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Showing posts from December, 2009

DEPRESSION SHMESSION

What is depression anyway!  To examine the meaning of a word, I usually try to find the root of that word; in this case, depress.  Hmmm, to depress is to push something down, to keep something down, or in the emotional sense, keep happiness and positivity down, at least, that is how it appears to me.   I often hear people say, "Just get over it.  If you think happy, you will be happy."  Okay, so I say to myself, "Voila- you are happy."  Strange, but my sudden realization of happiness eludes me.  I feel no overwhelming sensation to smile, no emotional euphoric bathing, not even the urge to giggle.  So I think, "Damn, I must be doing this wrong.  Okay okay, let's try again.  You are happy.  Think happy thoughts."  I try for several minutes and again, I'm just not getting that instant gratification, which I look for in so many areas of life.  I wonder if it's supposed to be instantaneous.  Maybe there is a set amount of time to wait before the

BLOG AWARD

Much to my surprise today I received a blog award from: Home Office Furniture which you can view at: http://homefurnituredepot.net/blog_awards/index.php?id=2241 Thank you Home Office Furniture for this award and exposure and I hope the exposure on my blog will show my appreciation.

FLOUNDERING

Have you ever heard people who are missing a limb comment that they can still feel it? Like it's still there and sometimes it itches or tingles? I have decided that that is the best way to describe the way I feel right now. My mother's battle with cancer came to an end last week. Guess who won! So much a part of my everyday life involved either calling her, going by her house, having her over to spend the night and/or going on trips together. Now that she is gone it's as though I can still feel here there. I started to go to her house the other day and I've picked up the phone twice to call her. While I am sure that my behavior is quite within the norm, it feels quite abnormal. I am floundering all over the place, wondering day to day where I should be, who I can talk to and what I'm going to do without my best friend in my life. I just realized how grateful I am that I write. It is the one area of my life that gives me clarity. No matter what I am going

LIFE? IN THE DESERT?

Having been fortunate to grow up on the beautiful Northern, California coastline, and then having to have made the transition to the southwest desert life (because my move here was not necessarily my choice), has been quite an arduous adjustment, I must say. As you know, if you read my blog, I am an avid photographer. Since relocating to the desert I have enjoyed the challenging exploration for interesting landscape images, and it was during one of my recent explorations that I began questioning how life in the desert (any desert) first emerged. Where I grew up the ocean was on one side of us and redwood forest on the other. Green was rampant, which was great as it is my favorite color. Cool days and clean air filled my senses and beautiful scenery filled my soul. As I made my journey to the far south, three-year-old son and U-Haul in tow, I began to notice vast sparsity emerging the further south I traveled. Recently, I guess I've just been very analytical these days, I