(c) Kimberly D. Miller
WHO ARE YOU...?
Don’t you love the expression, “I need to find myself”? Plenty of people poo-poo this phrase but let’s face it...it says it all. Something that is lost needs to be found. If you don’t know who you are, you are indeed lost. At some point though, when you feel this way, you start to wonder if maybe it’s an excuse. You think maybe you say this to yourself to put off committing to something else; anything else. Maybe the phrase itself is a set of ellipses as in, “I need to find myself…”, and maybe a “but” goes after the ellipses like a procrastination placemark.
Well, I can tell you from personal experience, this is all a lot of malarkey. Sure, there are a few stragglers who use it as an excuse to procrastinate, but it’s a real thing to need to find out who you are if you don’t already know, and that is a huge part of the journey in life.
A few lucky people automatically know who they are and what they want to do with their life from birth, and they do it. They are happy and very successful. I have always been jealous of those people. The majority of us however, think we know who we are at times, but it changes from moment to moment. I fall into the latter category, unfortunately.
People tend to judge us on what we do for a living (at least in our country they do), and really, is that fair? It’s like saying that because you are a doctor you are a good person with morals and values and the drive to get through the schooling and interning and that you care about being successful. Or like saying that because you work at a fast-food place, you have no drive or ambition and only work to pay the bills and therefore you must be a lazy person who lives on the lower, east side, doesn’t care about much and probably drinks all day. Puh-leez!!! Our society is constantly judging us and trying to keep us labelled and categorized.
Who you are is a unique, individual, amazing person like no other individual on the planet. What you choose to do for a living should only make you happy, not project an image for societal judging. You are SO much more than a job or career. Who you are is a person; a person with amazing, unique thoughts and ways of doing things. You can do what you want in life as long as you hurt no one, including yourself. Be the best you that you can be and as you figure out who that is, remember to think outside the box. Most people who are successful and happy have done so by thinking outside the box as opposed to living life as a societal sheep. They find out what makes them happy and find a way to make that work for them in all aspects of life. This in turn creates a ripple effect because when you love doing something and then want to share it, you can make it your job, your career, and your lifestyle. It can be what you make of it.
So the next time you start pondering the need to find yourself, remember that the definition of who you are is going to be multifaceted and the journey will often have you off on many paths at once. Be patient and go easy on yourself during the process. Pat yourself on the back around every corner and for each success. Buy yourself a drink when you’ve had a stumble. Being unique isn’t always an easy task, but you’ve got this!