extremely tired and still hungry?  Ever wonder why “diet” products on the market can actually make you gain weight?  These are things I have wondered a lot about recently because I still have times when I feel like crap and there is no real reason for it.  So, I went on a research binge and let me tell you, I am a different person now.  I am juicing and eating whole foods and watching label ingredients and losing weight and waking up with energy.  My skin is softer and my face looks younger and the stress has melted away.  My coping skills are stronger and I a feel more cognizant all the time.  WOW.  After having experienced these positive changes for only a short time now the difference is amazing.  I want to share my new-found knowledge with everyone in the hopes that it will affect as many people as possible and maybe keep them from getting cancer, heart disease and so many other possible illnesses.
First of all, stay positive.  Don’t tell brain I CAN’T have it and I WANT it…tell your brain I CAN have it, but I don’t want it.  This makes it your choice and the cravings will eventually stop.  There is a documentary I watched called Hungry for Change.  I have included this link and I hope everyone will check this out.  www.hungryforchange.tv  if you love yourself, prove it.  Show your body, which is the only vessel you have to live in, some respect.  Stop shoveling in the pesticides and toxins.  Let’s use Diet Coke as an example because it is the most widely-consumed and we will break down the ingredients:
Carbonated Water – carbonation is a gas and this gas added to a liquid and taken internally, not only messes with your teeth, but also sucks the calcium from your system.
Caramel color - is a food dye….What are the risks of food dyes added to processed food? In late June, the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) issued a press release saying “food dyes pose a rainbow of risks: cancer, hyperactivity, allergic reactions” and called for a ban on artificial food dyes. Here’s a link to a table from CSPI that summarizes the studies on food dyes
Aspartame - Beware of Deadly Aspartame Sugar Substitutes!
Although its name sounds tame, this deadly neurotoxin is anything but. Aspartame is an artificial sweetener (over 200 times sweeter than sugar) made by the Monsanto Corporation and marketed as "Nutrasweet," "Equal," "Spoonful" and countless other trade names. Although aspartame is added to over 9,000 food products, it is not fit for human consumption! This toxic poison changes into formaldehyde in the body and has been linked to migraines, seizures, vision loss and symptoms relating to lupus, Parkinson's Disease, Multiple Sclerosis and other health destroying conditions (even Gulf War Syndrome). Learn more information about this crime against our health.
Aspartame - Artificial Diet Sweetener Unhealthy & Makes You Fat!
Because Monsanto's artificial sweetener aspartame (sold as "Nutrasweet," "Equal," and "Spoonful") is over 200 times sweeter than sugar, it's a common ingredient found in "diet" foods and has become a sweetening staple for dieters. Besides being a deadly poison (see page 42), aspartame actually contributes to weight gain by causing a craving for carbohydrates. A study of 80,000 women by the American Cancer Society found that those who used this neurotoxic "diet" sweetener actually gained more weight than those who didn't use aspartame products.  Find out more about the deadly health risks posed by Monsanto's toxic sweetener on this website:www.aspartamekills.com
Aspartame/Nutrasweet is not very sweet in itself.  This may explain why Equal puts Dextrose (sugar) and maltodextrin as the first ingredients (so that it tastes sweet).  Aspartame/Nutrasweet is a brain drug that stimulates your brain so you think that the food you're eating tastes sweet.  If you pay attention you'll notice that when using Aspartame/Nutrasweet, everything you eat at the same time also tastes sweet!  This may be why Aspartame/Nutrasweet causes you to crave carbohydrates.  Hence, you may not lose weight using it.
By the way, cyclamates got pulled off the market in the 70's in the US (but not Canada or the rest of the world).  Why?  Because the sugar industry saw too much of their market disappear.

Caffeine - Anxiety is feelings of worry and nervousness, and in intense forms, anxiety can manifest in a group of disorders called anxiety disorders. Caffeine is a stimulant that increases heart rate and can lead to nervousness and agitation, increasing anxiety levels. For people who already suffer from anxiety, caffeine can spur panic attacks, and for those who don't normally feel anxious, caffeine can cause anxiety.
Caffeine causes an increase in heart rate and can make some people feel like their heart is pounding, even causing panic attacks. A panic attack is an intense feeling of terror and anxiety that feels like you are losing control and having a heart attack. According to Roland Griffiths, PhD, a professor in the departments of psychiatry and neuroscience at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, caffeine can trigger and worsen anxiety and panic disorders. Caffeine can also cause jitters, headaches, nervousness and irregular heartbeat.
Citric Acid -
The most common symptoms of citric acid overdose include stomach cramps or pain, diarrhea, nausea or vomiting, loss of appetite, increased sweating and swelling, and pain in the abdominal or stomach area. In rare cases, yellow eyes or skin may occur. Citric acid may be visible in the stool. Contact your doctor immediately if any of these effects occur after taking medication with citric acid.
Less common symptoms of too much citric acid are more serious. Symptoms include bloody or black, tarry stool, or bloody or cloudy urine. There may be a frequent urge to urinate or a decrease in the amount of urine. Other symptoms may include fever, headache and an increase in blood pressure. You may experience back or side pain as well as muscle pain. Other symptoms include nervousness or restlessness. Skin rashes, hives or itching may also occur. Sores, ulcers or other blemishes may appear on the lips or in the mouth. You may also get a sore throat. Swelling of the face, fingers, ankles, feet or lower legs are other potential side effects. If you have unusual bleeding or bruising, tiredness or weakness and weight gain, it could indicate citric acid overdose. You may also experience numbness or tingling in the hands or feet. Contact your doctor immediately if you experience any of these symptoms.
Phytoketonurics - Have you ever looked at the label on a diet soda can and seen the warning: Phenylketonurics - contains phenylalanine? I personally know of several people who refuse to drink diet soda because the word "phenylketonurics" sounds too scary! What does "phenylketonurics" mean? Is it something you can catch from diet soda?
Well, let me take the opportunity to answer these questions. "Phenylketonurics" is NOT something you can catch from diet soda! This long, scary-sounding word is included in a warning at the end of the ingredients list on some products, but it is NOT an ingredient these products. "Phenylketonurics" is the term used to refer to people that have the metabolic disorder Phenylketonuria, or PKU for short. So - kind of like how the word "diabetics" refers to people that have "diabetes", "phenylketonurics" refers to the people that have "phenylketonuria". I myself, am one of these phenylketonurics and the warning on diet soda cans is included merely to inform people like me that the product contains the synthetic chemical ASPARTAME .

I also found a list you can take to the grocery store with you and make healthy choices if you plan to purchase processed foods.  There is also an app you can get on your phone called Fooducate:

Unacceptable Ingredients for Food

The following list contains ingredients that Whole Foods Market finds unacceptable in food products.

Please note that creating a product with no unacceptable ingredients does not guarantee that Whole Foods Market will sell it.

We reserve the right to change this list at any time. This list is intended for illustrative purposes for our shoppers. If you are a supplier interested in selling your product to Whole Foods Market, please contact a Whole Foods Market buyer – the list below is not intended for use in formulating products.

  • acesulfame-K (acesulfame potassium)
  • acetylated esters of mono- and diglycerides
  • ammonium chloride
  • artificial colors
  • artificial flavors
  • aspartame
  • azodicarbonamide
  • benzoates in food
  • benzoyl peroxide
  • BHA (butylated hydroxyanisole)
  • BHT (butylated hydroxytoluene)
  • bleached flour
  • bromated flour
  • brominated vegetable oil (BVO)
  • calcium bromate
  • calcium disodium EDTA
  • calcium peroxide
  • calcium propionate
  • calcium saccharin
  • calcium sorbate
  • calcium stearoyl-2-lactylate
  • caprocaprylobehenin
  • carmine
  • certified colors
  • cyclamates
  • cysteine (l-cysteine), as an additive for bread products
  • DATEM (Diacetyl tartaric and fatty acid esters of mono and diglycerides)
  • dimethylpolysiloxane
  • dioctyl sodium sulfosuccinate (DSS)
  • disodium calcium EDTA
  • disodium dihydrogen EDTA
  • disodium guanylate
  • disodium inosinate
  • EDTA
  • ethyl vanillin
  • ethylene oxide
  • ethoxyquin
  • FD & C colors
  • foie gras
  • GMP (disodium guanylate)
  • hexa-, hepta- and octa-esters of sucrose
  • high fructose corn syrup
  • hydrogenated fats
  • IMP (disodium inosinate)
  • irradiated foods
  • lactylated esters of mono- and diglycerides
  • lead soldered cans
  • methyl silicon
  • methylparaben
  • microparticularized whey protein derived fat substitute
  • monosodium glutamate (MSG)
  • natamycin
  • nitrates/nitrites
  • partially hydrogenated oil
  • polydextrose
  • potassium benzoate
  • potassium bromate
  • potassium sorbate
  • propionates
  • propyl gallate
  • propylparaben
  • saccharin
  • sodium aluminum sulfate
  • sodium benzoate
  • sodium diacetate
  • sodium glutamate
  • sodium nitrate/nitrite
  • sodium propionate
  • sodium stearoyl-2-lactylate
  • solvent extracted oils, as standalone single-ingredient oils (except grapeseed oil).
  • sorbic acid
  • sucralose
  • sucroglycerides
  • sucrose polyester
  • sulfites (except in wines, meads and ciders)
  • TBHQ (tertiary butylhydroquinone)
  • tetrasodium EDTA
  • vanillin

Please consider this with all of your heart because your heart considers you every second of the day.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014


I wrote this poem about anger many
years ago, but I love how fitting it is, not to mention
what an angry kid I was (see proof below…lol).
Anger’s pointless;
Causes pain;
Eats your heart and rots your brain;
When you feel discord;
Give it to the Lord;
Nuff said!

Saturday, October 25, 2014


Some of my favorite quotes are quotes from  D.H. Lawrence.  The following two most especially:

“I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.”  He also said, “I want to live my life so that my nights are not full of regrets.”

Wow…I mean how much more do you need to know to realize that the answer to living a stress-free life is right in front of you everyday; everywhere in nature.  The next time you begin to feel stressed out or frustrated with your life or job or other factors, sit somewhere and observe animals and other of God’s creations, in nature, or even those you keep as pets, and watch how they flit from moment to moment, never looking back.  They look for food, mate, give birth, hunt and gather, and some nest.  We can’t know what they are thinking, but it becomes apparent when you watch them that they could care less about the moments behind them or the ones they will encounter in the future.  They are just here, in the now…and they know how to just be. 

We all possess this instinct and, given the society we are raised in and our parental upbringing, some of us are fortunate enough to have a handle on this simple yet very complex concept. 

Sometimes we have a habit of getting too deep or wrapped up on our own heads with that dreaded self-talk that all too often keeps us from the bliss of slumber.  Dwelling is telling…in other words dwelling on things all the time will almost always result in sadness, depression and/or regrets, which tells the world that you are a dweller.  On the flip side of that, always trying to project into the future brings frustration and anxiety. 

Sometimes we sit and feel sorry for the choices we did or didn’t make and worry about the outcome of those choices.  We stew in our own juices, so to speak.  NOT healthy.

Balance is the key to a healthy, happy, and successful life and all we have to do is take a cue from nature to learn how to successfully flit from moment to moment, doing things just for us, thereby resulting in feeling good and helping others as we go.  Love is most-often said to be the meaning of life, which I believe is true, but that love has to be genuine and to be genuine you need to know and love your life to the fullest and to achieve that, you need balance.  We are essentially alone as individuals, but we can share our lives with others if we so choose.  Balance will create bliss in our being able to share our lives successfully.

Try observing nature in its fullest when you begin to fall out of balance and as you do, be ever-conscious of the moments you are experiencing then and there.  No regrets, no worries…just be.



I don’t know if I will ever be more grateful for anything in my life, other than my own life,  than my most precious gift…thank you, God.

Monday, October 20, 2014


Ever been depressed for any length of time?  I mean sure, we’ve all been depressed from time to time for various reasons when life hands us the proverbial bag of lemons, but what about those of us who suffer from disorders laced with depression or the actual disease of depression itself?  For us depression can often be a constant.  As I have evolved through my seasons of life I have constantly fought to find the positive, eliminate the negative and some days fight as hard as I possible could just to get up and greet the day, but since I moved to a new state and made a very positive life change, delved deeper into my faith and spirituality and let go of the reins of control, I have noticed that the depression I generally endure with my various disorders, has greatly subsided.  True it has not fast-become a non-existent issue and, due to my genetics probably never will, but definitely much improvement.

Why then the topic at all?  Well, today I was down at the bottom of the black pit again, where I  so hate to be, wondering WTF???  Especially with things finally going my way.  Then I noticed something, and it may be the reason a lot of people tend not to get the help they need for this disease. I think I felt that the attention I attracted when I was depressed was just that, attention that I needed.   When I was depressed my friends would call to check on me to make sure I wasn’t going to do anything stupid to myself or anyone else and they knew I was fragile and lonely.  I would attempt suicide but c’mon let’s face it, if I had wanted to kill myself I would be dead right now.  “Attempted” suicide is one of the all time great attention seekers and cries for help there is.  My ex was great at it, and in the end, finally mastered it. 

Now that I have removed myself from the situations I was in that were the root of my unhappiness, i.e. the place I was living, the debt, the destructive people, etc., I now find attention in much more positive ways.  This past weekend for example, I attended a local art class and met new people; I went to the casino down the hill and saw The Spinners perform live (so awesome) and I met up with my friend Trish and her boyfriend who showed me a great time as we conquered the monster Oregon dunes…such awesome thrill-seeking…I loved it:10731018_10204345720075357_6530492037582860756_n

I put this out there for those of you who are trapped in that horrible, sick pattern of staying down because it is what you are used to.  I know medication isn’t always the answer because I am the first one to tell you I won’t go on any of it, but if you just find the positive things in life, little by little, day by day and moment by moment, you can kick its ass!  It won’t be instant.  Life is not like instant mashed potatoes where you just add water.  It will take time and it will take understanding on your part…understanding of your innermost workings and getting to know yourself and how you tick.  Tell yourself you don’t need to be sick to command attention in your life because you don’t.  You CAN turn it around if you find the strength within your soul.  Fight with the talk in your head…the voice that says things like, “I’m having a bad day,” or “I screwed that up.”  You need to answer that voice back immediately with, “…You’re not having a bad day, it’s a great day but you had to deal with something that didn’t make you happy for that one particular moment.  The next moment will be better,” or “No, you didn’t screw that up, it could have turned out worse but it didn’t and it isn’t anything that cannot be rectified.”  That destructive, negative self-talk is learned as you grow up and/or as you age and it can be unlearned as well.  Be conscious of your thoughts.  Write them down if need be and read them back each day to see areas where you can turn the thoughts and opinions of yourself around.  Make a list with two columns..one column titled “negative thoughts I had”…the other titled, “positive alternative thoughts,” i.e. the thoughts you could use to replace those negative ones.  These exercises will get you out of your head so you can see a pattern and change it. 

I hope you will try to eliminate your negatives because life is a gift and it is so short.  What a waste not to dive in head first and experience all its joy.  Remember, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Friday, October 17, 2014


As we journey through life, feeling our way blindly each day with a proverbial white cane, we have so many obstacles to cross, much like an athletic high jump.  We can choose to trek this journey in several ways, i.e., we can live in the past, ultimately experiencing utter depression and regret; we can live in the future where we are sure to experience nothing but total frustration and stress; or we can exercise the one guarantee that God has given us…we can live in the here and the now.  If we are fortunate to wake up each morning, then we have been gracefully granted another day to experience life…to wipe the slate clean from the previous day and start anew, creating the day we wish for.  Now, while you may not think that you have any control over how your day turns out…think again.  You are the one orchestrating the tone and the outcome.  If you choose to live in the moment and for the day, you can choose to make time for a walk, one in which you smell the flowers, look up at the sky, feel the breeze on your skin and listen to birds and other beautiful nature sounds.  What’s that?  No time for a walk?  Really?  Wow, I used to think that way also, but then I realized, there are 24 hours in each day we are given so yes, you CAN make time, but it is up to you to kill off the excuses you make and start putting more importance on the beautiful things in life and way less importance on whether the bills or paid or the house is clean or a job whose only purpose is to make sure the bills are paid.  What a vicious cycle society puts us in.  Then we go home telling ourselves how tired we are and that there is no time for a walk because we want to sit and watch t.v. or veg on facebook while eating junk food and other processed foods which nurse the toxins building up in our bodies, minds and souls…just like society has planned for us…next stop? probably cancer…if not physical cancer, then definitely mental and spiritual which are just as debilitatingly devastating if not more so.  Lately I have been walking 3 to 5 miles each morning and not just for exercising my physical body, but for exercising my five senses and my soul.  If you live in the negative your life will produce negative results.  If you live in the positive your life will produce positive results.  There is no such thing as perfection (that so many of us strive for) and there we are not built to have happiness 24/7, but what we can do is to take stock of the things that occur each day, all the little triumphs and happy moments and make those count for more than the bad stuff.  In this way you can achieve happiness every day.  Journaling and writing about the glass being half full as you recall your day can have a huge and positive influence and effect on you and the tone you set. 

I have also been diving back head-first into my art, my writing and my poetry, which for me is a huge and important way I need to nurture.  Below I have displayed some of my work.  I ask that these not be re-posted anywhere out of respect for my copyright and I thank you for that:



Kimberly D Miller

(c) 10-2014

Change is life, life is change;

Our situations rearrange;

First we're here, then we're there,

We must accept it everywhere;

Time and tide are constant spans;

Life just happens, don't make plans;

Control's an illusion to ease the mind;

No map to follow, will you find;

Walk the path you’re meant to tread;

Not ever a second should you dread;

We are here, no matter the test;

To pass them all by doing our best.

My photography is a huge part of who I am and now, so is walking on the beach.  I love writing messages in the sand and leaving them for whoever comes along and is meant to read them before they fade.20140929_155022

This is a picture of a notebook I bought but I love the art and the message.


These beautiful, giant evergreens make me feel like the small and insignificant cog I am in the grand scheme of things and I like that…it’s good to realize that the world does not revolve around us and that we share this planet with so many living things.


We have a mama and baby who have taken to hanging out in the back yard all day every day.  They don’t even flinch when you go out to talk to them.  They just prop those ears up and listen.


This is one type of art that I am getting back into…this is a greeting card that I made and inside is another flap that contains more art.


Awhile back a very good, artistic friend of mine who resides in Ohio, introduced me to Zentangles.  This is basically a form of art in which you do elaborate doodles and while you are working on them the “zen” or the relaxation of creating them sets in.  I am now doing them on canvases instead of paper and incorporating some of the paper into the canvases.  Very fun.


This is the cover of a book using gel medium to imbed metal bars into a cutout over the top of a picture.


I used the lid of a box to create this fall piece.


This is a bad picture but it shows how I used wooden letters, painted them and decoupaged them to create a beach theme in honor of my dream of living on the coast once again, coming true.20141017_124431

More Zentangles


This is my first watercolor in a long time.  It is not finished by far, but I wanted to show you that I am headed back into all forms. (picture is a bit blurry).


Thursday, October 9, 2014



As I sat, pondering the meaning of things whilst waiting for my pizza order today, I remembered the Crosby, Stills and Nash song, “Love the One You’re With.”  Struggling to remember the lyrics, I had to immediately consult the internet when I returned home in a hurry to find them.  There was something about these lyrics, even though I couldn’t remember all of them at that moment, that was gnawing at my gut.  It was as though I knew they were the very words I needed to finally express what I have been going through these past few months (plus the music rocks). While I realize the song had a bit of a different meaning when it was written, i.e., if your loved one is not around you should love whoever is with you at the time, sort of living in the moment, plus it was the 60’s - a time of sexual freedom and social closeness (pre-cell phones and electronics), I thought, hey this is what I have been going through but in the sense of self-discovery and self-love and acceptance.  

I never knew myself or loved or appreciated myself as much as I do now due to so much growth this past year, and I thought how cool it would be if I changed the lyrics (and only a handful at that) to reflect an ego-centered point of view and what that would sound like. So, having recently gotten rid of my fake nails in order to play the guitar again (just another part of me I’ve suppressed for such a long time), I came up with the following version (and added a few commentary notes for the purpose of this post which I did not use in the song:

If you're down and confused

And you don't remember who you're talking to,
Concentration slips away
Cause you're mind is far away

Well there's a rose in the fisted glove  (I love this image of a hand in a glove making a tight, angry fist which has a beautiful rose wrapped up inside of it knowing that the beauty of the rose would glisten if only the anger in that fist were to release)

And the eagle flies with the dove (another great image of a large, majestic class of bird flying next to the small, common female pigeon)
And if you can't be with the one you love honey (and even when you can)
Love the one you're with, Love the one you're with, (Because you are always with yourself)
Love the one you're with, Love the one you're with.

Don't be angry, don't be sad

Don't sit crying over good times you've had (just leave the past in the past)
There's a person inside of you
Who’s just waiting for something to do

Well there's a rose in the fisted glove 

And the eagle flies with the dove 
And if you can't be with the one you love honey 
Love the one you're with, Love the one you're with, 
Love the one you're with, Love the one you're with.

Turn your heartache upside down

Cause you can turn it all around
Get it together so you will know
Find yourself and you will glow

Well there's a rose in the fisted glove 

And the eagle flies with the dove 
And if you can't be with the one you love honey 
Love the one you're with, Love the one you're with, 
Love the one you're with, Love the one you're with.

My hope for everyone who reads this post, especially those of you in co-dependent relationships or with co-dependent tendencies, I hope you will realize that loving yourself and putting yourself first will not only guarantee your happiness, but it will make everything else in your life fall right into place exactly where it should be...no worries, no regrets. I think when we exhibit the fact that we respect ourselves, we automatically command respect from other people as well. 


Wednesday, October 8, 2014



Has it ever seemed to you that the nicer you are to people and the more you try to help them, that you end up being the one who is used and abused, lied about, lied to, shit on and thrown out like yesterday’s trash?  I have to say that unfortunately, that has been my experience 9 times out of 10. 

Recently however, through all of the latest turmoil and bumpy rides, I have been blessed with those few people in my life who actually care about me and who I am, rather than what I can or will do for them.  To those people I am so grateful I cannot express my gratitude. 

I now live in a new state, in new surroundings with infinite new possibilities for a new and positive life with a happy ending to each day.  I thank God for the strength to get through all of this, but I owe much of my thanks to those of you who stood behind me, didn’t judge me and only offered support and kind words.  You know who you are and I love you for it.

Sunday, October 5, 2014


The weather has been absolutely gorgeous this past week.  I have been wearing a tank top, sandals and no coat.  Today I ventured North, further up the coast and got to see the world's largest sea cave which, in the winter months, houses hundreds of sea lions.  Not only did I get to see such a gorgeous place, but I also conquered (this time anyway) my claustrophobia in order to take the elevator down into the cave...the only way down.  I took a leap of faith, went inside and made it up and down without panic.  I had to really talk to myself about relaxing, especially since I knew I was in a small, enclosed box that was gliding down in solid rock, but I DID IT!  Behold the power of positive thinking and faith.  It was so worth it and a personal triumph.  I also went to the Umpqua River Lighthouse and then up through Reedsport and Florence to the Haceta Head Lighthouse.  Below are more pictures of my adventures.

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