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Sunday, January 24, 2016


Do you ever want things to happen in your life but you just don't know how to go about making them happen? Do you ever say things like, "My life would be so great if _____ would happen?" I love this quote by Steve Jobs: “For the past 33 years I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself, 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' And whenever the answer has been NO for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.” Look how successful he is in all areas of his life today, simply because he asked himself that question every morning and then had the courage to take the risks and chances to effectuate the changes he wanted in his life. He didn't sit around the house saying, “I can't do this or I can't do that.” He knows, like each and every one of us knows (if not only in our subconscious minds), that we CAN make the changes we want to see in our lives and that absolutely EVERYTHING is possible.

So, that being said, you might now be asking the question, “How can I make the changes I want in my life if I haven't been able to so far?” That is a great question and, while there is no one, quick answer, I have posted a list of steps you can take to attract the things you want in your life below:

Step 1: Be grateful. Being grateful for the things you have and for who you are goes a long way in attracting more of the same. You can either thank God or thank the universe or thank yourself, but thank someone with not only your words, but your actions. If you are the kind of person who enjoys helping others then continue to help others in more profound ways to show your gratitude for this gift you have received. If you are thankful for the positive people in your life, show your gratitude, if not only to yourself, by keeping only positive, happy people in your life and weeding out the others. No good can come from keeping people in your life who have done nothing but drain you for years on end. There comes a time when you absolutely have to “cut bait” and move on.

Step 2: Decide who you are living for. Are you living your life for you or are you living it for everyone else? If you take stock of your life and find out that you are doing so many things for other people and not enough for yourself, then those people are living your life...not you. You are not enjoying the ride that was meant for you. It's wonderful, even noble, to be a person who loves to help other people, but not at the expense and sacrifice of yourself. Being a martyr is way overrated. It is okay to say “no” to other people (in a nice way, of course), nay it is your duty, because if you never say no, you never have time for yourself...if you never have time for yourself then you are not living your life. I don't mean just in the way of pampering yourself physically, (trips to the spa, massages, nail salon...although those are nice), I mean give yourself the gift of self, of allowing yourself to make time to incorporate the good and positive changes you want in your life with no guilt (don't get me started on that horrible, self-inflicted concept of guilt...grrr). People who live for others often feel that the people they care about don't effectively know how to manage their lives and that they would surely perish if not for their help, but you have to learn to just let others be. Let them work out their own problems and live their own lives. If they come to you for advice now and then, offer it with love and then move on. Each person who hasn't lived their own life, has wasted their journey and by trying to live other peoples' lives for them, you help them waste theirs as well.

Step 3: Know what you want. You can't very well go after something if you don't know what it is. For me, because I am into art, it was easiest to define my wants for my life in the form of a dream board. You can make an easy dream board or an elaborate one by putting together words and/or pictures of the things you want to attract into your life, either on a cork board, dry-erase board, or cardboard. Put it somewhere that you will see it several times a day because, each time you view it, you embed those hopes and desires deeper into your subconscious mind and eventually you won't be able but to help going after those things and attracting them into your life. Once something is embedded into the subconscious, it seeks it out. This is a sample dream board I found on the internet. Mine is all over my art table because I am revamping it today, but I wanted to post an example:

(I love that this woman has pictures of positive images and blatant statements about her wants and desires).

Step 4: Stop making excuses. There is no nice way to get to this point but to just say it...stop making excuses for things before it is too late. For example, if you want to feel 100%, you know that a healthy diet and plenty of exercise is the best way to accomplish that. Instead of actually putting it into play, how many times do you come to the end of your day and think, “I want to go for a walk, but I'm tired,” or “I know I need to cut my sugar intake down, if not out, but this one candy bar won't make that much of a difference.” I have even caught myself thinking, “I would love to retire early, but I guess I can't,” or “If I would _____, I know I would have more money.” That voice in your head, the one that starts those sentences before getting to the “but,” that is the voice that is trying to help you, the one who is leading you, giving you ideas on how to accomplish the things you want or need. It is time to start listening to that voice...time to get off the couch or chair and outside to walk or run (or inside on a treadmill), time to take the necessary steps, to do the research, to learn how to get out of the 9 to 5 job and choose a life that will support you in whatever you would rather be doing. It's time! Stress is an excuse. We all say we have it, but we all make our own stress because of how thinly we spread ourselves. You may think that by making these excuses there will be time down the line to make your life what you want it to be, but there isn't. You have just so much time to live your life for you, before you lose it.

Step 5: Be Open. Good and positive changes cannot enter your life if you are closed off to them. In fact, there are probably tons of them just outside of your life right now, banging on your door, screaming, “Let me in, I am the thing you have been asking for for years.” If we learn to relax and not fight change, we can then prop that “door” open with a wooden wedge so change can come and go as it pleases, walking right in and saying things like, “Yo, did you ask for a new job? Well here you new job that you are going to love, at your service,” or “Nice to meet you, I have brought you the new life partner you were wanting to meet...her name is...and she is sitting in a restaurant by herself right now...across the is what you need to do...” or “I'm here to show you three things you can do with your life right now so you can retire in one year.” Listen with your heart and soul and you will hear the answers to make the changes you desire. Being afraid of hurting others (which sometimes can't be helped) or being judged by others are two very common ways people stay closed off, both of which are fear-based (I've said it before and I'll say it again, eradicate fear from your life and you begin to live). Once you have conquered fear, you will begin to watch your hopes, your dreams and your desires come to life...your life.

So many people waste the time they were given...I hope that you will not. I hope you will find the strength and courage to open yourself fully, listen to those positive, inner voices and change your life for you, because if not for you, then for who?

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