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Tuesday, September 1, 2015

SMILE...IT'S MENTAL PAUSE...


Most people call it menopause, but I use the term, "Mental Pause," because for me it has created more "blonde" moments than I had during even my pregnancy. It has however, brought the real me to surface, someone I now embrace, love and enjoy spending time with.  I love to laugh and I do it as often as possible so, on this subject I found a plethora of funny quotes and stories to share...these are great 
and I hope they make you smile:

“It all makes sense now!
I never looked at it this way before:
MEN tal illness
MEN strual cramps
MEN tal breakdown
MEN opauseGUY necologist…and when we have real trouble, it’s a HIS terectomy. Ever notice how all of women’s problems start with men?”
  • Don't think of it as hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.
  • I don't have hot flashes, I have short, private vacations in the tropics.
  • I don't want to brag or make anyone jealous but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
  • I'm not 40-something, I'm 39.95 plus shipping and handling.
  • Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
  • Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
  • Riddle: What's the difference between a terrorist and a menopausal woman? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

The good news about mid-life is that the glass is still half-full, the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear end without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and realize that it is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless on film.

In mid-life you are still a HOT babe, but now it comes in flashes.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream "Listen honey, even the Roman Empire fell, and those will, too!"

Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked.

Mid-life brings with it the wisdom to know that life throws us curves and you're sitting on your biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you start to repeat yourself and your chins follow suit.

Mid-life is when you realize that if you were a dog, you'd need a control top flea collar.

Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenage and think: "For this I have stretch marks??"

Mid-life is when you bounce (a lot), but you don't bounce back. (It's more like Splat!)


Even if you aren't going through "the" change... life is change and change is best met with laughter and a positive outlook.  Smile and laugh as often as possible and you will enjoy life to its fullest.


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