Words CAN kill...they can kill a friendship, a relationship, a love affair, a job, an court case, and can actually take a life depending on the situation. I've known instances where school-age kids injure one of the other kids so badly with words that they take their own lives. Words are just that powerful.
How sad that some people don't realize the importance of HOW something is said rather than putting the emphasis on WHAT is being said, hence the adjective “empathy.” For instance a friend and I text quite frequently back and forth and with texting you can too easily assume a tone...it can be any tone and usually winds up being the tone coming from the mood you are in at the time. I hate texting for that reason alone. Then, due to spelling errors and hot tempers, things are misunderstood and taken the wrong way so a heated argument ensues in which neither party is really listening to the other and boom...a friendship is doomed forever.
For example, the person I was texting with today took everything in the wrong context, which I tried to straighten out, but couldn't. Then, she ended up ASSUMING that I wanted to call her a bitch (which hadn't even crossed my mind) and then had the nerve to make the statement (and I'm quoting here), "Don't ever play me like a fiddle, because you won't win." Just this lone, little statement, spoke volumes to me. Those words stabbed through me like a knife through the heart. I've NEVER in my life tried to "play" anyone, but the fact that she thought I could do that told me that she will never trust me and therefore never trust our friendship. Other comments were made that further injured my view of relationships, but I don’t need to go further with those.
Why don't people listen to the words? I went back over those texts a thousand times today and, for example, from the simple comment that I made, i.e. "I will probably be less sensitive in about 2 more days...," she took that to mean that I wanted to take two days to myself with no communication. All I meant was that I would be back to my old self in a couple of days because I was going through a rough patch. I said nothing about having no contact. If anything I feel that we don't have enough contact, but that was what was assumed on her part. From there it just went downhill.
More words misconstrued…at one point I mentioned that I thought we had, "...lack of communication," (not A lack of communication, but lack of it in general) which she took to mean that we didn't communicate well, but what I meant was that we didn't communicate often enough, as in talking and texting. I was trying to say that I wish we contacted each other more throughout a day, but again, words gone awry. I’m sure some of the things she said were not taken correctly on my part either, but I know the meanings of those words were there.
Toward the end of this misconstrued word flarping (yes, I said flarping), I was accused of, "…giving up so easily," but the truth is, I will never be in another relationship again that I have to fight for, be it friend, lover or life mate. In fact, the more fighting, the less I want any part of it. I had the fighting relationships in the past and they were the very reason I have stayed single for this long. I'm done fighting. I don't have even the smallest desire to fight because I've had to fight in every area of my life for the last fifty fucking years. I’m in therapy to heal the scars from all of these past battles and from now on I want a relationship where we just get along, which will require small compromises on both parts of both parties, but I'm just not willing to work my ass off to make it work. If it requires that much effort to make it work in the first place, then let's face it, it must not be right. I'm not saying relationships are easy, but they don't have to be hard either. I take my hat off to all of you people out there who are able to have healthy relationships of any and all kinds, make them work when you have to and enjoy them when you don’t. Here’s to people who need people. They’re the luckiest people in the world.
Watch those words people, and do me a favor...if you want to kill someone with words, please do so with kindness. I've always loved the phrase, "Kill them with kindness," because that wouldn't be a bad way to go if you think about it.
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