THREE STEPS TO GAIN CONFIDENCE...
Confidence is a precious commodity for the soul and because of that, we need it to be who we were born to be. Sometimes however, we have to fight to gain back control over the things we feel we have lost and when we feel we have lost all or part of our confidence, the battle can feel like fighting for a lost cause. One thing to remember is that we were all born with confidence. We never really lose it because it is always there for the taking, but it can be misplaced and/or dormant within us. Do you ever feel that the nicer you are, the more people take advantage of you? I used to feel like that all the time. I had little to no self-confidence most of my young life. One day however, I realized that people weren't taking advantage of me but that I was allowing them to do so. Remember, life is only 1% of what happens to you and 99% of how you react to and/or deal with it. If you go through life showing others that it is okay for them to take what they want from you and then treat you badly or ignore you afterward, then you are giving them the message that you are fine with that. There are givers and there are takers and the takers love to meet people who allow them to take as it suits them and then walk away until they need something else.
Don't be a “people-pleaser.” The only person you have to please while you are here...is you. People will come and go throughout your life for many different reasons and purposes...some good...some not so good, but always for a lesson learned. Many of them will not be pleased with you no matter what you do. These are the people you must weed from your life. How will you know them? Unfortunately they don't come with a warning label, i.e. a shirt that says, “Caution...this person is toxic and will suck the life out of you...approach at your own risk.” It would be great if they did, but sadly, this is not the case. You do however, come with a built-in sensor that can assess a person within five minutes of making their acquaintance. You will also know them by the fact that they will be judgmental and accusatory and they will let you quickly know that the world will, nay must, revolve around them. They are the takers. The second you know who these people are, you must decide to turn tail and run like hell. Don't let them near you. The hair that stands up on the back of your neck does so for a reason...self-preservation. We must heed the warning signs for our own good.
Right about now you may be wondering how to go about gaining back the confidence you might have misplaced. There are three steps I have listed below to help get you back on track:
1. Get fear out of your life. First, stop living in fear of what people will think of you...it doesn't matter!!! If you are “people-pleasing,” you are living for others so they will “like” you. You only get one shot at life and not everyone is going to like you...you need to live for you and for what you think of you. Look in the mirror every morning and point out your good and wonderful qualities. Tell yourself that you are worth all good things...that you have respect for yourself and that you matter!!! You are an amazing individual and there is no one on this earth who is exactly like you in all of your unique ways. Embrace that and learn to love that about yourself. Once you come from a place of profound integrity and show others the respect you have for yourself, they will respect you also. Next, have faith. Worrying prevents you from living because worry is fear. Faith is the answer...faith in God, faith in a higher power, faith in the universe, faith in yourself...faith will get you through no matter what. Live from moment to moment...the past is gone and the future will take care of itself.
2. Learn the power of the word NO. Takers love “yes” people. They know that no matter what they ask, your answer will be some form of the word yes. They know you won't have the courage to stand up for yourself and politely decline. This not only depletes your self-esteem, but it creates stress. When you learn to say no you can better manage your time throughout the day and therefore you won't be stressed. No is a powerful word. It doesn't have to be delivered with anger or malice. You can politely decline to help someone, and guess what...your real friends are going to be okay with that.
3. Practice daily affirmations. Thoughts are things and if you constantly go through life thinking that you are less than everyone else, guess what...you are. If you think things will turn out badly, guess what...they will. What you think about is what will manifest in your life. When you begin to affirm, on a daily basis (possibly hourly in the beginning) that you are worth all good things, then you will be. When you think you matter...you will. When you think you are special and unique...you are. When you think you can handle everything that life hands you...you can. Come only from a place of positive action and reaction and that is what you will manifest.
You are an awesome person, like no one else and you deserve love and kindness and respect, especially from yourself. Never lose sight of that.
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