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Friday, October 16, 2009

ANGER = DIS-EASE?

This morning at 8:00 a.m. as my disrespectful neighbor decided to open the door of his house that faces my home and belligerently blast his music to 110 decibels, I felt red, hot anger rise up and seethe in my head and my body. I lost track of everything I was doing, ultimately burning the bacon, while I was in the process of calling the police and having them address this situation with him for the nth time this week. I snapped at my son when he came into the room. I began to shake with such venom that I could not control it. Finally the police arrived and he turned the music off. For hours after this I could not think of anything pleasant or get my morning back on track. I managed only to try to understand why he feels the need to be so rude and disrespectful toward me. It seems he plays it just loud enough for me to be disturbed, and opens only the door that faces my house, and therefore, disturbs none of the other neighbors. I have done nothing to bother this man, but he take great pleasure in making sure he bothers my son and I.

It was at that point that I realized just how much damage I let him do to me. I let him ruin what would otherwise have been a very pleasant morning. I let him change my mood into an angry and unhealthy one, and I let him spoil the nice time my son and I would have had at breakfast. Notice I use the phrase, "I let him," because ultimately had I not chosen to go there and dwell upon all of this unpleasantness, this would be a non issue.

Anger = dis-ease and dis-ease = illness and unpleasantness, which can well up into an unrelenting cancer. If there is one thing I learned recently it is that holding anger and other ugly emotions inside without dealing with them, results in pain and illness. Having attended that fabulous retreat got me to the point that I can sit back after the fact and realize what happened and what I could have done in the moment. I now understand how to slough off the bad from the situation, but I need to understand how to do this in real time, as it happens, and make better choices.

I think I am making great progress in this area, especially for such an impatient Taurus with a Virgo rising. LOL.

The lesson today? Just breathe!!!!!!

1 comment :

Dawn said...

Wow...very deep and quite insightful. Not to mention a touch of deja vu. Had a very similar problem with a young man in the culdesac across the road from us when we first moved here. I, however, wasn't quite so introspective at the time. Very thought provoking post, thank you dear friend!

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