As you know by now, I have been maladjusted to this "empty nesting" thing that was thrust upon me, even though it is within the scope of nature's plan. Since my last post I have polled any and all mothers who have lived through this process and find that I am not alone in my conflicted feelings, i.e. "This is cool, there is food in the refrigerator when I get home," but "I really miss my 'little' boy," etc.
At first I was hurt because of the way it happened and, ultimately it was my decision, but the only one that could be made at the time. My son had agreed to honor the deal we made about living at home until he finished the first two years of college, but was not at all happy when he was physically at home (the frequency of which quickly dwindled). My dilemma? Did I make him stay at home and be miserable? Or let him out of the deal and basically boot him out the door and into the arms of the new family and life he had recently adopted. There was no choice. I couldn't stand to see him hating to come home and feel the anger that was welling up inside of him every time he walked in the front door.
My heartfelt gratitude to those who helped me see that my son and I could still have a close relationship even though he left, albeit a very different kind of relationship, but happily a relationship all the same. I also offer up kudos to those of you who have endured it all and came out on the other end. Yes, there is life after motherhood, and as I am discovering, quite a nice one indeed.
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