Sometimes I think the toughest part of life for some of us, is that of being judged by other people and caring what they think. Am I saying it isn't good to care? Absolutely not for it is an amazing quality to care about others, but I am saying that it isn't good to care more about what other people think of you and your life than you do. Your opinion of everything about you should be the deciding factor in all of your decisions where you are concerned.
I wonder at times, why people, even those who don't really care that much about me, want or need to chime in on my decision-making process without my solicitation of their advice. My answer to this wonderment would be...control. They want or need to feel they are controlling you. Many people have this preconceived notion of who and what you should be and how you should behave and if you deign to go it your own way, doing your own thing, you will be judged harshly, if not completely shunned. To these people I say, please do not judge me without your crown. If you must shun me for who I am, then you are not someone I would care to have in my life anyway. I figure that if I can see their crown, I will know they are the ruler of the country in which I live and that I had better do things their way or risk being beheaded in front of the entire kingdom, including the court jester. This would not be good...(insert laughter here to complete sarcasm).
I recently happened upon this quote by Richelle E. Goodman... “Perhaps, if you weren't so busy regarding my shortcomings, you'd find that I do possess redeeming qualities, discreet as they may be. I notice when the sky is blue. I smile down at children. I laugh at any innocent attempt at humor. I quietly carry the burdens of others as though they were my own. And I say 'I'm sorry' when you don't. I am not without fault, but I am not without goodness either.” I love how she phrased this. It's as though she donned the ready position in a fencing match and drew her epee, yet in a classy and non-confrontational way. Just enough sass to say, I am the whole me and if you are busy judging the outside me then you don't see the whole me.
We are all guilty of judging people just by appearances and possible, quirky behaviors, and most times before we ever get to know them, so, therefore, are we judged by others. Karma and/or the universe states that, “What you put out there is going to come back to you tenfold.” This being the case, the person who has mastered the art of letting others be who they are (without hurting anyone including themselves (my favorite part of Wiccanism)), is someone who is rarely judged harshly by others and who doesn't care about other peoples' opinions of them anyway. This is the person I am diligently working to become.
Steve Maraboli said, “How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative, judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.” Truer words have never been spoken in my opinon. We generally find what we look for so it makes perfect sense that if you seek the good in others, you will find it. Treat people with a sense of decency and kindness and that is what they will return to you....as above, so below and what you put in is what you get out.
People are basically good and I believe that...I think when you present even the most harsh-minded person with reason, they will choose the good over the bad, or the good over the evil (if that terms applies). Many of us don't realize that our harsh judgments hurt us just as much, if not more, than they do the person to whom they are directed. Point a finger at someone and three point back at you...that is the visualization technique I use whenever a judgment flies out of my mouth these days and it has really helped me to see that I have no right to say these things because I don't really know this person and I have flaws like everyone else...we all do, and it's okay. It's okay to be who you are, love who you are, change the parts of you you want to better, eliminate the parts that do not serve you well, and treat everyone with kindness, including yourself.
Going forward, when someone judges you, and they will, ask them to please not judge you without wearing their crown...and please show others the same courtesy in reverse for if you must behave as royalty it is common courteousy to be properly attired.
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