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Monday, June 27, 2016

FRAME SOMEBODY...


There's a lyric in a song by BOY entitled, "This is the Beginning," that goes, "Your eyes are the camera, your heart is the frame." Every time I hear this lyric I think of all the people I've ever been extremely close to and lost...especially my mother.


Loss, while certain, may just be the toughest part of life because we spend years with someone, nurturing our relationship with them, the good times, the bad, the hard times, the laughter, the love, the connection, only to be left behind. What may be the point then, you might ask? The journey...making sure that your heart becomes a permanent frame to cherish all that that person has meant to you...the lessons you learned from them and them from you..,.the soul-bonding that will never be the same with one person as it is with another...the unique imprint that that individual has left upon who you are at its very core...that's what it's all about...in other words, the love. 


Love enters our lives in so many ways and its meaning changes from person to person, relationship to relationship, heart to heart. The love of a parent with its child seems to me to be the greatest bond of all for when you lose that, you feel so alone in this world...like there will never again be a person you can turn to like you could the parent or parent-figure in your life. The love of a partner or soulmate, when lost, can leave you devastatingly empty...like a part of you yourself has gone. This however, is the biggest part of the journey, nurturing these relationships and then, when they have ebbed from your life, keeping them embedded in your heart as there is nothing more sentimental than that.


Always remember to cherish those people in your life who mean the world to you, even if you don't always see eye to eye, because one day they will be gone and then it will be too late to let them know that you loved them so much you framed them (with your heart).




Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Saturday, June 18, 2016

OBSERVATIONS...PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU WHO THEY ARE...

Years ago, during a time that I was fortunate enough to have made my home in San Francisco, one of my very favorite past times was hanging out in Golden Gate Park, watching and observing the myriad of people who happened by. There were people on roller skates, tricycles, bicycles and unicycles...some dressed in clown suits, some like mimes...some who were singing for their supper and some who just sang. Something I realized back then, and again recently while people-watching at the Marina in Brookings Harbor the other day, is that even if you don't know them, people will always tell you who they are...you merely need to observe.

I remember a lady who ran around the park with a sign that read, "Free Hugs," draped around her neck, who everyone labelled as crazy, but what I realized about this woman as I watched her was that she most likely had no one at home to receive the vast amount of love she had to give and she really wanted to share this gift with humanity. She would just walk up and hug random people, whether they welcomed her or not. I found it so interesting as to the varied responses she would get...some people would hug her back, smile and say thank you (these were people who were open to change and pretty happy-go-lucky, positive people)...others would cuss at her and push her away (the introverted, easily annoyed, keep-to-themselves type of people who did not take kindly to change)...and still others would walk way around her in order to avoid her altogether (the people who usually sit back in life and weigh everything out before making a decision...they may let her hug them one day, after they pass by her many times and determine that she is "safe," but they may not). I could sit and watch her for hours (and often did). I wish I could have afforded a video camera back then.


I also loved to observe the mimes, although they could become annoying when they got right in your face, but those who would pretend they were mechanical people would amuse me. It was like they were saying, "Look what I can do...I hope it makes you happy." I felt like they were not only trying to convey their talent, but to also use it to get people to smile and/or react in a positive way.


There is an old saying that goes, "actions speak louder than words," and, although I love words, I find that to be such a true statement. If you can get past what people are saying to you and observe their behavior, you will discover who they are...and you may be one of the few who do. It is so difficult to figure out who we are...we all have some idea, but very few of us have a full understanding of the whole picture as it consists of so many layers.


One of the classes I took recently on wellness coaching talked about an exercise wherein you write down everything you eat throughout the day to find out, not only how it is affecting your physical body, but also as to why you might be craving those particular foods and then make adjustments accordingly. I went a step further and realized that you could do the same thing with your actions to gain a better understanding of some of your hidden layers. An example here might be carrying a journal throughout the day and writing things down as they happen, i.e. I was in the grocery store today and helped a lady get some items from a tall shelf or A man with a cane was standing next to me where I was sitting on the bus, but I didn't give him my seat. Whatever the action may be, write it down and be extremely honest with your observations...don't add excuses to it either (like I didn't give him my seat because my back was hurting)...you won't reveal those layers by lying to yourself or making excuses. 


It is quite an eye-opener to discover who you really are, but remember to love and respect yourself and be proud of who you are no matter what you discover. Make the changes you need to make to be the person you are proud of. You can get away from most people, but you have to live with yourself 100% of the time.





Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Monday, June 6, 2016

MAYBE YOU NEED NEW EYES...

Marcel Proust, who penned so many insightful quotes, once wrote, "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." What an amazing insight this was, especially during his time. In thinking this through it boils down to the fact that everything is as we make it...see it...think it. We manifest what we think, therefore, if you are tired of your current reality, you can change the way you view it, i.e. see it through new eyes, and your reality will therefore change.

I know for a fact that whenever I have made a conscious effort to see a situation in a positive light, it changes the intensity and meaning of that particular situation. 

They say that you can search and move and try to discover new lands and new lives, but once you realize home is where the heart is, you will always be home.


Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

HAVE YOU LOOKED IN A MIRROR LATELY???

 

 



What is your honest opinion of yourself when you look in a mirror? Let's face it, most of us are so critical of our physical appearance because we base our opinion on society's version of the "perfect" and "acceptable" way that we should look. So, based on their criteria, when you look in a mirror and don't see a fine ass, great boobs, a slim waistline and flawless skin, do you get depressed and lose some of your all-too-important self-esteem? If you do, you are not alone. In fact, you are one of countless millions...and that is a sad commentary on our society. 


Why should our looks be so important? Why do we think that if we leave the house without our makeup or in our comfy street clothes or without doing our hair, that people are going to think we are not attractive. The truth is that the person you see in the mirror is the only person whose opinion should matter. You are what you think you are and if you think you are beautiful...then you are, it's that simple. Also, when you think you are beautiful, it naturally follows that others will as well.

I recently read the following article by Neel Burton on PsychologyToday.com entitled, Building Confidence and Self-Esteem...I love the points he makes here and hopefully you will find something positive to take away from reading it that will change your life:

"Self-esteem is affected by physical ill-health, negative life events such as losing your job or getting divorced, deficient or frustrating relationships, and a general sense of lack of control. This sense of lack of control is often particularly marked in people who are the victims of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, or of discrimination on the grounds of religion, culture, race, sex, or sexual orientation. 

Sometimes poor self-esteem can be deeply rooted and have its origins in traumatic childhood experiences such as prolonged separation from parent figures, neglect, or emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. If you think this is a particular problem for you, speak to a mental healthcare professional. Therapy or counselling may enable you to talk about such experiences and to try to come to terms with them. Unfortunately, therapy or counselling may be difficult to obtain, and may not be suitable for everyone.

Low self-esteem can predispose you to developing a mental disorder, and developing a mental disorder can in turn deliver a huge knock to your self-esteem. In some cases, low self-esteem is in itself a cardinal feature of mental disorder, for example, in depression or in borderline personality disorder. The relationship between low self-esteem and mental disorder is complex, and a person with a mental disorder is more likely than most to suffer from long-term low self-esteem.  
People with long-term low self-esteem generally see the world as a hostile place and themselves as its victim. As a result, they feel reluctant to express and assert themselves, miss out on experiences and opportunities, and feel helpless about changing things. All this merely lowers their self-esteem even further, and they end up getting caught in a downward spiral.
Thankfully, there are a number of simple things that anyone can do to boost his or her self-esteem and, hopefully, break out of this vicious circle. You may already be doing some of these things, and you certainly don't need to do them all. Just do those that you feel most comfortable with.
1. Make three lists: one of your strengths, one of your achievements, and one of the things that you admire about yourself. Try to get a friend or relative to help you with these lists. Keep the lists in a safe place and read through them regularly.
2. Think positively about yourself. Remind yourself that, despite your problems, you are a unique, special, and valuable person, and that you deserve to feel good about yourself. Identify and challenge any negative thoughts that you may have about yourself, such as ‘I am a loser’, ‘I never do anything right’, or ‘No one really likes me’.
3. Pay special attention to your personal hygiene: for example, style your hair, trim your nails, floss your teeth.
4. Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself.
5. Eat good food as part of a healthy, balanced diet. Make meal times a special time, even if you are eating alone. Turn off the TV or radio, set the table, and arrange your food so that it looks attractive on your plate.
6. Exercise regularly: go out for a brisk walk every day, and take more vigorous exercise (exercise that makes you break into a sweat) three times a week.
7. Ensure that you are getting enough sleep.
8. Manage your stress levels. If possible, agree with a close friend or relative that you will take turns to massage each other on a regular basis.
9. Make your living space clean, comfortable, and attractive. Display items that remind you of your achievements or of the special times and people in your life. 
10. Do more of the things that you enjoy doing. Do at least one thing that you enjoy every day, and remind yourself that you deserve it.
11. Get involved in activities such as painting, music, poetry, and dance. Such artistic activities enable you to express yourself, acquire a sense of mastery, and interact positively with others. Find a class through your local adult education service or community centre.
12. Set yourself a challenge that you can realistically achieve, and then go for it! For example, take up yoga, learn to sing, or cook for a small dinner party at your appartment or house.
13. Do some of the things that you have been putting off, such as clearing out the garden, washing the windows, or filing the paperwork.
14. Do something nice for others. For example, strike up a conversation with the person at the till, visit a friend who is sick, or get involved with a local charity.
15. Get others involved: tell your friends and relatives what you are going through and enlist their advice and support. Perhaps they have similar problems too, in which case you might be able to band up and form a support group.
16. Try to spend more time with those you hold near and dear. At the same time, try to enlarge your social circle by making an effort to meet people. 
17. On the other hand, avoid people, places, and institutions that treat you badly or that make you feel bad about yourself. This could mean being more assertive. If assertivenessis a problem for you, ask a healthcare professional about assertiveness training. 
5 quotations about self-esteem and self-confidence
Adversity and perseverance and all these things can shape you. They can give you a value and a self-esteem that is priceless. —Scott Hamilton
Giving people self-confidence is by far the most important thing that I can do. Because then they will act. —Jack Welch
Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. —Helen Keller
Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend. —Lao Tzu
To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are. —Anonymous


Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Monday, May 30, 2016

NOTE TO SELF...

NOTE TO SELF...

Dear Self,

I know you struggle and fight to stay afloat sometimes, but in case I don't tell you enough, you're amazing and beautiful. Thank you for being so strong, open and down-to-earth. The world sees you even when you think they don't and you feel invisible. I appreciate your heart and your stubbornness...your willingness to love, even after having been hurt so many times...it is admirable. I'm so proud to know that you've grown to acknowledge your worth. I'm so grateful to be you.

With love,
Me


Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

BEING STUCK IN A RUT CAN LITERALLY END YOUR LIFE...

I recently discovered an article at About.com entitled, “Hurdles to Wellness:Childhood Imprinting,” which is posted below...this article addresses beliefs I have had my entire life...that what you feel emotionally and spiritually can be 100% of what you feel physically and, if negative, will manifest itself in your body in negative ways:


"Many people stay in jobs or relationships where they are unhappy out of primal fears of survival. For these individuals it is nearly impossible to trust that they will be taken care of and that there may very well be a better opportunity around the corner. Learning to TRUST and SURRENDER are big hurdles to overcome. Although they feel underpaid or are grossly unsatisfied with employment, the threat of an unknown future keeps them frozen in the status quo. When we become fear-frozen in our putrid situations it should be no surprise when sickness surfaces. Ill-nurturing environments will affect our health and well-being. Sickness and pain in our bodies are signs telling us that we cannot be "well" while remaining in toxic relationships or continue working under poor conditions.

Sickness Can Be Our Hero, rescuing us from places and situations we don't what to be in.

A person may very well become so ill that they can no longer work his job and he will find himself unemployed. A few years ago I met a woman who was no longer able to work because her body had become consumed by a rare cancer. Although she was unhappy to be so ill, she wasn't completely miserable. She was greatly relieved that she no longer had to go to work every day and do a job she disliked. Her illness also afforded her a monthly disability check. Not working allowed her time to take up endeavors that suited her better than her old job ever did. A few months before she died she told me that she felt she had what it took to beat the cancer that was eroding her body. In fact, she had experienced remission a few times. But what haunted her most as each remission occurred was a gnawing fear deep inside that she might get well and that her disability checks would stop coming. Those checks afforded her the luxury to spend her days doing the things she enjoyed doing the most. Hers was a situation where her cancerous body allowed her an avenue to leave a job she despised and felt imprisoned by. She didn't have the fortitude to leave on her own. Instead, a deadly illness was her get-out-of-jail card. When the woman crossed over I was not convinced that cancer is what took her life, I feel it may have been her fears. Perhaps it was the physical body itself that she really wanted to leave behind.”

Every time I have put myself into situations I have not felt good about and have not pulled myself out of them in time or have believed I did not deserve any better, I would come down with an affliction or disease (dis-ease). I then went a step further and realized that whenever I was feeling as though I was not making any progress toward my positive goals and changes in life it was because I was feeling “stuck” in a rut, which is actually the cause of so many negative influences in our lives. This next article by Hannah McNamara entitled, “Are You Stuck In a Rut? Tips on Motivation and Breaking Free,” is amazing. She really leads you to identify how to break free of the feeling of being in a “rut” and how to identify it. When you realize things that are happening to you, i.e. bringing the subcounsious thoughts to the conscious mind, you can then take action toward correction and positive change:

How often do you leap out of bed excited about what the day will bring?
Do you know exactly what you'll be doing next week - because it's exactly the same as what you did this week? Could you be suffering from SIAR Syndrome?
It's the hidden syndrome that can leave you tired, listless and frustrated. It strikes down both the young and the old, the rich and the poor. Talked about in hushed tones with trusted confidantes, it's the affliction that leaves victims asking, "Why me?"


But for sufferers, there is light at the end of the tunnel because SIAR Syndrome can be avoided and its effects eliminated. If the following sounds familiar, you too could be a sufferer without even realising it: When your friends ask you what you're up to, do you reply with something along the lines of "Oh, you know, same old, same old"? If doing the same thing over and over again is making you happy, great! But if it's not, maybe now's the time to do something about it, because the chances are you've caught it -SIAR, or Stuck-In-A-Rut Syndrome.


Breaking out of a rut can be tricky. It can mean changing habits, making uncomfortable decisions and committing to doing things differently. But it can also be liberating, invigorating and you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner!


Whether you're stuck in a rut at work or in your personal life, it's worth bearing in mind this quote from well-known author and speaker on personal development, Anthony Robbins:


"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten."
How many times do we do the same things over and over again and expect to get different results? In business, we might, for example, keep doing the same Marketing we've always done, yet expect the results to be better than they were last time. In our personal lives, we might walk into the same set of circumstances we've had before, yet expect things to be better this time.


But there is something even worse than being a sufferer of SIAR Syndrome...being a carrier. You know the people I'm talking about, don't you? "That'll never work" and "play it safe" are some of their favourite sayings. Stuck in a rut themselves, they can't bear the thought that someone else might break free of it. But with so many people stuck in a rut, surely it should have some good points, shouldn't it?
Let's have a look at the Pro's and Con's of being stuck in a rut:


Pros:
  • It's comfortable
  • It doesn't take much effort
  • You know what to expect
  • It's easy to surround yourself with like-minded people
  • There's less chance of making a mistake

Cons:
  • It makes life boring and predictable
  • You feel that life is passing you by
  • It can leave you wondering where your life has gone
  • You could look back and wonder about the what-if's
  • It can be scary even thinking about breaking out

It's worth taking some time out to think about some idea of your goals both personally and professionally. Perhaps you've already got some plans in place setting out what you'll get done this year, next year and possibly for the next 5, 10 or 20 years.


Do any of them involve changing something? Do ALL of them involve changing something? Does it make you excited or nervous? A way to tackle nerves is to break the change down into its component parts to discover exactly what it is that's making you nervous. Sometimes nerves can kick in when you're doing something that you've never done before and that can lead to procrastination, one of the symptoms of SIAR syndrome. Once you know exactly what's making you nervous, dig deeper and ask yourself "what is it about xxxx that's making me nervous?" Then you'll be able to think about ways of overcoming it.
Interestingly enough, the same symptoms of nerves - shortness of breath, racing heart beat and thinking fast - are the exact same symptoms of excitement. It's all down to how you frame them in your mind. Next time you think you're nervous, tell yourself it's excitement and you'll make the experience a whole lot more enjoyable! You might even crack a smile!


Breaking out of a rut is a lot easier when you've got someone guiding you through it. Working with a life coach or business coach is a little like working with a personal trainer - your coach will motivate and push you to do more than you'd do alone. Plus, because they're outside of your normal circle of friends and contacts they can offer a fresh perspective on things. Break free!! Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/148577.”





Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

EVERYBODY STUMBLES...

You know how, when you're walking along in public and you stumble over something small or trip over your own feet, you quickly look around to see if anyone was looking? Yeah, we've all been there...right? Well that's the same feeling you can get when you are working toward your personal goals and people catch you stumbling. You tend to look around and see who, in your circle of friends and family, was looking. It can deter you from moving forward...if you let it.

We all stumble...that is a huge part of life. If we were getting it right all the time, day in and day out, there would be no point...we would cease to exist. The trick is not to let it deter you from reaching your goals. We all have goals and/or dreams and fantasies...things we wish would happen in our lives and that is the journey we are on every single day...even in the little ways that we take for granted or barely notice. But you have to be true to yourself and let no one get in your way or stop you from finding those dreams and reaching those goals. There is no blame and no shame involved...it's human nature. People who judge you usually do so out of jealousy/envy...but remember other peoples' opinions of how you live your life need not ever factor into your living it the way you want. Stay true to you and be grateful around every turn for every wonderful, amazing thing that happens in your life. You will find that more you express gratitude, the more wonderful things you will have in your life...miracle after miracle...abundantly.

You are human and from time to time you need encouragement...a little cheering squad if you will. Even if you are a life-coach, a counselor, a therapist or psychologist/psychiatrist, you still need someone to talk to when things aren't going according to plan in your life...you are alive and you occasionally need a cheering squad. Talking your problems out with someone you trust is pure gold. Trusting someone enough to share your secrets and aspirations is priceless.

Don't worry about who is looking when you stumble because you will...and so will they. It just doesn't matter. All that matters is that you get back up, smile like you meant to stumble and move ahead with confidence and a positive attitude. I know that when I remember that my life is so much smoother.


Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Monday, May 9, 2016

3 STEPS TO INNER PEACE...

When I was in my late teens, already driving in fact, I discovered Al-anon. For those of you who are unfamiliar, it is a branch of the twelve-step program, i.e. Alcoholics Anonymous, et. al. A meeting for people in families or relationships in which their loved ones are abusing alcohol or drugs. It was in my first meeting that I learned the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, COURAGE to change the things I can and the WISDOM to know the difference. I came to know these as the three things that could bring me inner peace in a New-York-minute. 

There are times in my life when things are going so smoothly that I forget that, as someone born with chemical depression, I have to practice my coping skills every day to keep it at bay or I start to lose them, and lately I had gone through a patch like that. This past weekend however, I was again reminded of the serenity prayer, and everything good and positive snapped right back into place. Here is how it speaks to me when I keep it front of mind:

1.  If you accept things as they come and learn to let go of the illusion of control and ask yourself each time you feel that things are not going your way in a situation, "How can I make this beneficial for me?" you will achieve SERENITY. This takes a lot of practice and diligence, but when you master this it will become a habit that will change your life for the better.

2.  When you know that you have the power to change things in your life and/or in other peoples' lives toward the positive and you go for it and actually make those changes or strides thereto, you have found COURAGE. Courage tells you that fear/worry is silly and pointless and that you can be anyone and anything that you want to be and you can be the positive difference in your life and in the lives of others.

3.  WISDOM is obtained by knowing the difference between the things that are within your power to change or those that you have to accept and work into your life because you do not have the power to change them. This may just be the most important step because it is this judgment alone that will grant you total serenity and therefore inner peace. Make this decision first and the rest will fall into place.

Are these things easy to learn? For some yes, but for others, not so much, but when you ask God and/or the universe to grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference, you shall receive them...all three. The important thing is to ask, but equally important you must be grateful for them when they are granted...along with each and every wonderful and positive thing in your life as you receive them.



Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

CAN YOU SPELL THAT PLEASE...

As someone who really loves to write and appreciates grammar, it amuses me so much when I see signs that either fail to get their point across or are just plain spelled wrong. I also love the pictures people post of their texts that went awry...stupid auto-correct...lol. I wanted to post these to bring a smile to your face as we can all relate to these.

Here's your sign (yes, I totally "borrowed" that line...lol):




These are the texts I found on Huffington Post.com:

I so hope these made you laugh as hard as I did. Too funny. 




Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

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