(c)2016 Kimberly's Insanity
What's this, you might ask out of sheer curiosity, eat fear for breakfast? Hmm, sounds interesting, if not odd. The more I encounter the concept of fear in others, as well as myself from time to time, the more I want to start a campaign to get people educated in the different types of fear, why we have it and how to get it out of our lives.
Getting rid of fear altogether would not be wise as there are different kinds of fear. The first is what I call "rational" fear. This is the kind of fear that comes from our gut and can make the hair on the backs of our necks stand up. This fear is for our own protection. It stops us from doing things that may cause us harm and keeps us from entering situations that could cause irreparable harm down the line. It is what alerts our fight or flight mechanism and keeps us safe. This was fear's purpose in the beginning.
Then there is the kind of fear that I call "irrational" fear. This is the fear that we have accumulated over a lifetime that we carry with us in the form of emotional scars. While it can keep us from making the same mistakes over and over, it also can keep us from living. At the base of worry and anxiety there is fear. Very seldom does anything good come from worry and/or anxiety. As a matter of fact, worry and anxiety create stress and keep us from living our lives. So many people merely exist because they let fear stop them from doing things and making the decisions that they truly want to make to live their lives fully and honestly for who they are. I cringe every time someone I am talking with starts a sentence with, "I'm afraid that...," or "I'm scared to...," or "I would, but I'm worried that if I do...," and then there is my least favorite, "What if..." Remember that thoughts are things so when you tell the universe that you are afraid of something and you put those fears into words and/or thoughts, you are drawing those very things right to your doorstep.
Fear that comes from worry and anxiety need to be eaten for breakfast...in other words faced at the beginning of every day, all day long, until neither exists in your life. I have listed below 3 steps to help you get a good start in getting the fear out of your life:
1. The minute you feel anxious or worried about something, identify it. Write it down, record it on your phone, type yourself a note, put it in a journal, etc. The key to putting a stop to things that are so embedded in our psyches is to move them from our sub-conscious minds to our conscious minds. In order to do that, we need to identify them each time we feel them in order to bring them to the surface. We get so used to feeling irrational fear that we think it has to be a part of our lives...it doesn't.
2. Once you have identified where the fear is coming from, face this fear. Tell yourself that this fear is irrational (because you know in your heart that it is) and stand up tall in front of it. Dare it to do something to you. Ask yourself the question, "What will happen when I face this fear?" Then answer yourself honestly. For each answer you come up with, make sure they are not also fear-based, but if they are, identify them as in step 1 above and move on. For each answer you come up with, keep asking the question, "And then what will happen?" From there, keep answering yourself and be honest. Here is a sample session..."I want to change jobs but I'm afraid of being unemployed if I do. Okay, so what would happen if I typed up a resume? Nothing. What would happen if I sent that resume out to places that looked suited for me and that would make me happy, while still employed at this job that I hate? I might get a lead on a new job and/or career that would bring me happiness and eventually the money I want. What if I took the new job and had to give up some of my lifestyle because I had to start at a lower salary? Then I would find the things in life that I could easily give up, sell off and do without, if even for a short time because I would eventually see that I really didn't need those things most likely. What if I took a new job and had to give notice. I don't want to hurt anyone. I am at a place of employment where people are going to understand that I need to make a change and if they don't then that is okay. It is my life and I have to live it for me. I can give notice and be grateful to them for the time I had there and move on with dignity. What if my friends at the old job don't like me anymore after that? Then they weren't real friends in the first place." Keep this line of questioning up until you finally understand that the only thing holding you back in every situation that would make you happy, is you. Every time you worry, you draw that fear into your life and the very thing you are worried about...WILL happen because you are giving it power...albeit negative power, but power nonetheless. Once you face these fears, they will be gone. One by one you will eliminate them and all future fear from your life.
3. At this point you have identified the fear and faced the fear. Now it is time for you to live without it. Once you know how to bring fear to the surface and face it, all you have to do is define your goals and dreams in life and go after them, full force and without fear and you know what will happen...you will live happily ever after.
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