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Wednesday, April 20, 2016

10 THINGS YOU MUST GIVE UP TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS AND BALANCE...

    10 THINGS YOU MUST GIVE UP TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS AND BALANCE...

    1. Limiting beliefs: One of the saddest things that Americas societal standards have done to us as we have matured and developed is that is has taught us to believe in limitations. “Know your limitations,” or “There is only so much to go around,” or “We barely eek out a living,” are sayings that I grew up with and total nonsense. If you believe you are limited...you will be...it's that simple. If you believe you can have it all and then go back for seconds and thirds and so on...you can. What you believe is what you manifest. Those of us who grew up with such limiting belief systems will have a tough time grasping this concept at first, I know I did, but then I got proof. Everything I told myself I could have, started falling right into my lap the minute I truly believed it could. This is still not an easy concept for me to manage daily as yet, but one I am working diligently on as it is so worth it. Part of the formula for success here, and the part that I believe to be key, is to know that you deserve it. You deserve to have abundance and wealth of anything and everything you desire. Abundance is everywhere...there is no real shortage of anything...that is a man-made concept and the universe will refute it every chance it gets...if you let it. Believe in yourself and your worth and you can manifest it all.


    2. Dwelling on the past: I've said it before and I will say it again, living in the past creates regret and depression. If you always think about what might have been you get depressed...if you think about sad and hurtful memories you get depressed...if you think about happy times that will never come again, you get depressed...if you think of things you didn't do or accomplish when you had the chance, you have regrets. None of these things are positive and none of them are healthy. Living in the here and the now is the only way to keep yourself positive and centered. You need to know that the past is past and should stay there...that the lessons you learned in the past are what got you here and that they were all necessary in your particular story for your unique path. Leave the past in the past and live in the moment.


    3. Worrying about the future: This is a sore spot with me because it is a trait of which I used to be a master. I learned from the best of the generations before me that worrying was what you did. Not just from the standpoint of being a concerned parent, etc., but that worrying was a part of everyday life and that it must be done. I have a very close friend (you know who you are) who worries if the wind doesn't blow in the right direction that day because the news report said that it would and she had plans that centered around the wind blowing in the particular direction that day (yes, this is exaggerated, but not by much). Worry is fear-based. It comes from fear of a lack of control. People who worry about everything tend to be people who need to have control over every little detail in their life (which comes from a lack of trust in anyone and anything) and the lives of those they care about. How exhausting is that! It is very exhausting as I know first-hand. First of all, people are capable of running their own lives as that is why they are here on the planet and in this realm...to run their own, individual, and unique lives. They don't need someone there planning out their details for them (and even if they did, it isn't the responsibility of one individual). Planning is such a buzz kill when it comes to life and love and romance and spontaneity and passion and excitement and humanity and joy and positivity. Yes, it's great to plan ahead for some details of a trip or something, but then again there is a lot to be said about just flying by the seat of your pants. I know the best stories I have are the ones in which spontaneity was the host of my particular party. All worry really accomplishes is to bring about the very result you are worried about because you draw it to you and manifest it with your negative thoughts, and to decrease your ease and cause you ill health or dis-ease. No good ever comes from worry. In fact, I've never heard anyone say, “Thank God Mary worried about me. I just know it wouldn't have worked out if she hadn't,” and there poor Mary sits with her accolades yes, but bed-ridden with her ulcer, high blood pressure and depression. Leave worry where it belongs...to the universe...to the heavens. Live in the here and now and let the future take care of itself...I guarantee you...IT WILL!!!


    4. Negative self-talk: All too often I hear friends of mine, even random strangers, putting themselves down. What is up with that? Do they not realize that they are every bit as wonderful as every other person on this planet? Do they not realize that they are every bit as worthwhile and special and unique and have something to add just by their very existence? Hmmm, I guess the answer here is no. How sad this is to me. This was yet another trait I used to curl up with in bed, but no more. Once I realized that I have so much to offer in my way and that I am just as valuable a human being as everyone else, I feel like I can do no wrong. When you mess up in life, as we will do all the time no matter whose standards we are not meeting, we tend to not only have others point out our faults, but we then follow through with the negative self-talk, i.e., “Yeah, you heard her, you screwed this up. Anyone else would have done it right. It doesn't matter that you have done everything right for the past three years with no mention, but now you've gone and screwed up this one thing. How can you be so stupid? I mean really, I thought you were better than that. Now you know what will happen...people will be mad at you. They might not even like you and you need everyone to like you or your world will fall apart. So dumb. I can't believe you could be so dumb. You should know better.” Really? You should know better than to have a moment in time in which you didn't live up to someone's expectations, including your own? Here's an idea...wouldn't it be great if we cut ourselves some slack? Try replacing that negative self-talk with something like this, “Wow, I didn't get that quite right according to (insert name here). I will pay more attention to that detail the next time and I will apologize if my mistake hurt anyone or caused them a problem in their work or lives. I learned a lesson though and now I know how to handle that properly going forward. Good job (insert your name here) on correcting the situation and cutting yourself some slack for being human. We all make mistakes.” No one is better than anyone else. The sooner you believe that the sooner you will flourish in life.


    5. The need to impress others: Why do people always want to impress other people? The answer? Because they don't impress themselves. Trying so hard to make other people notice you and like you is such a waste of time. People are going to like you if they do and they are not going to like you if they don't. No amount of effort on your part is going to change that, nor should it. There is a secret here that when learned, will take you all the way: love yourself and everyone around you will gravitate toward you. Show everyone that you don't need them and that you love who you are despite them, and they won't be able to help being incredibly drawn to your self-confidence. Impress yourself because in the long run, no one else's opinion or judgment of you matters.


    6. Complaining: Some people vent and some people complain. What is the difference you might ask? Intention. Venting is having someone listen to you while you work out a problem or situation...sort of thinking out loud with a human sound board near you and actually coming up with a solution or a path to a solution. Complaining on the other hand is the act of whining just for the sake of whining and not doing anything to work it out. “I don't like blah, blah, blah,” or “I feel blah, blah, blah,” or “I can't blah, blah, blah,” and then sit there moping about day after day, night after night without any effort on your part to change. You need to do the work to change the situation that makes you unhappy because complaining will get you nowhere...at all. This is a trait that you can turn around into positive results with a little effort and you will become centered when you give this up.


    7. The need to always be right: This has always been a huge part of who I am until a very close friend of mine told me a story one day about not having to be right. I was like, “Really? I don't have to prove that I am right in a situation? I thought I did. I always felt like I had to interject with something in the conversation that would prove I was right. What a lot of energy that entails. It turns out all I was really trying to do was to say, “Look at me...I know stuff...aren't I something.” This is definitely a cry for attention. Now, when confronted with situations in which I used to rush to be right I just say in my head (or sometimes out loud), “I don't need to be right...the situation is what it is and I know my part in it.” That's it. It changed my life and it will change yours too if you just let it go.


    8. Resistance to change: If there is one thing that is a certainty in this world it is this...change is imminent. Most people associate the word “change” with negativity. Change is not always bad, nor is it always good...it just is. All things, all people will change because everything in this realm is in flux. When you fight change you bring chaos, drama and negativity into your life. You push against it and try to keep everything the same when all that does is cause decay and rot inside of you...keeping you in the same situation, not moving forward...settling for what you think you deserve because there is nothing better. You want things to get better but your fear of the unknown causes you to push against change and try to keep it at bay. When you let in and welcome it as it comes, good or bad, right or wrong, in the moment, you reap the benefits of whatever that change is and you have the ability to interject positivity into it as it comes, which will always manifest the best possible outcome.


    9. Blaming others: Isn't it easier to blame everything that happens to us on other people? This is yet another pet peeve of mine. I literally cringe when I hear people say to me or someone else, “He/she made me mad (or sad or mean or cry or anxious or …).” No one can make you feel something you don't want to feel. “He/she broke my heart.” Really? Someone reached inside of your chest and literally broke your heart? Come on...not really. You are responsible for your feelings and you can choose to feel hurt or cry or be angry over a situation, but remember that you chose to feel that way and it was because of the decisions that you made, no one else made those decisions in your life, that put you in that situation in the first place. If you ever start a sentence with, “That/this isn't fair...” then you need to stop yourself right there. Fairness is a myth...a concept we create to tell ourselves that other people are at fault for us not feeling up to par with them. Why did so and so get the job I was working so hard to get? Because it was meant to be and no matter how it went down, there is no right or wrong in the situation, only what was. It sucks sometime and you may not consider it “fair”, but then again, if you don't take responsibility for the decisions you make and the outcomes of those decisions and you blame other people for how you feel or for what happens in your life, then you don't have to answer to yourself (the most critical judge in your world). The healthy thing to do here is to realize that things happen (the concept of accepting change) and your reaction to them is 99% of how it will affect you. Grasp that and you will be centered and happy. Happiness is a choice.


    10. The need for others' approval: If you are a people-pleaser you are going to need others peoples' approval of you to validate who you are. Why??? Why do you care? The only opinion that should ever matter to you is your own. Trying to please everyone else all the time is a marked sign of low self-confidence and self-esteem. It shows the people in your world that you are more concerned with their feelings because yours don't matter. You basically put out a Welcome mat that reads, “Walk all over me...It's okay...I don't matter.” Ouch! This used to be one of my favorite traits back in the day. I think I still have muddy footprints left on my back. It's one thing to be nice to other people at work, at home, in public or wherever, but you have to draw the line at being used. When you possess self-confidence you can say, “Sure I would be happy to stay at work and help you out, but I will need to be paid for that time,” or “I would love to help you with that work load, but let's do it tomorrow so we don't have to stay late. I have plans after work, etc.” In fact this is a great example...I just finished driving 7 hours today when I returned to work and my boss said, “Could you run this part over to the mill?” I was tired and it was right at quitting time for me, so I said, “Sorry, but no.” He then said, “It's over time if you will.” I did it for the over time and sure, from time to time I will do the odd favor at work, but not if it compromises who I am, my time or how I'm feeling. It just isn't worth it. I refuse to make myself sick over silly things like this anymore and you should too. You can still be nice without compromising your health or your life. You are worthwhile, just as they are, but if you look around you and notice that everyone in your life wants something from you because you will do it and you never say no, ask yourself if this is a good thing. You already know the answer. You have to eliminate negative users from your life. Care what YOU think, not what they think. It doesn't matter what they think and the word NO is your friend. If people don't “like you” or get mad at you or try to give you guilt over the fact that you said no, then how could you honestly say that these are real and genuine friends who care about you...merely for who you are and not what you can do for them. They are suckers who suck the generosity from you as much as they can. I eliminate suckers from my life and for me I am the better and so much more at ease with the people who are now in my life because first and foremost I don't care what they think of me and I know they are in my life because they love and care about me for who I am...not what I can do for them.



Eliminating all of these traits from your life may sound tough and even daunting at first, but doing so will bring happiness and balance into your life...a life that will equal no other...nor should it. Be unique (I love it when people call me weird...it is the greatest compliment I could ever receive and I always say thank you afterward...weird is unique). Love yourself because you are amazingly awesome!!!


Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Monday, April 18, 2016

KNOW FREEDOM BY THE SEAT OF YOUR PANTS...

(I'm the one on the far left holding the rail...woo hoo)

What do people want most out of life in general besides being loved? Freedom. We all want to be free to think, act, and be, as we desire. This is a problem however, for some.

There is an old expression that goes, "Fly by the seat of your pants." In other words in order to know freedom you need to just let things happen and occur and live them one moment at a time, spontaneously. I adore spontaneity...I literally thrive on it these days and, although I have my moments where I plan things out in life, my most fulfilling enjoyments and pleasures are always spontaneous. 

Control, or rather lack thereof, is the key. People with control issues want to plan everything out...all the time. They literally want to live life according to a "script," if you will. Sure, at times that will bring you the desired, albeit expected outcome, but really, in the long run, what fun is that? Where is the fun in predictability? Needing to have the illusion of control is fear-based. When you live in fear, you need control and you need to know that every moment is accounted for and will turn out the way you want them to. When you live in faith you live in the moment and let things happen as they may. You experience miracles and blessings, so many and so fast that you can hardly keep track of them. How do I know this? I know this because I have been, most of my life, one of those control-issue people. About a year and a half ago, I cut bait and let go. I literally took one of the largest leaps of faith I have ever taken and it turned out better than I could have ever planned. I still have my control-issue days from time to time, but then I sit myself down and have a talk with myself and remind myself that the days filled with faith and the days I truly let go and let things happen as they will, are the freest, happiest days of my life and I feel that joy to the very depths of my heart and soul. 

Learning to stay positive is not easy, especially if you weren't raised that way, but it's not impossible...I'm proof of that. Still, I have my hard days where I have to literally kick my own butt all day just to keep positive, but because I now have those coping skills (I'm not fond of the term "coping skills" because I would rather thrive than cope), I manage it. My parents were pretty negative thinkers and my mother was the most skilled worrier I ever knew. She taught me everything I knew about worrying, and her mother taught her, and so on and so on. I was so sad for her that she lived with so much fear all the time, but I didn't know how to help her back then. I often think that it was necessary for me to be raised by negative thinkers because without knowing that side of life, I really couldn't fully grasp the concept of positive thinking and a positive, spontaneous lifestyle the way I do now. I finally understand that the more gratitude I feel, nay express for the beautiful blessings in my life, i.e. freedom and spontaneity to name but two, the more I receive, and I am so grateful for the positive and wonderful things and people in my life right now. Besides the birth of my amazing son, I have never been as blessed and soul-wrenchingly happy as I am today.

People who worry live in a fear-based projection of the future...they do not live in the here and now, in the daily gift of life that we are given, which is the ultimate waste of time. We are here to live each day, not worry about the next, which by the way, we don't even know if we are going to get another one so by living in fear of the future, we aren't really living at all. What they are essentially accomplishing with this fear-based projection is a certain failure of good health and thereby a body filled with dis-ease (disease). 

Flying by the seat of your pants is something that very few individuals practice, but I highly recommend it to everyone. Know the joy and wonderment of spontaneity and freedom and throw caution to the wind where it belongs. Live in the moment...be who you are and love your life...it's the only one you are going to get and if you let go, the life you want to live will flow right to you.





Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Saturday, April 16, 2016

UNDERSTANDING WOUNDOLOGY...

Someone I consider to be the absolute most intuitive motivational speaker on God's green earth is Caroline Myss. If you have never heard of her, believe me she is well worth discovering. Caroline speaks about "woundology." This is a term that I was elated to discover years ago because it was the sole factor that began to steer my life toward positivity.

Do you know people who fit the term "victim?" Not in the sense that something bad happened to them, but in the sense that the one or more bad thing(s) that did happen to them is what they use to define themselves? They use thousands of excuses as to why they cannot accomplish things or begin to heal because (insert incident here), Not only do I know many people that fit this description, but I also used to be their queen. I had so many bouts of PTSD and depression from... the huge earthquake, the rape, the loss of my soul mate, the loss of my mother and best friend, the abuse, the alcoholism...and the list goes on. I used to meet people and automatically let them know all of these things about me for what, I can only assume, was a way to gain immediate attention and sympathy. Let's face it, we all want to be liked/loved and when you approach life from the standpoint of being a victim, you feel that sympathy is a form of love and one that can be gained quite quickly...even from strangers. Caroline tells this story of a friend she introduced to some people she was meeting for lunch and this friend, within 3 minutes of being introduced, let these strangers know that she was an incest victim, among other things. When she confronted the woman about why she did that she replied that she was an incest victim. Caroline agreed and told her yes, that she knew and understood that, but also told her that those 2 men didn't need to know that, nor was it healthy for her to define herself as such.

It is amazing how, as humans, we seek people to like/love us, when the obvious answer is to just love ourselves. When we approach life as victims, we think the world owes us something...quite a lot actually. We think that everyone who meets us should feel bad for us and want to help us. We feel that we should be treated "fairly" at all times because, as you know, life is fair...NOT! Wanting life to be "fair" will only cast you into circumstances that, if you could change them would make you gloriously happy but you don't, just because you feel that it is what you deserve or because you are a people-pleaser and afraid that people either won't like you or will become upset with you. If this is the case for you, then I am so very sad to tell you that you are not now, nor have you probably ever, lived your life. You get this one shot at it and instead of making yourself happy first and thereby everyone else in your life who cares about you, you waste your time on pleasing everyone else first and to hell with your needs. Life is what you make it and if you make it about everyone else then I ask you this, is it really even your life, because you aren't even living it for you.

Life is a series of events and it is how we react to and process these events that defines who we are. We term them either good or bad...difficult or easy...happy or sad, etc. At some point, if we want to learn to live life rather than just expect people to react to us on the basis of sympathy, we need to understand that we are cuddling up with woundology and that we need to let it go. We need to find another perception of our lives and understand that who we are is not defined by what happens to us, but rather by how we deal with what happens to us. For example, I have a lot of friends who have been raped (including myself) and they are split down the middle...half of them are still victims from it, even though for many it has been so many years ago, and the other half are survivors, which is what I finally became. Having lived both sides of the coin there I can honestly say that I feel I wasted a lot of time living as a victim. Yes that bad thing happened to me, but having let it go and moved on I am able to help others who have been through it to let go and feel like a total survivor. I don't base decisions on having been raped and I don't not do things in my life because of it.

If you should be one thing in your life, it is honest with yourself. Life is so short and if you are constantly lying to yourself about who you are and how you approach life, you are never going to know yourself. You will always solicit sympathy from others and use your hard times as excuses why you "can't" accomplish or deal with something. You might even use others as your excuse to not face new challenges, ideas, hopes, dreams and aspirations...i.e. so and so is ill and I have to be there for him/her, or so and so can't function in life without me, etc. oey! You need to live for you...though it may sound selfish it doesn't have to be. You can be the loving, giving and caring person you want to be, but with the understanding that your needs, wants and desires must first be met. It's okay to say NO. When you love yourself first and keep yourself happy first and foremost, you will then be able to help others on the simple basis of wanting to help them...that's all. Not because you want to be the hero or the reliable one no one can live without, but because you want to help and then move on.

The past is past and it should remain there. Moving forward brings new hope, new ideas, new circumstances, new people and new situations and each new day wipes the slate clean to make a new start. Approach life as a survivor and honor each new day, each new clean slate, for the beautiful gift it is...a new beginning.

I have posted this amazing video of Caroline Myss. I hope you will find her as wonderful as I do.


Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

PROCRASTINATION IS NOT YOUR FRIEND...

I will never understand why people, who hate stress in their lives, wait until the last minute to accomplish everything. I come across this in all three of my jobs and, being the opposite type of person, I just don't get it. I hear, "I need it yesterday," or "I've known about the project for months but I just now decided on what I wanted,"...wow...then I hate to bear this bad news but stress is something you are snuggling up to in bed. Watch this video...she makes an awesome point about procrastination and how it does nothing for you in the long run.  Thank you, Alexi.



Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

YOU CAN LIVE IT TRUE...

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about the complexity, but the necessity to do the work when you want to make positive changes in your life entitled The Key to the Reward is the Work Involved and today I received this video from my Origami Owl mentor, Wendy. Thank you Wendy...what divine timing that this video came along to help convey this message to those whose lives it can touch. 

I hope it will strike a chord in you and inspire you to take whatever action you need to effectuate the changes you want to see in your life...before it's too late. You can do anything and be anything you want in this life...but you must take the first step (which will most likely be the most difficult one) and walk down the path to get the work done. You will gain your life back...I promise!


Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Sunday, April 3, 2016

DO YOU FEEL THIS?...

 (c) 2016 Kimberly's Kreations

Did you ever FEEL too much?  I mean REALLY feel ~ all the way to the deepest depths of your soul…get so far down into the abyss of yourself that you literally become lost.  Did you ever want so desperately to know who you are that you are willing to dive into the black sea of emotions whose very horizon threatens your sanity every waking moment? Some people call it over-thinking or over-analyzing, but how can thinking or analyzing ever be in excess?  Sometimes we do it to the point that we just need to take a break and get out of our own heads, but we all, at some point or other, think about our mortality, the meaning of life, etc.
  
I am a lesbian, a writer and an artist. I feel that those are the three main things about me that define me. They say that artists teeter on the fine line between insanity and reality and each day that I am blessed with a clean slate in the morning, I realize that to be fact by the sun’s descent.  My own personal abyss used to cause me great depression and a very negative view of life in general.  Now, that I’ve grown and evolved with it, I am enamored by the myriad of layers which are all parts of me.  I can very much understand why people have multiple personality disorders.  It’s as though they cannot deal with all of the layers rolled into a united front ~ like the layers don’t make sense as a whole, but as separate entities, i.e. the feminine side, the masculine side, the musical side, the angry and happy sides, artistic side, sane side, crazy side, inhibited side…well, you get where I’m going here.  This is not new….far from it.  Exploration of these very depths have driven people mad as far back as you can imagine.  Leonardo Da Vinci comes right to mind. 

There is a soliloquy from Macbeth in which his wife wants to rectify the dire situation at hand and she prays, “Come, you spirits that tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here and fill me from the crown to the toe top-full of direst cruelty!  Make thick my blood; stop up the access and passage to remorse, that no compunctious visitings of nature shake my fell purpose nor keep peace between the effect and it!  Come to my woman’s breast and take my milk for gall, you murdering ministers, wherever in your sightless substances you wait on nature’s mischief…”  The words are eloquent, yet a bit hard to understand in present society where such beautiful language has been torn asunder and twisted into the lazy colloquialisms we know today.  Loosely translated she is saying, “…Come down to me spirits and bring my mortal thoughts to fruition – take away my femininity (unsex me) and fill me from top to bottom with the worst cruelty and hatred known to man so that I feel no remorse or pity as it would be natural for me to do so.  Thicken my blood so my body will prevent these natural feelings of pity and remorse.  Drink poison from my breasts where there once was milk, killing you instead of nurturing you.” 

We all FEEL deeply sometimes, yet some of us are willing to go deeper than others…some of us are willing to strap on ankle weights and literally sink to the bottom of the muck…if there is a bottom, or risk sinking forever into the black abyss of nothingness. 
I write in my journal because I feel things SO deeply and because if I didn’t I’m pretty sure my soul would explode.  I love the lyrics in the song, “Breathe”, by Anna Nalick that go, “…2 a.m. and I’m still awake, writing a song…If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to…and I feel like I’m naked in front of a crowd cause these words are my diary screaming out loud and I know that you’ll use them however you want to…”  That’s how I feel most of the time.  It’s as though she is saying, “I’m putting it out there because I want to and no matter how you interpret them or use them, you can’t hurt me because I don’t care what other people think of who I am.”  I don’t care about others’ views of me and how I live my life.  If I want to convey or reveal an emotion to the world, or everyone in my local world, even raw passion, then I will.  I’m always being judged for being “too open” which I have decided is a compliment from people too jealous and closed off to show others who they really are.  Those who hide from the world in fear.  I've also been labelled weird, twisted, stupid, and a freak and, to me, all compliments.  

Yes I FEEL and feeling is a form of passion.  My poor mother, most of her life, was riddled with fear that someone might ever learn that there was a passionate side of her that she kept shackled under lock and key.  The black waves of depression would nearly drown her from time to time because of it, but she always found the shore again and could wrap herself back in her shiny plastic wrap so the world could see the reflection of the image she wanted them to see.  Inside the plastic she believed the darkness she lived with could not escape. My heart always bled for her because of this and it was the sole source of any or all of our misunderstandings with one another from time to time.

So many people are living in plastic wrap and, for a time when I was young, I was too.  Don’t be afraid to FEEL to the darkest depths of your soul and put it out there for all to see.  Ask yourself, “What will others think of me if…” and then answer, “Who cares what they think!”  Will your world end if it’s a negative comment about you?  People in your life who know you and know the deepest parts of you and don’t run away, now those are REAL friends and you know this because you have shown them every part of you and they are still there.  I will always be me ~ unique, one-of-a-kind, bearing no resemblance to my neighbor, and always laying my shit bare, no matter or likes it...or not. I hope you will find the courage to do the same.


Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

TO KNOW OR NOT TO KNOW…THAT IS THE QUESTION…

(Photo courtesy of Pinterest)
 
To know or not to know…we are curious creatures, both in the sense that we are interesting and unpredictable, as well as curious about everything. I remember an episode of the Dick Van Dyke Show entitled, “The Curious Thing About Women,” in which Laura could not contain herself when it came to unopened mail and packages that were addressed to her husband. She eventually labeled herself a, “pathological snoopy nose,” which I thought was a great term.

Curiosity, although it “killed the cat,” is in all of us. We all want to know what is in the box we are not allowed to open for one reason or another (hence “peeking” at Christmas time). We all want to know what is going on in our neighbors’ or friends’ lives or yards. We all want to know who is on the other end of the phone when someone we are with is talking on the phone, or texting.

In general no harm usually arises from the small curiosities we have…but it can arise when becomes so great we aren’t able to contain our curiosity and therefore respect one another’s privacy. It is the core of gossip, jealousy, paranoia, speculation, anxiety and just plain nosiness.

As I have mentioned in many a post that I love the phrase, “It’s none of my business,” because it helps me keep that curiosity at bay. We need to try to live just in the moment and, although this is really hard for some of us, like everything else, practice makes perfect. We are so curious about what the future will bring and what will happen tomorrow or next week or next month or year. It’s good to plan in some areas of your life, but anything beyond that becomes worry or “outlining” and is an issue of control.

Try to catch yourself when your thoughts and/or actions venture into someone else’s business without their permission to keep from creating “drama” in your life and practice living in the moment when you catch your thoughts roaming into future moments. Keep them in the here and the now and bring them into your conscious mind so you can change the way your subconscious automatically processes them. Once you master this technique in just these two areas, you will realize how much calmer and centered you feel and how your life has little to no drama on a daily basis.



Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Friday, March 25, 2016

MAY I QUOTE YOU...

Anyone who knows me knows that I love quotes. I love searching for them, quoting them, comprising them, etc. What are quotes anyway but a few beautiful words of wisdom? I love to take the quotes that really speak to me and use them in my art. I recently constructed a large “Dream Board” in which I utilized several of my favorite quotes as they are generally things I strive for in my own life. 

As I was surfing the net  today I happened to discover some more wonderful gems at www.Lifehack.org, entitled “10 Funny Life Quotes, That are Surprisingly Profound,” by Vincent Nguyen.These are awesome…and so true:  


1. “Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you.  Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.” –Murphy’s Law


2. “Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.”  -Mignon McLaughlin


3. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” -Brian Gerald O’Driscoll


4. “The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.”  -Erma Bombeck

5. “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather, who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” -Will Rogers


6. “Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.” -Unknown


7. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” -Zig Ziglar


8. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.” -Abraham Lincoln


9. “Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead.” -Bill McGlashen


10. “Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.” –Unknown.

I also found another article at Lifehack.org entitled, “30 of The Best Quotes Ever,” by Krissy Bradywith the following dos and don’ts:

“Do your own thing on your own terms and get what you came here for.”
-Oliver James

“Flatter yourself critically.”
-Willis Goth Regier

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway.”
-Eleanor Roosevelt

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
-Mark Twain

“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”
-Mahatma Gandhi

“Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.”
-Cyril Connolly

“We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.”
-Virginia Satir

“Don’t look for society to give you permission to be yourself.”
-Steve Maraboli

“If things go wrong, don’t go with them.”
-Roger Babson

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.”
-Kurt Cobain

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”
-Chinese Proverb

“Where’s your will to be weird?”
-Jim Morrison

“Some people say you are going the wrong way, when it’s simply a way of your own.”
-Angelina Jolie

“Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.”
-Joss Whedon

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
-Theodore Roosevelt

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
-Oscar Wilde

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am.”
-Sylvia Plath

“There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
-Anaïs Nin

“To find yourself, think for yourself.”
-Socrates

“If you seek authenticity for authenticity’s sake you are no longer authentic.”
-Jean Paul Sartre

“If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.”
-David Carradine

“When one is pretending the entire body revolts.”
-Anaïs Nin

“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.”
-Dodinsky

“Do what you must,
And your friends will adjust.”
-Robert Brault

“Just let awareness have its way with you completely.”
-Scott Morrison

“We must be our own before we can be another’s.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“This above all: to thine own self be true.”
-William Shakespeare

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
-Dr. Seuss

“Imitation is suicide.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I hope that any or all of these will inspire you. What are your favorite quotes?



Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

I JUST CAN'T DO IT...

(c) 2016 - Kimberly's Insanity
(I took this picture of the bridge in Bridge, Oregon, on our way back from the retreat this past weekend. Isn't it beautiful...)

Whenever my grandma asked me to do something and my response was,  "I can't, " she would always come back with, "Can't never could. ..but do it anyway. "  I loved my grandma. ..she was such a force to be reckoned with.

There are so many ways to use the word "can't," most of them negative. I say most of them because there are times it actually applies to a situation. I have brought two of the ways up for discussion in the following paragraphs, but if you think of more that would apply, please leave them in the comments section as I would love to compile a list of them.

I find it interesting that more often than not, when we don't want to do something as per someone else's request or suggestion,  our response is usually, "I can't," instead of honestly responding with, "I don't want to." There are times when we have a prior commitment and honestly can't do something in the particular time slot in question and sure, sometimes, in order to spare someone's feelings, we find it necessary to bend the truth, but when we do this we are not only being disingenuous to others, but to ourselves as well. ..that's not good. When you develop full and total integrity in your life,  you make a promise to be honest with yourself and with those people in your life who matter.  For example, if someone asked me to go and do something after work and I didn't really want to for whatever reason, I would thank them for the offer of inclusion but would gracefully decline on the basis that it wasn't something I wanted to do. Believe me. ..your real friends will always understand.

Whenever you use negative phrases, you bring negative results into your life and this particular phrase limits you from believing in yourself. Every time you say you can't do something you put it out into the universe that you can't and then guess what happens. ..you can't. ..  The really sad part here is that you do have it in you to do the thing you said you couldn't do, but now you have convinced yourself that you can't and it stops you in your tracks...every. ..single. ..time. This brings to mind a situation in which I hear this all the time. I work in a craft store on the weekends and I always hear these talented women say, "I can't do that, I'm not good at that," or "I can't, I don't know how to do that," or "I can't learn that," (which is the worst one of all because you literally CAN learn anything you want to learn and DO anything you want to do and achieve everything you set your mind to). This is where being honest with yourself will bring about positive changes. 

The best thing you can do for yourself is to eliminate the automatic "can't" from your vocabulary and really think about how you answer yourself and others. If you don't want to do something, say you don't want to do it and don't use the word "can't" as an excuse. It isn't a crutch, but most people use it that way. Always answer yourself with total honesty and eliminate the fear of coming to terms with who you really and truly are, inside and out. 

Positive self-talk will have you doing things you never thought possible...just remember to always say, "I can, " and you will be able to. ..every.. .single.. .time.. .in every.. .situation. 


Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Monday, March 21, 2016

ORIGAMI OWL...

I must apologize for the lapse in posts...I have been gone since last Thursday to a retreat with the featured artist and a dear friend until last night. I had SO much fun and in the meantime became a distributor for Origami Owl. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this company and I hope you will check out my new website for the distributorship at:

kimberlyskarmicbling.origamiowl.com



I promise by the weekend to have more posts us and running and thank you so much for following me...you are all so awesome!!!


Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Monday, March 14, 2016

DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO MAGIC??? 3 STEPS TO TEACH YOURSELF TO MANIFEST...

(c) Kimberly's Insanity

Having been fortunate enough to have grown up in the 60's and 70's, I got to watch first-run shows of series like Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie. Those of you who grew up watching these shows a well (or have watched them since in syndication) know the deep desire to have been able to perform magic as easily as Jeannie or Samantha. One day, not so long ago, it hit me...we can and we do...often.

The power of manifestation is just that...a power...a magic, if you will. When you use positive thoughts and phrases in your everyday life, right down to your subconscious mind, you create your reality...literally. People often mistakenly think that life just happens as you go along but what most people don't realize is that life is a product of what you do, what you say, what you think and how you view things. An example of this would be the person who complains regularly about how hard his/her day is...every day...the same complaint after work, first thing in the morning and all throughout the day be it verbally or by thought. This person is going to have a hard day every day because, through this constant thought, he/she manifests the hard part of it. The person who goes through life always thinking and saying to others that he/she/life isn't fair, will always feel like they are being treated unfairly. By the same token, the person who goes through each day thinking that life is awesome, answering the question, "How are you?" with positive answers like, "Great," "Awesome," "Wonderful," etc., is the person who is always going to be great, awesome, wonderful, etc...the one who takes things in stride...never seems to get sick and always has a sunny disposition.

How is this magic you might ask? Think about a t.v. show or movie in which a person is learning to use his or her powers. A couple of very important factors in learning these skills are deep focus and concentration, not to mention intent. For instance, I am trying to learn positive thought in such a way that it eventually comes naturally to all aspects of my life. In training myself to do so however, I have to have conscious thought, concentration and focus and train myself to slow down, evaluate each thought I have before I react. This may sound like a tough thing to do, not to mention tedious, but in the beginning, when you are learning a new behavior, it is necessary to bring it on slowly and bring it constantly into your conscious mind so that it takes and then embeds itself into your subconscious mind. Once that happens you won't have to think about it so much, if at all, because like all habits it will become natural behavior. 

When you want to learn this magic and manifest good and positive changes in your life, remember to practice these three, important steps:

1.  Identify the changes you want to make;

2.  Focus and concentrate on bringing the thoughts and patterns you wish to change to your conscious mind;

3.  React slowly and methodically each time a situation presents itself in the area you wish to change.

Once you get the hang of this, it's the truest form of magic you will ever know.






Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

7 WAYS TO BUILD TOLERANCE...

(c) 2016 Kimberly's Insanity

Tolerance is one of those necessary skills to have in your arsenal of coping skills because, let's face it, we can't always pick the people we spend time with (i.e., work, public settings, etc.), and we can never pick who we are related to. Tolerance, as defined by Oxford Dictionaries, is, "The ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with." 

The important thing about learning tolerance is this...without it we end up feeling frustrated, unsettled and often angry at people and situations that are beyond our understanding and control. As humans, we are wired to need people in order to feel alive and whole, (which is why solitary confinement at prisons, etc., is a punishment, not a reward) and we generally choose who we want to spend quality time with and who we want in our personal lives (outside of family of course). Do we always get along with the people in our lives who we work with, ride the bus with, stand in line with, etc? No. Often times we become frustrated by others' habits and opinions because they just don't mesh with our views or the way we do things. We get frustrated by the person at work who always has to prove he/she knows everything and has to be right all the time, or the person in one of our circles who has to control everything, or the martyr who thinks life never treats them fairly and has to complain all the time, or the person who judges everyone and everything around them quite vocally, to name but a few. 

Life is not a competition and one person is not better than another...we are all good at different things and the trick is to value a person for who he/she is and to cherish those traits that make us different from one another, especially in those who frustrate us the most. We need to find the good and positive aspects and remember that we all have these things in common...we are here, we share the same planet, we have the same basic goals, and we will die...counting the similarities, the things we have in common, is the best place to begin to learn tolerance. Below are some other suggestions to help you build tolerance skills:

1.  It's none of your business. Memorize the phrase, "It's none of my business," as your go-to phrase. This will keep you free from becoming involved in other peoples' situations that don't have anything to do with you and thereby shield you from outside stress. In this way you will build tolerance for people and situations that would otherwise annoy you.

2.  Come from a place of love. When confronted with situations and people that create stress and/or drama, remember that we are all here on the same planet, struggling through as best we can to make life wonderful and find the meaning of it all. We have so much in common and if you approach these situations and people from a place of love and empathy, you will create harmony...it can't be helped.

3.  Don't sweat the small stuff. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our day-to-day grind that we lose sight of the truly important things in life. Remember to put things in perspective when you feel a lack of tolerance and don't sweat the small stuff. Life is so much more than work and money. It's about love and helping one another through it all.

4.  Remind yourself of who you are. When confronted with a person for whom you feel little tolerance, remind yourself that you have a back story...and so do they. Everyone was raised differently and approaches life in different ways, usually based on their circumstances. We have to keep these things in mind when dealing with others and it makes it easier to tolerate.

5.  Don't judge. You have the right to your opinions, which are best if they are based on facts, not presupposition, rumor and gossip, but by judging others you are in some way telling yourself that you are "better" than they are which makes it harder to tolerate people. Remember that you and this other person/people may have many differences, but one is no better than the other and when you judge others, you basically just point a finger at yourself that says, "look at me, I judge people and I'm better than they are." This never makes a good impression, nor does it ever bring good and positive karma back to you.

6.  Remember there is no such thing as "fair." If you think life and everyone and everything in it should treat you fairly, you will be frustrated and angry all the time, not to mention let down. Things are what they are, they are what they will be and they are that way for a reason. Learn to let go and accept the changes that come your way and learn to view them in a positive way. Turn the negatives into positives and let everything else fall away. 

7.  Treat others the way you want them to treat you. It is a fact that the way you treat others is the way you will be treated in life. If you give love, you will receive love; if you treat people with disrespect, you will not be respected; if you judge people and talk about them behind their backs, they will do the same to you; if you help others, you will receive help; if you lash out at people, they will lash out at you...and so on and so on. You can't go wrong treating people with kindness, love, respect and consideration because believe me, it will come back to you tenfold.

I hope you will find this list helpful and if not, that you will find what works for you and practice tolerance and love with those around you...for your sake. You deserve love...make sure it's all you receive.



Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

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