MENOPAUSAL PSYCHOSIS…YIKES!!!

MENOPAUSAL PSYCHOSIS…YIKES!!!

Kimberly D. Miller – March 2018

I’m up, I’m down, I’m sideways, I’m hanging by my toes and then…I’m up again…yikes, what a ride…I want to get off!!!

Ever feel like this?  I have since my thirties and I am here to tell you, it is EXHAUSTING.  I’m 55, soon to be 56 in less than two months, and I’m still going through it.  I’ve always had this weird, psychotic cycle and desperately sought any answer that made sense.  I ask myself why would I be so depressed and then suddenly be on a high note and then down in the dumps again and on and on, on this torrential rollercoaster? Why the senseless panic attacks?  What’s this all about?  Years of doctors’ appointments and therapy and various medications when all at once, I finally found a naturopathic doctor in Eugene who has diagnosed me and now I am on the road to recovery….woo hoo!!!  I can’t even express the relief I feel in just knowing there is hope.

I went into peri-menopause in my mid thirties and have had a long, hard road because no one could or would correctly diagnose me.  I would get answers like, “You’re probably in peri-menopause,” or “Maybe you’re in early menopause but there is no way to test that.”  Even now that I am in full blown menopause and over a year and half with no cycle, I was still getting vague answers and diagnoses.  Doctors are trained to treat the symptoms and I am very “pro finding the cause and treating that.”  I have prayed and prayed for a miracle and, last Monday, I went to Eugene and finally received one.  I now know that I am not crazy (at least not as crazy as I have always felt…I still own a little bit of the crazy, but that is by choice).  It turns out that I have, and always have had, a low-functioning thyroid, which is very difficult to diagnose I’m told and is exacerbated (and can even be caused) by menopause…hello?  Thus explains the rollercoaster of emotions, depression, anxiety, dry skin, hair loss, anger, sudden fatigue, adrenal crashes, cold flashes, shakiness, hot flashes, brain fog and a host of other symptoms seemingly coming from nowhere. 

For some time I have felt lost and alone because, lately especially, I have not been able to make and/or keep friends in my life.  I’m not balanced enough for people to stick with me, nor have I let the ones who have tried, and I am the worse for the wear.  I lost myself along the way…the me that used to laugh and have fun and enjoy living.  I now know that there is an actual reason for my erratic life and so maybe there is hope…hope for new friendships, hope for a life partner, a best friend…hope for a life.

My hope in writing this post is that every woman searching the internet for answers to her current brand of crazy runs across this article and finds answers, guidance and peace and I hope that if you are going through this now, you will seek help with a naturopathic M.D., or someone in the naturopathic field so that you can find the answers you need to give you back your life.

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