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Sunday, October 2, 2016


Today, while having lunch with a very, very dear friend, and discussing the varietal aspects of life, we touched on the subjects of fairness and reality. We were in total agreement that there is no such thing as “fairness” in life...or the people in it treating you fairly...other than your own expectations. I could easily say that things in my own life aren't “fair” because I can't be with the woman I fell in love with and very much want to spend the rest of my life with. Do I wish that I could? Do I wish that things could be different? Do I wish that she would fight for us to be together and fall in love with me again? Absolutely because I have never been able to get her out of my heart and therefore my mind, but am I willing to stop living and give up on my dreams and my integrity because life isn't “fair?” Absolutely not. There are things you cannot change and there are things you can.

Your focus and your energy should be used wisely to change the things you can because we all have a limited amount of time in which to do so and wasted time, time spent negatively, is something you will never get back. I often hear people say, “That's not fair,” or “She/he isn't fair,” but your definition of “fair,” will not often...if ever, be the same as someone else's version of “fair.” Change is tough and when we enter new situations and encounter new people, we generally go into those situations with hope...hope that everything will work out positively and for the best and so we develop a set of expectations for the situation involving those particular people. When things don't go the way we want them to, we then feel that things or people aren't “fair.” I think this sense of fairness comes from insecurity...a sense of entitlement that we feel we deserve because life isn't working out the way we wanted/or planned. I think when you have profound integrity, a “fair” sense of self, people in and around you will know you well enough to know that because you treat yourself with respect and fairness, that they will too.

Ultimately everything we see in ourselves is what others see in us. Our souls are reflective and sometimes we don't like what we see in others' views of us because the truth can be tough to face, but when we do face it we can make the positive changes that need to be made and life will begin again.

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