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Wednesday, August 2, 2017


Photo by Kimberly D Miller 2017

(c) Kimberly D. Miller 08/2017

At what weight are we defined as fat?  I was thinking about this this morning and finally realized what a relative word the word “fat” is.  We tend to let society dictate who we are so much these days that most of us have lost sight of what is truly important in being alive, because body weight and appearance certainly is the least of it.  I was looking in the mirror after I got dressed for work this morning and was thinking, wow, I have to lose weight again, as if it ever stops, and then I thought, what the hell, I don’t know anyone else on the planet who has anything negative to say about my weight, so why should I?  Then I realized that I also tend to attract to curvy women.  I am seldom attracted to women with straight and petite figures, so why would I not accept this in myself?  I am 55 and prouder every day of who I have become and who I am still working to become as I see amazing and wonderful changes in my life every day, in every way.  

Do you fall into this societal trap?  Do you look in the mirror and think, wow, I’m an amazing person…or do you pick yourself apart and leave the rest for the vultures (all the naysayers and judges in your world) to chew on?  If you constantly do the latter, please stop and take stock of all you have to offer.  You are an original, not a copy (even if you are a twin, et al).  Every thought you have is original, either in its entirety or at least in its details.  You have creativity that you seldom allow yourself to use and strength that you don’t even know is there.  Your talents, the unique way(s) in which you interact with others, the love you have to offer and the way you help others is unique to only you.  You make a difference in the lives of others so why not make a difference in your own life?  

We are all guilty of this harsh infraction but I ask you…what will it take for us to praise ourselves in the way we deserve?  Not only is casting judgment a bad habit, but it also creates negative karma, which, unfortunately, I know all too well first hand.  I am working so very hard on eliminating this habit from my life in its entirety, as well as removing all of the judges as well.  I can tell you that in the short few months I have accomplished this feat, my life has changed exponentially for the better.  

As we age (if we are lucky) we begin to realize just how short life is and how wonderful it is to be alive…I mean really alive.  Society wants us to sleep through life and sit on a couch or lay in bed with our electronics, barely having any kind of a social life at all, but when we finally catch on, we realize how unique our lives are and how no one can truly live them but us and that we have this one chance.  That being the case, having this one chance, why would you not want it to be everything it could be for you?  Would you not like to live out your dreams?  You can, you know, and it takes little to no money to do so.  There are always ways if you do the research, to figure out how to do the things you want to do in life and how to get out of life the things you desire.  The first step is to praise yourself…your physical body, your attitude, your gifts and creative prowess in this world as well as your faith and spirituality.  This self-confidence will take you as far as you want to go.  Take stock of your surroundings.  Are you in a job, relationship or life situation that stresses you out?  Then these are the parts of your life you need to change…stress comes from frustration and/or unhappiness with a situation.  

I have decided that, going forward, I choose to see what is right with me, not what is wrong with me.  It is such a huge challenge to change a life in which we were taught negative behavior and thought patterns by the negative people in our lives because all of that teaching molded and shaped us into who we are today…but it is very possible…slow, but possible…long, but possible and, even though it can be a daunting experience, the rewards are beyond amazing.  If you look at the word "impossible," you will see the following short sentence: I m possible."  You become this person that sees the world and everything that happens in it so differently now that you know you can do and/or handle absolutely everything because you know you will be able to find the positive side of the situation, even it’s a hard one.  As a life coach, I believe this to be the largest area of change that people want and/or need to effectuate in order to move forward to obtain their goals.

The reason I titled this post, HOW FAT IS FAT, is because it is one of the most-addressed and negative issues in our society that leads to self-deprecation, and to draw your attention to the fact that we need to stop comparing ourselves against society’s standards of what is “acceptable” to others.  The only opinion of you that matters, is yours.  I hope that from now on, when you look in the mirror (and even when you don’t) you will ask yourself, “What is right with me?” and keep it positive.  I promise if you do, you will get everything you want out of life.

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