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Sunday, February 12, 2017


(This is the first acrylic painting I have ever done...I love old and dilapidated buildings, especially barns, so I had to make one the subject of my first painting)


I am a firm believer that within every dwelling people have ever lived or worked or inhabited in any manner whatsoever, they leave behind a little bit of their energy and ultimately a piece of their soul, just by having been inside for whatever reason and for however long.

I have always been intrigued by buildings, the older the better...dilapidated, falling apart and ultimately...haunted, which fascinates the photographer in least one third of all of my work is of dilapidated buildings of one kind or another. I almost feel that I can uncover some of the stories of the things that happened inside. If I have the chance to go inside of one of these places, I will spend hours combing over the marks on the walls, sensing the energies and creating vivid images of who had been there and what had transpired over the years...some of it amazing and some of it...not so amazing.

I love the term haunted. Typically people use it to describe a “ghost” or aparition(s) having been left behind when they died to forever dwell and taunt those who enter. I believe that part of that is true, but moreso I believe that whatever we do, whoever we interact with and wherever we are, we leave a small part of our souls and energy, whether positive or negative at that particular time, in that spot, with that person and in that moment in time. This energy that is left behind in time is what I feel gives a dwelling a soul or an energy of its that you can feel when you enter through it's doors. Whatever happened there through its years, all the positive and negative combined, will reveal its soul to you.

One of my favorite things to research are old and abandoned mental hospitals, and not because I think they were places that many, if any positive things were achieved, but because of how society used to allow (maybe they still do) sadistic assholes to run places like this and torture human beings. I think it's my morbid curiosity. It's as though these places emerged up through the ground straight from hell and masqueraded as legitimate “rest homes” and “mental hospitals”. Most people typically use the term hospital to define a place to acquire help from caring individuals who take care of you and heal you during your time of need. Now I'm sure there are those mental institutions who did/do just that, but let's face it, most of them, especially long ago, were institutions to be feared.

Entering buildings with haunted souls will instantly send a chill up your spine. Everyone who enters can sense the energies that were left inside. For example, when you are looking for a place to live you have to “try on” several abodes before choosing the one that is right for you, but part of that decision-making process is what you feel when you enter, hence the phrase, “This place has good energy.” That doesn't necessarily mean that that will be the case for all who means that it has an energy that is conducive to resonating on a level that pleases your particular soul.

I think life is like this. As people we absorb energies from the people in our lives and the places we go...those energies then become a part of us in some way and help to shape and mold us into who we are. Sometimes you meet people who seem distant and though they have a huge secret to protect. I feel that these are the people who possess haunted though there is a part of them that will never be revealed, even to themselves. Letting go of the past, letting it remain back there where it belongs, forgiving yourself and those involved, is the only way to ever find peace...yet for some, a very difficult process. People often think that forgiving someone means their actions were okay, but that is far from the truth...foregiveness means just understand that this person is human, that they made a mistake, that they are sorry and have learned from it as have you, but most means freedom for you...for you to let go of all ties to past hurts and release your haunted soul. It can be a difficult thing to learn (it has been and still is for me at times), but so liberating and healthy. When I began to teach myself how to forgive, I sat down and made a list of all the people I felt I needed my forgiveness, and why. Thank God it was a small list, but I was astonished by how many of them were from such a long time ago in my life. I then, using a form of quiet meditation, consciously forgave them and let it be okay...telling myself that whatever hurt I felt in the situation was because of my own choices and the fact that I allowed myself to feel hurt in the first place. This has helped me immensely. Again, you don't have to forget as that has nothing to do with forgiveness.

If you feel a part of your soul is haunted, why not take that first step and learn how to don't have to forget, but for your sake, try to forgive and let go of all energies that are anything less than 100% positive, loving and liberating. You will be amazed at how wonderfully happy your life will become.

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