You Have To Suffer A Break…
©June 13, 2019 – Kimberly D. Miller
We all want to be the best version of ourselves, whether it’s the healthiest weight, the best job, the most organized, etc., but we also know what an enormous feat this can be to achieve. How many times have you vowed to make healthy changes in your life, promised yourself that you were going to do better, to be better and make better choices? How many times have you started out, gung ho, ready to kick ass and take names and hit the ground running, only to find that you get part way there and fail? Almost every one of us will have the same answer to these questions…”every single time.” If this is you, don’t worry, you are not alone.
It makes us want to give up because every time we start out with good intentions, we seem to fall flat on our proverbial faces and then frustration sets in and then we just throw our hands up in the air and have a glass of wine and watch a movie (or maybe that’s just me J). What’s missing from the formula people use when they try to change; why does it seem they go about it backward? Most people think you just have to do the new habit, eat the new foods, put a few things back after you use them or search the want ads a few minutes each day, but this kind of thinking is counter-productive in that they are missing one very important step. What is that step you ask? Well, be patient, I am getting there…lol (but patience is a huge maintenance component and not one to be missed). That step is the willingness to break the old habits first. Many of us try to lose weight while still putting 3 spoons of sugar in our coffee because we aren’t willing to “give up our ‘one’ luxury”, but if you don’t first break the habit of putting 3 spoons of sugar in your coffee, you can’t expect the weight to come off…at all. If you still drink soda (especially “diet” soda (what an oxymoron)), you can’t expect to see the pounds just melting away. Most people wish to eliminate clutter and chaos from their lives, but they aren’t willing to part with “sentimental” things, even though pretty much everything that clutters their lives has become “sentimental” at some point, which is why they still have it. They must first be willing to break the habit of attaching sentimental value to inanimate objects in order to let go of the clutter and chaos in their lives (as a Professional Organizer I would say this is the most common habit I see and this was also a huge change I had to make in my own life).
Is any of this easy to achieve? HELL NO!!! It’s the most difficult thing in the world to effectuate this kind of change because it has taken years upon years to build the habits that have led us to our weight gain, our clutter and ultimately our depression, that they can never be rectified over night. It may take years upon years upon years to get the new habit even sparking in your brain at all, but when it does, wow…it’s like the light finally just came flooding into your life and everything is good and bright and easy. The people who have the most difficult time are those who may not want it badly enough…it’s like they think they should want it, or their doctor has told them they need to want it, or a partner/spouse has strongly suggested they want it, but deep down they really don’t, so they put in minimal effort and expect to receive maximum results, but the sad truth is that it just doesn’t work like that. If you want to lose the weight, you must not eat the carbs, and you must eliminate the sugar from your coffee and be willing to want this change that will occur in your life to better yourself. It is my considered opinion that you will not receive the results you desire unless you want it badly enough. You will reach your goals only when you finally say to yourself, “I don’t care what I have to do to change this, I’m just done feeling bad all the time.” Let’s face it, we judge ourselves every minute of every day and most of us judge ourselves so harshly that we fail to live up to our own expectations and therefore tend to give up too easily, most often before we even get started. When you really want it, you will achieve it!
The success stories I have seen and even those I’ve managed to make in my own life have been those made through the willingness to first break the old habit while replacing it with the new. One of the keys to making this happen is to think of this change as just that, a change…not an elimination. For example, I never diet, I change my eating habits and my lifestyle around which food revolves. I change the way I organize the things in my life so the flow is beneficial and the material objects (which can actually suck energy right out of you, FYI) are minimal and necessary. I’m sorry to tell you but Marie Kondo is an entertainer and the reason you have clutter in the first place is because you kept all of the things that “brought you joy.” Don’t even get me started on that show…(insert grumbly face here).
When it comes right down to it, you have to suffer a break (of old habits) in order to make the changes you want in your life. It is never easy, but it is always worth it.
I wish you patience, self-love, and all good changes,
Kimberly ~ Simply Organized 4 Life
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