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Sunday, June 21, 2015


I have a question for you...are you true to yourself or do you say the “right” thing, and by the “right” thing I mean the nice and appropriate thing to say at the time because you think the situation calls for that answer and not the answer you want to use because it would be best for you and true to what you want. An example of this would be... let's say you are one of those people at work who takes care of everything and because of this everyone feels they can approach you with all of their problems, work and personal, and you are so nice that you never say no to them. In fact, you end your sentences with something equivalent to, “...and if you need anything else, let me know...any time.” I guarantee you that you will attract a plethora of broken and negative people into your life and you will have to fight harder and harder to stay positive because at work you will be doing their jobs and in your personal life they will be calling on you to fix everything for them. They will sit back and let you run their lives so they don't have to. I call them sucker-fish people. You know the fish in the tank that suck all the algae off the sides and bottom? These people suck the good and positive things out of your life and leave you frustrated, tired and stressed. They will suck all they can out of you and move onto the next person without so much as a thought about what it did to you...don't think they won't. They want their mommies to come and run their lives so they don't have to grow up so they find people who will treat them the way mommy did. They are grown ups...let these people fend for themselves and finally grow up. You can't fix everyone and expect that if won't take a huge toll on your own life.

It seems the nicer you try to be in life, the more your tendency is to lose yourself in what others want and what is best for them. In doing so you then gradually become frustrated and jaded because you neglect what is best for you. Yes, it is good to be a good person and a good friend, but please make extra sure that you are being a good friend to people who will return what you give them so freely. In the workplace it is great to be a team player and to help others, but not beyond the point of them helping themselves. They get paid for doing their jobs, just like you, but you don't get paid for doing their jobs as well, you just get stressed and frustrated and tired. Pretty soon you look in the mirror and wonder who that is looking back at you because you barely recognize them.

I love the old adage, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” In other words, you can help these people if you really want to, but don't hold their hands and be their them how to solve things on their own and learn to say no if you don't want to take on that role. It's okay to say no and have a life of your own. So many people won't turn others down because they have a fear that if they do they will talk badly about them behind their backs and not like them. I say this...if that is the case, believe me you are so much better off without them in your life. In learning to steer these people away from you, you come closer to a positive life that is about you and your needs because, let's face it...if you don't take care of your needs...who will?

I am hopeful that this post will guide you to be true to yourself and the next time someone asks something of you that you don't want to do...just say no...or any other phrase that would bring you the results that YOU desire.

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