EBB AND FLOW

I was sitting at my craft desk yesterday, diligently working on a new purse design. My day was quiet, reflective and very peaceful. It was upon this realization, that my 16-year-old son came home from school with great news; he had been selected for the National Honor Society, fifth year running. I was elated and this news only added to my perfect day, however, much to my chagrin, the day was about to become less perfect by the moment.

I told my son what a wonderful honor that was and how excited I was, only to be met with an attitude of complacency and indifference. I couldn't believe it when he said he didn't know if he wanted to join this year, his Junior year of all years, because he thought it would keep him too busy. Not only that, but the knowledge bowl team that he wanted to join at the beginning of the year, looked like it might keep him too busy also. This is a boy who has wanted to go to college since he was 10. We have been working on his college path ever since that decision because with my income, scholarships are the only way he is ever going to be able to get into college. Needless to say, his lackadaisical attitude turned my perfect day into a combative night. We fought and argued (as is much the case with us these days), until I could muster no more strength. I wrote out my feelings rather than shouting at him, and went to bed. He wrote me a note to apologize for his flip attitude and for the way he has been snapping at me lately and left it for me to read when I woke up this morning.

After much soul searching and assessment, I realized how life is in a constant state of ebb and flow and rise and fall. The tide ebbs and flows as does the weather, the cycles of the moon, the sun and the seasons. Life would be but dull with constant flow and no ebb. We need the rise and fall in all aspects of living.

Although the turmoil of last night lingers in my head and emotions, I know this is only his path, to find his direction in life and to search his soul for the meaning of his life and where he wants it to go. I cannot push my hopes for him and for his future if they are not things that will work on his path.

And so, as the tide and the seasons, I have to learn to ebb and flow with the rest of creation and ride out this torrential storm known as "teenage." May God be with me and give me strength!