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Tuesday, January 6, 2015


One of the most detrimental words in the English language is the word, "should."  You can do so much harm to yourself with this horrible word.  A lot of you might be thinking, come on, that's just a word, how damaging can it be?  But what you may not realize is how harmful it is to your self-talk, which in turn can kill or damage any or all of your self-esteem.  

Let's say, for the sake of example, that your job is in an office building where a lot of other people work and where there is a central location for an Inbox and an Outbox in your particular department. Let's also say that the Inbox is always on the right and the Outbox is always on the left.  So, at one point you finish your work, print it out and take it over to insert it in the Inbox, but when you get there you notice that someone has moved the Inbox to the left and placed the Outbox on the right.  Your first thought is going to be that the Inbox should be on the right and that this new placement is wrong. Now, you are either going to do one of three things at this point; you either 1) Shrug it off, place your work in the Inbox and go about your day, 2) Find someone in charge and ask why the switch was made and make sure they are aware it is wrong, or 3) Switch them back yourself, overriding the person who made this new decision, because you knew that that was the way they should be positioned.  The healthiest choice? Number 1.  If you just realize that it happened, that it wasn't your choice nor your decision as to the placement of the boxes and just go about your day, all is well in your world and there is no stress from this situation. However, if you insist that the Inbox should be on the right and you have to make sure it is, then you have stressed yourself with worry because of some sort of displaced fear.  Now your day has become a bit more complicated as you have attracted negativity to you by bringing fear into a situation that didn't need it. In whatever position the boxes were in, your work was done and you deposited it into the Inbox so by walking away you showed the universe that you accepted whatever was happening and let it be.

Most of the time using the word, "should," is a mechanism for either fighting change or being the one to control the change.  There is no should.  There is or there isn't.  It does or is doesn't.  It will or it won't. Accept it, move on and don't dwell.  

The more time you spend giving energy to situations you cannot control, the more stress you create in your life. I feel bad for people who say they are, "stressed out," because I used to be one of them and I know first-hand just how silly I was to be drawing negativity into my life with fear (which is the basis of worrying).  The word, "should," creates worry which therefore creates negativity which therefore creates stress.  

Learn to live in the moment and for the moment and let everything around you take care of itself because you know what?  It will.  Think healthily.  

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