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Saturday, August 9, 2008

WANDER LUST

I don't know what's going on in the world right now, but most people I know are in turmoil, including me.

I don't know if it's because my job of 11 years is ending in December, or if it's a total lack of fulfillment, but I am just not happy these days. I was born with a soul steeped in wander lust, and have always been a Nomad, that is until I had a baby. I then sunk my roots in the ground to raise him for the past 15 and a half years, by myself, basically living a life with no fulfillment for me, other than what he provided.

Something's stirred up inside me now to the point of no return. I cannot go back. I cannot break free until I am true to myself. This means moving away from this state, which I have nothing against personally, but which has never been the place for me. I SO desire to move to Salisbury CT or the surrounding area in CT, MA or NY. If you are somebody who lives in those general areas or know somebody in those general areas, I would appreciate any link to you or them to help my son and I relocate. I need to be hooked up in the way of job openings, places to live, even a place to stay temporarily until we can lock into the job and a place to live.

The older I get, the more I realize how necessary it is to be TRUE to yourself, to listen to yourself and know what you need to be fulfilled. I am suffocating here in this life, working a job for 11 years that I dreaded going to each morning. I am in search for happiness and will NOT stop until I find it. Moving to the Salisbury area will open so many doors for my son and I, both. It will allow me to open up the fields and genres of art that are close to my heart, including singing and writing, it will open up possible schools and employment for my son, and it will get us to a freakin' Broadway play for once in our lives--introduce some culture, some trips, getting out, having fun, finally living life.

I'm such a mess right now, but at the same time, I finally know exactly what I need to fulfill myself -- to see what it would be like to be truly happy and fulfilled, inside and out. You really have no one else in life to be true to but yourself, and in doing that, you spread it wherever you go. These things are contagious.

Please pray for me to make our dreams come true - I know I am.

2 comments :

rho said...

it is most definately important to be true to who you are, to keep yourself open and available to what this world has to offer and be ready to take advantage of it. there is nothing more frustrating than feeling like you're spinning your wheels and going nowhere and not being happy. i wish much luck and happiness on your quest to rejuvinate your life. it takes great courage and character to make those kinds of decisions and to carry them out. my hat is off to you. good thoughts and prayers being sent your way.

Getty72 said...

Dearest Kimberly, you are truly in my prayers. I admire you for your determination to find what will make you happier in life. Never let that passion and determination fade from your heart, and you will definitely find what you are looking for. Your words are so beautiful, your desire so true, and your heart so strong.

It will happen, and you can look back at this moment in your life as part of the journey.

Kimberly, I wish you all the happiness in the world!!!!

Warmest wishes ~ Graham :)

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