FRAME SOMEBODY...

There's a lyric in a song by BOY entitled, "This is the Beginning," that goes, "Your eyes are the camera, your heart is the frame." Every time I hear this lyric I think of all the people I've ever been extremely close to and lost...especially my mother.

Loss, while certain, may just be the toughest part of life because we spend years with someone, nurturing our relationship with them, the good times, the bad, the hard times, the laughter, the love, the connection, only to be left behind. What may be the point then, you might ask? The journey...making sure that your heart becomes a permanent frame to cherish all that that person has meant to you...the lessons you learned from them and them from you..,.the soul-bonding that will never be the same with one person as it is with another...the unique imprint that that individual has left upon who you are at its very core...that's what it's all about...in other words, the love. 

Love enters our lives in so many ways and its meaning changes from person to person, relationship to relationship, heart to heart. The love of a parent with its child seems to me to be the greatest bond of all for when you lose that, you feel so alone in this world...like there will never again be a person you can turn to like you could the parent or parent-figure in your life. The love of a partner or soulmate, when lost, can leave you devastatingly empty...like a part of you yourself has gone. This however, is the biggest part of the journey, nurturing these relationships and then, when they have ebbed from your life, keeping them embedded in your heart as there is nothing more sentimental than that.

Always remember to cherish those people in your life who mean the world to you, even if you don't always see eye to eye, because one day they will be gone and then it will be too late to let them know that you loved them so much you framed them (with your heart).



Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

OBSERVATIONS...PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU WHO THEY ARE...

Years ago, during a time that I was fortunate enough to have made my home in San Francisco, one of my very favorite past times was hanging out in Golden Gate Park, watching and observing the myriad of people who happened by. There were people on roller skates, tricycles, bicycles and unicycles...some dressed in clown suits, some like mimes...some who were singing for their supper and some who just sang. Something I realized back then, and again recently while people-watching at the Marina in Brookings Harbor the other day, is that even if you don't know them, people will always tell you who they are...you merely need to observe.

I remember a lady who ran around the park with a sign that read, "Free Hugs," draped around her neck, who everyone labelled as crazy, but what I realized about this woman as I watched her was that she most likely had no one at home to receive the vast amount of love she had to give and she really wanted to share this gift with humanity. She would just walk up and hug random people, whether they welcomed her or not. I found it so interesting as to the varied responses she would get...some people would hug her back, smile and say thank you (these were people who were open to change and pretty happy-go-lucky, positive people)...others would cuss at her and push her away (the introverted, easily annoyed, keep-to-themselves type of people who did not take kindly to change)...and still others would walk way around her in order to avoid her altogether (the people who usually sit back in life and weigh everything out before making a decision...they may let her hug them one day, after they pass by her many times and determine that she is "safe," but they may not). I could sit and watch her for hours (and often did). I wish I could have afforded a video camera back then.

I also loved to observe the mimes, although they could become annoying when they got right in your face, but those who would pretend they were mechanical people would amuse me. It was like they were saying, "Look what I can do...I hope it makes you happy." I felt like they were not only trying to convey their talent, but to also use it to get people to smile and/or react in a positive way.

There is an old saying that goes, "actions speak louder than words," and, although I love words, I find that to be such a true statement. If you can get past what people are saying to you and observe their behavior, you will discover who they are...and you may be one of the few who do. It is so difficult to figure out who we are...we all have some idea, but very few of us have a full understanding of the whole picture as it consists of so many layers.

One of the classes I took recently on wellness coaching talked about an exercise wherein you write down everything you eat throughout the day to find out, not only how it is affecting your physical body, but also as to why you might be craving those particular foods and then make adjustments accordingly. I went a step further and realized that you could do the same thing with your actions to gain a better understanding of some of your hidden layers. An example here might be carrying a journal throughout the day and writing things down as they happen, i.e. I was in the grocery store today and helped a lady get some items from a tall shelf or A man with a cane was standing next to me where I was sitting on the bus, but I didn't give him my seat. Whatever the action may be, write it down and be extremely honest with your observations...don't add excuses to it either (like I didn't give him my seat because my back was hurting)...you won't reveal those layers by lying to yourself or making excuses. 

It is quite an eye-opener to discover who you really are, but remember to love and respect yourself and be proud of who you are no matter what you discover. Make the changes you need to make to be the person you are proud of. You can get away from most people, but you have to live with yourself 100% of the time.




Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

MAYBE YOU NEED NEW EYES...

Marcel Proust, who penned so many insightful quotes, once wrote, "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." What an amazing insight this was, especially during his time. In thinking this through it boils down to the fact that everything is as we make it...see it...think it. We manifest what we think, therefore, if you are tired of your current reality, you can change the way you view it, i.e. see it through new eyes, and your reality will therefore change.

I know for a fact that whenever I have made a conscious effort to see a situation in a positive light, it changes the intensity and meaning of that particular situation. 

They say that you can search and move and try to discover new lands and new lives, but once you realize home is where the heart is, you will always be home.


Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

HAVE YOU LOOKED IN A MIRROR LATELY???

 

 

What is your honest opinion of yourself when you look in a mirror? Let's face it, most of us are so critical of our physical appearance because we base our opinion on society's version of the "perfect" and "acceptable" way that we should look. So, based on their criteria, when you look in a mirror and don't see a fine ass, great boobs, a slim waistline and flawless skin, do you get depressed and lose some of your all-too-important self-esteem? If you do, you are not alone. In fact, you are one of countless millions...and that is a sad commentary on our society. 

Why should our looks be so important? Why do we think that if we leave the house without our makeup or in our comfy street clothes or without doing our hair, that people are going to think we are not attractive. The truth is that the person you see in the mirror is the only person whose opinion should matter. You are what you think you are and if you think you are beautiful...then you are, it's that simple. Also, when you think you are beautiful, it naturally follows that others will as well.

I recently read the following article by Neel Burton on PsychologyToday.com entitled, Building Confidence and Self-Esteem...I love the points he makes here and hopefully you will find something positive to take away from reading it that will change your life:

"Self-esteem is affected by physical ill-health, negative life events such as losing your job or getting divorced, deficient or frustrating relationships, and a general sense of lack of control. This sense of lack of control is often particularly marked in people who are the victims of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, or of discrimination on the grounds of religion, culture, race, sex, or sexual orientation. 

Sometimes poor self-esteem can be deeply rooted and have its origins in traumatic childhood experiences such as prolonged separation from parent figures, neglect, or emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. If you think this is a particular problem for you, speak to a mental healthcare professional. Therapy or counselling may enable you to talk about such experiences and to try to come to terms with them. Unfortunately, therapy or counselling may be difficult to obtain, and may not be suitable for everyone.

Low self-esteem can predispose you to developing a mental disorder, and developing a mental disorder can in turn deliver a huge knock to your self-esteem. In some cases, low self-esteem is in itself a cardinal feature of mental disorder, for example, in depression or in borderline personality disorder. The relationship between low self-esteem and mental disorder is complex, and a person with a mental disorder is more likely than most to suffer from long-term low self-esteem.  

People with long-term low self-esteem generally see the world as a hostile place and themselves as its victim. As a result, they feel reluctant to express and assert themselves, miss out on experiences and opportunities, and feel helpless about changing things. All this merely lowers their self-esteem even further, and they end up getting caught in a downward spiral.

Thankfully, there are a number of simple things that anyone can do to boost his or her self-esteem and, hopefully, break out of this vicious circle. You may already be doing some of these things, and you certainly don't need to do them all. Just do those that you feel most comfortable with.

1. Make three lists: one of your strengths, one of your achievements, and one of the things that you admire about yourself. Try to get a friend or relative to help you with these lists. Keep the lists in a safe place and read through them regularly.

2. Think positively about yourself. Remind yourself that, despite your problems, you are a unique, special, and valuable person, and that you deserve to feel good about yourself. Identify and challenge any negative thoughts that you may have about yourself, such as ‘I am a loser’, ‘I never do anything right’, or ‘No one really likes me’.

3. Pay special attention to your personal hygiene: for example, style your hair, trim your nails, floss your teeth.

4. Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself.

5. Eat good food as part of a healthy, balanced diet. Make meal times a special time, even if you are eating alone. Turn off the TV or radio, set the table, and arrange your food so that it looks attractive on your plate.

6. Exercise regularly: go out for a brisk walk every day, and take more vigorous exercise (exercise that makes you break into a sweat) three times a week.

7. Ensure that you are getting enough sleep.

8. Manage your stress levels. If possible, agree with a close friend or relative that you will take turns to massage each other on a regular basis.

9. Make your living space clean, comfortable, and attractive. Display items that remind you of your achievements or of the special times and people in your life. 

10. Do more of the things that you enjoy doing. Do at least one thing that you enjoy every day, and remind yourself that you deserve it.

11. Get involved in activities such as painting, music, poetry, and dance. Such artistic activities enable you to express yourself, acquire a sense of mastery, and interact positively with others. Find a class through your local adult education service or community centre.

12. Set yourself a challenge that you can realistically achieve, and then go for it! For example, take up yoga, learn to sing, or cook for a small dinner party at your appartment or house.

13. Do some of the things that you have been putting off, such as clearing out the garden, washing the windows, or filing the paperwork.

14. Do something nice for others. For example, strike up a conversation with the person at the till, visit a friend who is sick, or get involved with a local charity.

15. Get others involved: tell your friends and relatives what you are going through and enlist their advice and support. Perhaps they have similar problems too, in which case you might be able to band up and form a support group.

16. Try to spend more time with those you hold near and dear. At the same time, try to enlarge your social circle by making an effort to meet people. 

17. On the other hand, avoid people, places, and institutions that treat you badly or that make you feel bad about yourself. This could mean being more assertive. If assertivenessis a problem for you, ask a healthcare professional about assertiveness training. 

5 quotations about self-esteem and self-confidence

Adversity and perseverance and all these things can shape you. They can give you a value and a self-esteem that is priceless. —Scott Hamilton

Giving people self-confidence is by far the most important thing that I can do. Because then they will act. —Jack Welch

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. —Helen Keller

Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend. —Lao Tzu

To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are. —Anonymous

Neel Burton is author of The Meaning of Madness, The Art of Failure: The Anti Self-Help Guide, Hide and Seek: The Psychology of Self-Deception, Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions, and other books."

Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" below. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.