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Sunday, January 31, 2016

THREE STEPS TO GAIN CONFIDENCE...


 
THREE STEPS TO GAIN CONFIDENCE...

We are all born with confidence, but at some point in our lives (for some of us) something can take part or all of that confidence away from us, leaving us empty and vulnerable. Is it a life sentence? Some think so, but I know it to be nothing more than a temporary set back.


Confidence is a precious commodity for the soul and because of that, we need it to be who we were born to be. Sometimes however, we have to fight to gain back control over the things we feel we have lost and when we feel we have lost all or part of our confidence, the battle can feel like fighting for a lost cause. One thing to remember is that we were all born with confidence. We never really lose it because it is always there for the taking, but it can be misplaced and/or dormant within us. Do you ever feel that the nicer you are, the more people take advantage of you? I used to feel like that all the time. I had little to no self-confidence most of my young life. One day however, I realized that people weren't taking advantage of me but that I was allowing them to do so. Remember, life is only 1% of what happens to you and 99% of how you react to and/or deal with it. If you go through life showing others that it is okay for them to take what they want from you and then treat you badly or ignore you afterward, then you are giving them the message that you are fine with that. There are givers and there are takers and the takers love to meet people who allow them to take as it suits them and then walk away until they need something else.


Don't be a “people-pleaser.” The only person you have to please while you are here...is you. People will come and go throughout your life for many different reasons and purposes...some good...some not so good, but always for a lesson learned. Many of them will not be pleased with you no matter what you do. These are the people you must weed from your life. How will you know them? Unfortunately they don't come with a warning label, i.e. a shirt that says, “Caution...this person is toxic and will suck the life out of you...approach at your own risk.” It would be great if they did, but sadly, this is not the case. You do however, come with a built-in sensor that can assess a person within five minutes of making their acquaintance. You will also know them by the fact that they will be judgmental and accusatory and they will let you quickly know that the world will, nay must, revolve around them. They are the takers. The second you know who these people are, you must decide to turn tail and run like hell. Don't let them near you. The hair that stands up on the back of your neck does so for a reason...self-preservation. We must heed the warning signs for our own good.
Right about now you may be wondering how to go about gaining back the confidence you might have misplaced. There are three steps I have listed below to help get you back on track:


1. Get fear out of your life. First, stop living in fear of what people will think of you...it doesn't matter!!! If you are “people-pleasing,” you are living for others so they will “like” you. You only get one shot at life and not everyone is going to like you...you need to live for you and for what you think of you. Look in the mirror every morning and point out your good and wonderful qualities. Tell yourself that you are worth all good things...that you have respect for yourself and that you matter!!! You are an amazing individual and there is no one on this earth who is exactly like you in all of your unique ways. Embrace that and learn to love that about yourself. Once you come from a place of profound integrity and show others the respect you have for yourself, they will respect you also. Next, have faith. Worrying prevents you from living because worry is fear. Faith is the answer...faith in God, faith in a higher power, faith in the universe, faith in yourself...faith will get you through no matter what. Live from moment to moment...the past is gone and the future will take care of itself.


2. Learn the power of the word NO. Takers love “yes” people. They know that no matter what they ask, your answer will be some form of the word yes. They know you won't have the courage to stand up for yourself and politely decline. This not only depletes your self-esteem, but it creates stress. When you learn to say no you can better manage your time throughout the day and therefore you won't be stressed. No is a powerful word. It doesn't have to be delivered with anger or malice. You can politely decline to help someone, and guess what...your real friends are going to be okay with that.


3. Practice daily affirmations. Thoughts are things and if you constantly go through life thinking that you are less than everyone else, guess what...you are. If you think things will turn out badly, guess what...they will. What you think about is what will manifest in your life. When you begin to affirm, on a daily basis (possibly hourly in the beginning) that you are worth all good things, then you will be. When you think you matter...you will. When you think you are special and unique...you are. When you think you can handle everything that life hands you...you can. Come only from a place of positive action and reaction and that is what you will manifest.



You are an awesome person, like no one else and you deserve love and kindness and respect, especially from yourself. Never lose sight of that.



Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE KISS...

I was talking to a friend of mine that I haven't seen in awhile on the phone last night for about 2 hours and, because she is one of those people I can talk to about any and every subject, we always cover the topic of sex.  One thing she asked me was, "If you were with the woman of your dreams (we were also on that subject...lol) and were only allowed to do one thing of an intimate nature with her that day, which would you rather do...hold hands, have sex, or kiss?" My answer?  I'll take the kiss for 500, Alex.  Hands down, every time (okay, not EVERY time, cuz I need the other two in a bad way also...lmao.) She, of course, wanted to know why I chose the kiss, so I had to explain to her that for me, the kiss is where the passion lies and I am all about the passion in life...all areas of life.  A kiss is the intimacy, the raw, animal connection between two people that, when a deep connection exists, is like no other area in life.  You can have sex with just about anybody, but that kiss-connection is hard to come by and should be bowed-down to if you are lucky enough to find it. Unfortunately with my past partners I have never really found anyone who feels the same way I do about kissing, but my next partner will be someone who feels that passion and has that connection.  I want to meet someone who wants to start off "necking" before getting down and dirty (that's the only way I could think of to say that...sorry if I offend...:)).   Having known me for 20 years, my friend said she knew that I would choose the kiss.  I love that she knows me like that.

Okay, now that I have rambled on too long about kissing (my analogy), my point is this...that is the kind of passion I have for all areas of life.  Don't you want to feel that way about everything?  I think passion in all you do should be the key reason for doing it.  If you have a job in which you don't have that kind of passion for, then ask yourself why you are wasting your time, settling for something you don't really care about at the end of the day, when life is so short.  If you live in a situation or dwelling that doesn't make you feel passionate about every inch of it, ask yourself what you can do to change that and turn it around to feel passionate about it.  If you are in a relationship that is lacking that kind of passion, again ask yourself what you can do to turn that around and make it into something you feel so passionate about that there could be no other choice (albeit some may want to start anew...but that completes the goal).  Relationships are work for sure, but when you are in them, doing the work, make sure you keep the passion for each other if you had it in the beginning.  Passion doesn't mean sex (in every situation)...it can just mean feeling so deeply about something that you are there, in the moment, honoring that passion with someone or something you feel it for.  It can be a child, a partner, a job, a career, a house, a hobby, etc.

Live for the kiss in life...it's all about the kiss.



Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

FIVE STEPS TO FIND THE SPARE CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE...

Do you ever want things to happen in your life but you just don't know how to go about making them happen? Do you ever say things like, "My life would be so great if _____ would happen?" I love this quote by Steve Jobs: “For the past 33 years I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself, 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' And whenever the answer has been NO for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.” Look how successful he is in all areas of his life today, simply because he asked himself that question every morning and then had the courage to take the risks and chances to effectuate the changes he wanted in his life. He didn't sit around the house saying, “I can't do this or I can't do that.” He knows, like each and every one of us knows (if not only in our subconscious minds), that we CAN make the changes we want to see in our lives and that absolutely EVERYTHING is possible.


So, that being said, you might now be asking the question, “How can I make the changes I want in my life if I haven't been able to so far?” That is a great question and, while there is no one, quick answer, I have posted a list of steps you can take to attract the things you want in your life below:


Step 1: Be grateful. Being grateful for the things you have and for who you are goes a long way in attracting more of the same. You can either thank God or thank the universe or thank yourself, but thank someone with not only your words, but your actions. If you are the kind of person who enjoys helping others then continue to help others in more profound ways to show your gratitude for this gift you have received. If you are thankful for the positive people in your life, show your gratitude, if not only to yourself, by keeping only positive, happy people in your life and weeding out the others. No good can come from keeping people in your life who have done nothing but drain you for years on end. There comes a time when you absolutely have to “cut bait” and move on.


Step 2: Decide who you are living for. Are you living your life for you or are you living it for everyone else? If you take stock of your life and find out that you are doing so many things for other people and not enough for yourself, then those people are living your life...not you. You are not enjoying the ride that was meant for you. It's wonderful, even noble, to be a person who loves to help other people, but not at the expense and sacrifice of yourself. Being a martyr is way overrated. It is okay to say “no” to other people (in a nice way, of course), nay it is your duty, because if you never say no, you never have time for yourself...if you never have time for yourself then you are not living your life. I don't mean just in the way of pampering yourself physically, (trips to the spa, massages, nail salon...although those are nice), I mean give yourself the gift of self, of allowing yourself to make time to incorporate the good and positive changes you want in your life with no guilt (don't get me started on that horrible, self-inflicted concept of guilt...grrr). People who live for others often feel that the people they care about don't effectively know how to manage their lives and that they would surely perish if not for their help, but you have to learn to just let others be. Let them work out their own problems and live their own lives. If they come to you for advice now and then, offer it with love and then move on. Each person who hasn't lived their own life, has wasted their journey and by trying to live other peoples' lives for them, you help them waste theirs as well.


Step 3: Know what you want. You can't very well go after something if you don't know what it is. For me, because I am into art, it was easiest to define my wants for my life in the form of a dream board. You can make an easy dream board or an elaborate one by putting together words and/or pictures of the things you want to attract into your life, either on a cork board, dry-erase board, or cardboard. Put it somewhere that you will see it several times a day because, each time you view it, you embed those hopes and desires deeper into your subconscious mind and eventually you won't be able but to help going after those things and attracting them into your life. Once something is embedded into the subconscious, it seeks it out. This is a sample dream board I found on the internet. Mine is all over my art table because I am revamping it today, but I wanted to post an example:

(I love that this woman has pictures of positive images and blatant statements about her wants and desires).

Step 4: Stop making excuses. There is no nice way to get to this point but to just say it...stop making excuses for things before it is too late. For example, if you want to feel 100%, you know that a healthy diet and plenty of exercise is the best way to accomplish that. Instead of actually putting it into play, how many times do you come to the end of your day and think, “I want to go for a walk, but I'm tired,” or “I know I need to cut my sugar intake down, if not out, but this one candy bar won't make that much of a difference.” I have even caught myself thinking, “I would love to retire early, but I guess I can't,” or “If I would _____, I know I would have more money.” That voice in your head, the one that starts those sentences before getting to the “but,” that is the voice that is trying to help you, the one who is leading you, giving you ideas on how to accomplish the things you want or need. It is time to start listening to that voice...time to get off the couch or chair and outside to walk or run (or inside on a treadmill), time to take the necessary steps, to do the research, to learn how to get out of the 9 to 5 job and choose a life that will support you in whatever you would rather be doing. It's time! Stress is an excuse. We all say we have it, but we all make our own stress because of how thinly we spread ourselves. You may think that by making these excuses there will be time down the line to make your life what you want it to be, but there isn't. You have just so much time to live your life for you, before you lose it.


Step 5: Be Open. Good and positive changes cannot enter your life if you are closed off to them. In fact, there are probably tons of them just outside of your life right now, banging on your door, screaming, “Let me in, I am the thing you have been asking for for years.” If we learn to relax and not fight change, we can then prop that “door” open with a wooden wedge so change can come and go as it pleases, walking right in and saying things like, “Yo, did you ask for a new job? Well here you go...one new job that you are going to love, at your service,” or “Nice to meet you, I have brought you the new life partner you were wanting to meet...her name is...and she is sitting in a restaurant by herself right now...across the street...here is what you need to do...” or “I'm here to show you three things you can do with your life right now so you can retire in one year.” Listen with your heart and soul and you will hear the answers to make the changes you desire. Being afraid of hurting others (which sometimes can't be helped) or being judged by others are two very common ways people stay closed off, both of which are fear-based (I've said it before and I'll say it again, eradicate fear from your life and you begin to live). Once you have conquered fear, you will begin to watch your hopes, your dreams and your desires come to life...your life.



So many people waste the time they were given...I hope that you will not. I hope you will find the strength and courage to open yourself fully, listen to those positive, inner voices and change your life for you, because if not for you, then for who?




Thank you so much for visiting my blog and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. Happy blogging.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

DID YOU EVER WONDER...

Tonight I was looking through my blog posts, back through January's past, and came upon this post from January, 2009. Dilapidation is still a favorite subject of mine in all shapes and forms...take a look:



DID YOU EVER WONDER...



Did you ever come across an old, run down building or discarded suitcase or other old item, and wonder what story it could tell if it could talk? I wonder about things like this all the time, hence my interest in taking pictures of dilapidation. 

I was driving through McNeal, Arizona one weekend and on the way home there were so many old, falling down buildings and barns like this that I Just couldn't resist stopping in the middle of the highway to take pictures from the truck. Thank God it is a pretty lonely highway or I would have caused some serious accidents.

I think there is a part of me, maybe a part that has lived long ago, that sympathizes and wonders about all things past. I wonder who lived in this old house and why they had to leave it. How many families actually resided in it through the years, how many children grew up here, marking the walls with their growth patterns? I wonder if they planted that tree and how many gardens were sown and reaped there. I wonder why there is no fence surrounding the house. Did they use the whole field for a yard? Or just the back 40? Who patched the roof? How did it come to need patching? Were there curtains in the windows and what pattern was the fabric? I imagine a nice red or blue country print.

I find it so intriguing to paint a mental picture, especially with photographs, of how things used to be or could have been. I sometimes even go futuristic and think about how it could be if someone were to come along and make it new again. I hope I never outgrow my wandering curiosities as they keep me fresh!!!


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. 

Please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission.  Happy blogging.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

REVEAL YOUR INNER WEIRDO...

Inside each and every one of us lives a weirdo. I can't even count how many times throughout my life I have been called a weirdo and, in the beginning I took it as an insult, but have since learned that it is the highest form of compliment and I am proud to be one.

What, you may ask, is your inner weirdo? Your inner weirdo is the real you...the quirky you...the you that most people keep hidden and only reveal occasionally to a few trusted individuals for fear of being judged and not accepted by others (there's that horrible fear factor again). Unique is beautiful (no, not Monique...unique). Some people feel that those of us who don't or won't blend in with the pack, so to speak, are weird and therefore...not like the others (I loved that song on Sesame Street...one of these things is not like the others...lol).  I was always kind of a loner a child and could never really identify with the other kids. I think I had the realization most heavily that I was "not like the others" during the time that I was coming out.  I had to work really hard to understand who I was and embrace the fact that I was very different from those around me...those in my then-current world.  Having been a person with very low self-esteem at the time and one who feared being judged and not accepted, it was a very difficult time for me, but for the sage advice and support I received from a few trusted individuals who taught me that it is not only okay to be who you are, but the most honest thing you can do for yourself.  You were born to be you...not to be like everybody else. I feel bad for people who fear (or live in fear in general) being shunned because they want to be who they are meant to be. Some of these poor people will never know the freedom of this honesty because they will never understand how to be who they are meant to be.


A person who possesses profound integrity, knows the joys of being comfortable in their own skin...and thereby encourages everyone in their lives to be comfortable in theirs. I can say from experience that I prefer to have people in my life who are comfortable being who themselves, but I also enjoy helping people who are in search of themselves, in their journey if and when I am sought out for the help. I am always honored to be included in what I consider to be the ultimate quest one can embark upon. 


Once you have embarked on the journey and have found and accepted who you are, do yourself the ultimate favor of revealing your inner weirdo to others.  Begin with those you trust because you may still have fear of not being accepted at this point. Once you have accomplished this first step, you will know the freedom of letting go of social pretenses and plastic facades and knowing that it is more than okay to be who you are meant to be...it's honest. You also have to realize that not everyone is going to like you and not everyone is going to be happy with you all the time, which is okay.  This makes no difference to who you are and to the personal life you are living. This is the least thing you should ever be concerned about because you are living your life for you, not for other people. 


When you reach the point in which you are comfortable revealing your inner weirdo to others, pat yourself on the back for all of your hard work and reap the rewards of this new-found freedom. It is the ultimate form of letting go.  You will then begin to notice all of the wonderful and exciting people and opportunities that start to flow into your life. Enjoy you...you owe yourself that freedom and joy.



Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Also, please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is prohibited without express permission. Happy blogging.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT...

I have written many posts on expectations, but this is a subject that cannot be over-emphasized in the quest for a positive life filled with happiness and ease.

In a world in which our time is limited, expectations rank right up there with the number one time waster (number 1 being worry). Yesterday, three people who I cherish dearly either hit me with their expectations or had a hard day feeling let down by their expectations. While it is natural to feel that people should behave in a certain way based on your actions toward them, it is unreasonable and such a waste of time and energy to think that they will do so, much less do so every time.

We all want to think that because we would react a certain way toward a friend or loved one that they will in turn either return the favor or respond in the way in which we thought they should  Then, if they don't, we feel let down and have anger or hostility toward them, even if just for a short time.  When the situation is reversed, when you are on the end of someone else's expectations of you, you then realize it more as a form of manipulation because when you don't react the way they wanted you to and you get hit with their anger or attitude, you realize the goal of the anger and/or attitude is to try to make you feel guilty or in the wrong. I now notice that people get frustrated or angry with me because I have learned to let their feelings be just that...their feelings. I don't play into their expectations or the aftermath thereof.  I just let them have their feelings of frustration and/or anger and wait until they are done dealing with them.  I know they will come back when they or ready...or not. On the flip side, I don't put expectations on the people in my life anymore and am MUCH happier and less stressed because of it.

Expectations, which are learned, become embedded in our subconscious and, like all change, are hard to bring to the surface at first in order to recognize the fact that we are doing it. This, of course, is necessary in order to become conscious of the expectations as they arise and to adjust our thoughts to realize that the person we are talking to or dealing with is an unpredictable human without a script. This person will react differently than you would to each and every situation and if you want this person in your life, accept who they are...embrace their differences and hold onto any similarities for they are rare.  

When we live in the moment and learn to let go, we can skip over the small, silly disagreements that occur in every relationship because, let's face it, having everyone in your life be a "yes" person is more like queen and servants, not like friends/lovers...which will ultimately result in tyranny.  You can agree to disagree and move on from there.  Learn to embrace those differences and love that about this person because that is part of what attracted you to them in the first place in one way or another. If you like or love a person for who they are, let them be who they are and don't try to control or manipulate them with expectations because again, you are only hurting you.

Expectations are the best way you have available to you to let yourself down.  We tend to blame the other person for their reaction, but you are letting no one down but yourself and hurting no one in the process but...you.  Is that really worth it? I know from much experience on my part that most of the turmoil I have/had with people I love/loved, came from my own expectations and feeling let down by (what I thought was) their wrong response/reaction. The best thing you can do for all of the relationships in your life with the people you want to keep in your life, is to openly and honestly communicate.  Communication is tantamount to success in every relationship.  If you can trust someone enough to talk with them openly and honestly when something bothers you about them, without fear, you will strengthen that relationship to the core and it will be the best relationship of all. 

If you want to lead a positive, happy and easy life, work on becoming conscious of each time you feel let down...bring that feeling to the surface and ask yourself, "why am I feeling this way?" You will then recognize it to be an expectation you were having and now that you have brought it to the surface you can address it and then thrown it away. Like attracts like so, in the same way that not judging people brings people into your life who will not judge you, not having expectations of others will bring people into your life who will not expect anything from you.  

Live in the here and the now, no expectations, no judgments...just joy.


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. Also, please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

YOU...





-YOU-
(c) 01/2016 Kimberly D Miller

I stand back on the beach in awe of the sight of the salt-laden waves crashing to the shore,  yet they pale in the unique artistry you bring to the definition of femininity. ..
Your soul emanates purity and honesty and in my eyes you can do no wrong for when I'm with you I lose sight of all else. With a single glance you bathe me in your poetic love,  no confusion, no shrouding, I can clearly see. ..
You stand by me through thick and thin. I no longer know where you stop and I begin. ..I cease to be me when I'm with you for together we are us, hearts, minds, bodies and souls reunited as one from another realm of existence. It takes my breath away and becomes my life, all of it, for I long for you and I'm drowning in such gratitude for this gift...



We hold the illusion that we can break free but we never will. ..it's bigger than anything we have ever known and defines the eternity from which we will never leave...nor would we want to.


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. Also, please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

HAVE A FANTASY...THEY'RE FREE...

In a world where hard times abound, one thing is for sure...no one can take away your hopes, your dreams and your fantasies.


My heart and soul are constantly feeding my head with dreams and fantasies and, even through what I considered to be the toughest times in my life, no one has been successful at destroying them...though many have tried.


Affirmations will get you what you want in life and fantasies and dreams are affirmations of your wants and desires so, the more you dream about the positive wants and desires, the more you draw them to you. If you have dreams about changing your life and taking a new and positive path, you will make that happen by keeping those dreams alive.  If you fantasize about a life where everything is easy and exciting and free (my personal favorite), you will draw it to you faster by constantly fantasizing about the details in that life and your feelings about how deeply you want it. 

Fantasies come to fruition much faster when you are truly grateful for what you have and you show it. Be thankful every time one of the details of your fantasy comes to light.  Be thankful for every positive aspect as it happens.  Show that gratitude by helping others and letting others know how appreciative you are when you receive their help as well.

Most importantly...stay positive and keep that attitude! If and when you encounter things in your life that seem less than positive or easy (because that is how life rolls), remember to LET IT GO.  Let everything that is in your past...stay there!  This is a common problem but when you want to manifest good and positive changes in your life, those things in the past that we cannot seem to let go of are negative and will hinder any positive changes you seek. You have to be willing to do the work, face those fears in the past that stop you from living your fantasies and stay positive and strong.


Keep your dreams alive while living in the here and now and always be grateful for what you have and who you are.  You CAN do this!!!


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. Also, please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS...

Thanks to my friend Trish who is probably one of the most successful people I know when it comes to profound integrity (and I very much value her guidance in my life), I now know the power of the phrase, "It's none of my business." She mentioned this phrase to me awhile back during one of our conversations about bringing profound integrity into our lives.  I was pondering an issue at the time, wrestling with myself over trying to help and/or change someone who I thought needed my help.  As it turns out, when I was able to apply the, "It's none of my business," principle to the mix, it took so much stress out of the equation and my friend worked the problem out in her way and in her time, which was best for her.

I used to try so hard to please people (a version of the old me that I am so glad I changed for the better) and I would constantly offer help to people who didn't necessarily want it and usually didn't ask for it.  I guess I thought that just because I considered them friends and therefore family, that I needed to help them because I loved them.  I thought that if they confided in me then they were asking for guidance...but sometimes they just wanted me to listen.  After I began to apply this phrase to my life (and subsequently to others' lives by using it), I realized that when we offer help or advice to other people that we care about, it is best to first wait to be asked.  It's great to talk to each other and talk things out, and it's great to work out your problems together, but ultimately the decision to change has to come from the person who is living that life.  Sometimes unsolicited advice or help that is not asked for can be mistaken by others as trying to control their lives or trying to change them and, if you love a person for who they are (which is the only reason to have them in your life in the first place) then why are you trying to change them.  

Sometimes when we love someone, no matter the type of relationship (friendship, partner, family, etc), we want the best for that person and we tend to think that what we would do or how we would handle something they are going through, is the best way for them to handle it too. There are even those people who, when they give you advice or a helpful directive, will check up on you often to see if you took that advice or followed the directive. I knew a lady years ago who would basically tell me what to do whenever we chatted and then call me the next day and say, "Well, was I right? I was right, huh? I told you so."  To me this was so irritating, especially since I didn't ask for her advice in the first place. Needless to say, she and I didn't remain friends for long.

Make sure that when help or support is offered, it is offered as a gift.  A gift is something you give to another person out of love and after you give the gift, you leave it to that person to do with as they will. They can take it, they can leave it, they can give it back.  If nothing else comes of it, the joy of offering this gift in the spirit of giving is a reward within itself because you had it in you to want to help a person you cared about...when they asked you for your help.

You will be amazed by how uttering the phrase, "It's none of my business," will change how often you offer advice or even get involved in things you are not asked to get involved in.  If you think about it, it actually ends up causing you to expend so much more of your time and energy that you could have used to focus on an area of your life that needed more time and energy.  I was watching some silly sitcom on t.v. the other day and the boy said to the girl, "You really just walk around all day worrying about other peoples' feelings?" and the girl replied, "Yeah," to which the boy responded, "Wow, how do you get anything done?"  She then said, "I don't," and that brought this post to mind.  I realized that this was 100% spot on to who I used to be. How can you expect to get anything accomplished in your own life if you constantly worry about other peoples' lives? You can't, not realistically. It's very honorable to be the best friend, lover, and/or family member you can be to others, but not at the expense of your own life, especially when doing so causes stress and worry on your part. 

When you encounter a situation in which you feel compelled to offer advice without being invited to do so, say to yourself, "It's none of my business," and move on. You can say to the person, "If you ever need help or advice with that situation, let me know, I would be happy to help you."  That gives them a choice and lets them know they have you on their side and in their corner, which is really important. You will be surprised at how many people then come to you for advice more often, mainly because you merely extended the offer of help for them to use in their time and at their comfort level.  

On the other side of this coin, if you know someone who does this all the time and you find it irritating, let them know that while you appreciate their intentions of wanting to help you out, it would be more helpful to know that you could just go to them when you needed to and ask for their help on your own. 

Imagine starting a project that you are really enjoying or are passionate about and someone comes up and moves you aside and completely takes it over.  Life is a project and we each have one that we are in the process of building.  We can invite others to come and help us with it when we need it, but what are we going to learn if someone does it for us...

It's none of my business...but I'm always here to help if you need me.



Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. Also, please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK...


Time is one of those concepts  that you, and only you, can determine in your life. How often have you said, “I just didn't have the time,” or heard the excuses, i.e., “I would have come by and helped you (called you, visited you, etc.) but I just didn't have the time.” One of my personal favorites is, “I didn't get anything done this week…I just didn't have the time.” Really? NO time? Whatsoever? My philosophy is this, if you think you don't have the time or feel you don't have the time, then probably you are taking on more than you need to be taking on in your life, whether by choice or not. Let's face it…sometimes it's hard to use the word, “NO” often enough. I'm one of those people who likes to help other people so of course, when asked to lend a hand, time or no time, I always say, “sure.” It took me a lot of years, but I have recently learned a polite way to say, “I'm sorry, I have other plans that day,” or things of that nature, just so I don't feel stressed out and over wrought. Some call it selfish, but time is selfish and if we don't take some of it for ourselves, what is the point really?

Stress is a word that says your perception of things in your life is pretty much negative and that you are taking on too much. Stress does not necessarily have to be involved in your life, in any way. Planning is everything. Sure spontaneity is exciting and it sounds dull to plan in your life, but if we plan the bulk of our daily lives, we free ourselves up for spontaneity.

What would be so bad about leaving the freaking cell-phone at home a couple of days a week? Maybe going home and unplugging would ease stress as well. Don't turn on the computer or the television. Take a hot shower or bath, read a book instead. Our world is so “plugged in” and all of this technology that was created to make things easier and free up time is the very culprit of usurping our time and causing all of this stress, but that's only if we let it.  Lately, when I get home after work, I have been consciously not turning on the television or computer.  I go to my craft table and enjoy myself, no electronics involved.  I feel so relaxed after a play date in craft-land and because I have no noise in the room, it is much like meditation for me, oils burning and soft music playing in the background (wow, I'm an easy date...lol).  I can't believe the wonderful difference it makes. 

My advice here? Take a deep, diaphragmatic breath, let it out slowly and repeat four or five times. Then sit down and make of list of your week. What you normally do, your process for doing it, etc., and see how many things or steps you can eliminate. Then, reward yourself for each block of time you free up. For example, if you free up 15 minutes on a Tuesday after work, reward yourself with a leisurely 15-minute stroll through the neighborhood with your camera in hand (or music, whichever you prefer), or bring back the art of letter writing. I know a couple of my friends and I still keep that lost art alive. I love nothing more than looking for a letter in the mail. It takes away from all of the junk mail and bills and you get to read things about your friends' lives. If you're creative, hey, make a card and write a letter in that as well.


Make the time to take the time.

Shortly after posting this post I looked at the daily quote on my blog and it read as follows:

"Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man...No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.   JFK

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. Also, please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

DON'T BE AFRAID TO GO INSIDE...

This was originally posted on 12/21/2011...I was looking back at the progress in my life and could see so much growth from this post...

I'm sure you've heard the adage, "When one door closes, another door opens."  It seems this has been happening around me my entire life, but I just didn't have the insight to see them as doors.  I think I was so busy worrying about things like: how to keep money coming in for the mortgage and utilities (not to mention the 900 credit card bills), gas for the vehicles, food for my son and I, etc. 

Those of you who have followed my blog (my apologies for not keeping it up lately) know that my son and I lost our home recently and through all that trepidation still came through with so many positive things due to doors opening when others were slammed shut.  It was then that I realized that worrying does nothing but give you heartburn and indigestion, not to mention unsightly wrinkles on your face (and other places too odd to mention).  Therefore, the point in worrying became lost to me.  Why freak out about things we have no control over?  No reason I can think of.  We are all born control freaks, we can't help it.  But we can learn to let fate take the wheel and steer us where we are meant to be.  We have to stop the backseat driving (or fate will say, "Don't make me pull this car over," and we know what that means.) 

I am ever afraid of opening new doors, afraid of change and new circumstances.  It scares the hell out of me, and yet I will walk right into a "haunted" house just to see if it's haunted.   I now understand the doors and am not as leery to peek inside before I go through. Those of you who worry about EVERYTHING in your life, give fate the steering wheel or the reins and let it lead you to your destiny.  You're going to get there anywhere but maybe the journey will be a lot more fun without trying to control everything in your path.

I am really missing my mom this year, but I suspect that will be the case every year around this time (the holiday season and anniversary of her death).  I'm just so thankful for the way I was raised and for the people who took responsibility for the job.  God bless.


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. Also, please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Monday, January 4, 2016

YOU MAKE ME FEEL...

Ophir Beach - 1/4/2016
YOU MAKE ME FEEL…
If ever there was a toxic way to begin a sentence, it would be the following four words, “You make me feel…”  Wow, if only we could make every person feel the way we wanted them to feel, wouldn’t that be a great power to possess? We could make people fall in love with us, make them feel sad when we feel sad so our misery would have some company; make them feel remorse when we feel hurt by our faulted expectations of their actions, make them feel happy when they are down and the list goes on and on.
One of the healthiest attitudes we can adopt is the realization that our feelings are our own and that they reflect our image of our lives and our circumstances.  There is a saying that goes, “No one can make you feel…without your permission.”  That statement is golden in my book. It has been my experience that whenever I have felt let down by someone it has been because I had expectations of how they would/should react to the situation at hand and when I didn’t get the response or reaction I was hoping for I would get angry and say, “You made me feel…”  It was usually a negative feeling as I’m sure you gathered.  How many times have you uttered the phrase, “You hurt me?”  People always say to be careful about pointing your finger at other people because there will always be 3 fingers pointing back at you.  This is true in every emotional case.  Of course there will be those times when that statement is true in the physical sense, i.e. if someone causes you bodily harm on purpose then yes, they hurt you, but that is not the sense of the phrase I am addressing here.


Owning up to how you feel…being 100% real with you is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself.  When you take down the walls and realize you need to own up to the fact that you make yourself feel these feelings, then you can adjust to the situation at hand and make sure there are no negative connotations.  If you feel negatively at any point in that situation, then remember to adjust and ask yourself what you can do to make sure the outcome is good for you.  It amazes me that we have that power but so few of us realize that.  We think we have to feel things that other people try to thrust upon us like guilt and remorse and blame...but we don't. When that happens and someone tries to make you feel these things, try to realize that this person is having some sort of a crisis and instead of accepting this situation as your fault, you can choose either to help this person learn to accept their feelings and adjust accordingly, or cut ties.

Ultimately...you are responsible for you...that's what it boils down to.  The love you have for yourself is what shines through to the rest of the world.  When you are extremely honest with yourself and you know that you don't "make" other people feel, and that they can't "make" you feel, you will build the skills you need to live a full, honest and satisfyingly happy life and help others along the way.  It's everything.


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. Also, please respect the copyright/trademark rights of the artist's work. Copying and using any work posted here is forbidden without express permission. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Saturday, January 2, 2016

A BRAVE NEW YEAR...


To start the new year off with a positive bang, I went on a quest for the most uplifting and somewhat profound quotes I could find about life.  I hope they will inspire you:

“Kissing - and I mean like, yummy, smacking kissing - is the most delicious, most beautiful and passionate thing that two people can do, bar none. Better than sex, hands down.”  ― Drew Barrymore  (I SO feel this way about kissing...I love that she phrased it like this)

I discovered  these inspirational quotes at http://livelifehappy.com/live-life-quotes/ 
1. ”There will be haters, there will be doubters, there will be non-believers, and then there will be YOU, proving them all wrong.”
2. “And I understand. I understand why people hold hands: I’d always thought it was about possessiveness, saying ‘This is mine’. But it’s about maintaining contact. It is about speaking without words. It is about I want you with me and don’t go.”
3. ”Being classy is NOT about being stuck up, but more so about having a simply unique style that will never be forgotten. To be classy is to have respect; respect for others, respect for elders, and most of all respect for yourself.” – unknown
4. ”Don’t listen to people who tell you what to do. Listen to people who encourage you to do what you know in your heart is right.”
5. “My heart didn’t break into a thousand pieces after he left. Instead, I realized all the things he didn’t do. He didn’t want to hear my stories. He didn’t ask me questions. He didn’t smile when I was talking to him. He didn’t hug me out of the blue to make me feel good. His hugs were always a preamble to something else and after he was gone, I wondered if he ever knew me at all.” — Diane Les Becquets
6. ”Sometimes there are things in life that aren’t meant to stay. Sometimes change may not be what we want. Sometimes change is what we need.”
7. “Be strong enough to love after you’ve been hurt, but smart enough to guard your heart and be careful of whom you let in it.”
8. ”Our children need to be taught HOW to think, not WHAT to think.”
9. ”Keep in mind that someone else is happy with a lot less than what you have!”
10. “Your life will get better when you realize it’s better to be alone than to chase people who don’t really care about you.” – Thema Davis
11. ”We often just accept the things that we like, and complain a lot about the things that we don’t like. But if we could, like, intensely dwell on the really great things in life the way we intensely dwell on the negative things in life; I think that would be fantastic.” – Hank Green
12. ”Bad habits cause failure. Identify the habits holding you back and make a decision to crush them. The mentally tough mind is like a flourishing garden, and bad habits are the weeds that suffocate it. Watering the flowers without killing the weeds is an act of self-delusion.” – Steve Seibold
13. ”You are never too busy to take time out of your day for those who matter most. You can always make time.”
14. ”The moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away.”
15. ”A good relationship is worth the wait.”
16. ”Be thankful for everybody in your life, good and bad, past and present. They all made you the person that you are today.”
17. ”Don’t confuse your path with your destination, just because it’s stormy now, doesn’t mean you aren’t headed for sunshine.”
18. ”Trust is a fragile thing. Once earned, it affords us tremendous freedom. But once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover. Of course the truth is, we never know who we can trust. Those we’re closest to can betray us, and total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned.” – Mary Alice
19. ”Authentic happiness isn’t something we can go out and get, buy, beg, borrow or steal, it’s only something we can be, and it’s a choice we make with every breath we take.” – Dennis Meritt Jones
20. “Once in a while, amidst all your bad days, you’ll have a good day. A great day even. Make sure you remember those days. Keep them safely in your pockets, maybe even a jar on your desk because you need to know that there are and will be better days. You need to remember how on those days you felt warm inside, like you’ve just drunk a hot cup of tea; like a small fire was ignited inside of you. Hold on to that warmth. And never let it go.”
21. From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says, “I survived.” – Craig Scott
22. ”The best gift a man can give to his woman is his time, his attention and his love.”
23. “You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it’ll be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.” – John Green
24. “As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you – the first time around.” – Oprah
25. ”You have within you, right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.” – Brian Tracy
26. ”Never be satisfied. Always strive to improve no matter how good you think you are.”
27. ”Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.”
28. ”Don’t use the past as an excuse to miss out on your future.” – Alan Cohen
29. ”I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know that there’s nothing but light when I see you.” – Shinji Moon
30. ”Love is not who you can see yourself with it is who you can’t see yourself without.” – Unknown
31. ”Loneliness is not lack of company, loneliness is lack of purpose.” – Guillermo Maldonado
32. ”If you don’t love it then you won’t take care of it. If you won’t take care of it then someone else will.”
33. ”Sometimes in life we just need someone who will be there for us. Someone who will listen. Someone who will understand.”
34. ”An amazing thing happens when you get honest with yourself and start doing what you love, what makes you happy. Your life literally slows down. You stop wishing for the weekend. You stop merely looking forward to special events. You begin to live in each moment and you start feeling like a human being. You just ride the wave that is life, with this feeling of contentment and joy. You move fluidly, steadily, calm and grateful. A veil is lifted, and a whole new perspective is born.”
35. “Stop waiting for Friday, for summer, for a boy to fall in love with you. Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make something of the moment you’re in right now.”
36. ”You have to speak to be heard, but sometimes you have to be silent to be appreciated.”
37. ”Don’t ruin today by reliving yesterday’s problems.”
38. ”Live and let go. Do not be held down by what you can’t control.”
39. “In life, I have made a lot mistakes and I have felt a lot of pain, but mistakes make me wiser and pain makes me stronger.”
40. “I don’t regret the things I’ve done. I regret the things I didn’t do when I had the chance.”
41. “The secret of success: stop wishing, start doing.”
42. “Keep calm and focus on the positive.”
43. “True friends won’t grow apart, even if they don’t talk everyday.”
44. “Surround yourself with the people who make you better, and you will have better outcomes.”
45. “Always pray to have eyes that see the best, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith.”
46. “Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine.” – Mario Fernandez
47. ”You have to speak to be heard, but sometimes you have to be silent to be appreciated.”
48. “There will always be a reason why you meet people. Either you need them to change your life or you’re the one that will change theirs.” – Angel Flonis Harefa
49. “Decide what makes you happy and fight for it.”
50. “You may not know what is going to happen when you try, but if you do not try nothing will happen.”
51. ”Just because someone desires you, does not mean that they value you.”
52. “Don’t let people make you feel bad or guilty for living your life. It is your life. Live it the way you want.”
53. “Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.” – Daniell Koepke
54. “Who the fuck cares where you went to school or where you work? The question is: Is everyday experience good, healthy, beautiful? Because I have to tell you, while it might be cool to work for a company like Google, Apple, or The New Yorker, if your job is stupid, stressful and your boss is an asshole, there is nothing good or prestigious about that. While it might seem right to go to a school like Berkeley, if classes are overcrowded and students are nervous, anxious, religious zealots from Orange County, are you sure you want to go there? What’s good about that? To believe in prestige is to privilege abstract, collective impression over palpable, daily experience. To which I say: fuck prestige. Do what serves your everyday vitality.” – Daniel Coffeen
55. “A real relationship will make it through anything.”
56. “Don’t rush and never settle. If it’s meant to be, it will be.”
57. ”And kid, you’ve got to love yourself. You’ve got wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee, and stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn. You’ve got to sit next to the man at the train station who’s reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You’ve got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you’ve got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought for four dollars at the local grocery store. You’ve got to stop taking everything so goddam personally. You are not the moon kissing the black sky. You’ve got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You’ve got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that won’t matter in two years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You’ve got to stop worrying about what you’re going to tell her when she finds out. You’ve got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over six months ago. You’ve got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. Fuck it. Love yourself, kiddo. You’ve got to love yourself.”
58. ”Oscar Wilde said that if you know what you want to be, then you inevitably become it – that is your punishment, but if you never know, then you can be anything. There is a truth to that. We are not nouns, we are verbs. I am not a thing – an actor, a writer – I am a person who does things – I write, I act – and I never know what I am going to do next. I think you can be imprisoned if you think of yourself as a noun.” – Stephen Fry
59. ”I think everything in life is art. What you do. How you dress. The way you love someone, and how you talk. Your smile and your personality. What you believe in, and all your dreams. The way you drink your tea. How you decorate your home. Or party. Your grocery list. The food you make. How your writing looks. And the way you feel. Life is art.” – Helena Bonham Carter
60. ”I want to get more comfortable being uncomfortable. I want to get more confident being uncertain. I don’t want to shrink back just because something isn’t easy. I want to push back, and make more room in the area between I can’t and I can.” – Kristin Armstrong
61. ”If you continuously compete with others, you become bitter, but if you continuously compete with yourself, you become better.”
62. “Happiness isn’t about getting what you want all the time, it’s about loving what you have.”
63. ”Don’t ruin today by reliving yesterday’s problems.”
64. ”Live and let go. Do not be held down by what you can’t control.”
65. ”You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”
66. ”You can’t fight for a place in someone’s life because no matter how hard you try to keep your place they’ll put you where they want to even if it’s not where you should be.”
67. ”Love your mother, the most beautiful person on this earth. Our best critic, yet our strongest supporter.”
68. “Value not the things you have in life, but rather who you have in life.”
69. “Just because one thing doesn’t go right doesn’t mean your life is ruined, Stay Positive!”
70. “Sometimes we must accept that God has a better plan.”
71. ”Before you see the rainbow, you see the rain. If you want to reach your goals, you have to be able to put up with the pain.”
72. ”If life were easy, we would be bored. That’s why we are faced with challenges everyday, so that we can work to make ourselves happy.”
73. ”Be a warrior not a worrier.”
74. ”Don’t overthink. Just let it go.”
75. ”Today is the youngest you’ll ever be, start appreciating it. It’s also the oldest you’ve ever been, start acting like it.”
76. ”Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect and attention that you should be showing yourself.”
77. ”Because it´s only when you’re tested that you truly discover who you are. And it´s only when you’re tested that you discover who you can be. The person that you want to be does exist, somewhere in the other side of hard work and faith, and belief and beyond the heartache and fear of what life has.”
78. “There is something inexpressibly beautiful about the world when the sun begins to rise and fill the dim sky with soft rays of light and only the birds are awake to sing to you “good morning”, while everyone else is curled up in their beds, unaware of the magnificence they’re missing and everything feels so simple. It’s as if six a.m. is an epiphany that sparks at your fingertips and spreads until you are encompassed entirely by a feeling of clarity. There is something inexpressibly beautiful about being awake to behold the splendor of this world while everyone else is still asleep.” – Madisen Kuhn
79. ”If you spend your life living in the negative, you do not really live at all. Instead, you remain stuck in time forgetting there is a future. Learn to forgive and forget and move on. Hatred is a strong word and depression can be stopped. Confidence is key. You are the only one that can make yourself depressed. So learn to stop it. Do the things that make you happy and everything you want will surely find you.” – Caitlin Furby
80. ”Sometimes what you’re looking for comes when you’re not looking at all.”
81. ”No matter how long it takes, it will get better.”
82. ”Some people will better your life by being in it, while others will better it by staying out.”
83. ”Never let a bad situation bring out the worst in you. Choose to stay positive and be strong.”
84. ”Sometimes the words we leave unspoken are the most important ones that should have been said.”
85. ”Remember how blessed you are to see another day.”
86. ”God has perfect timing; never early, never late. It takes a little patience and it takes a lot of faith but it’s worth the wait.”
87. ”A real relationship will make it through anything.”
88. ”Don’t rush and never settle. If it’s meant to be, it will be.”
89. ”How you make others feel about themselves, says a lot about you.”
90. ”You are not a rug…everyone may try to walk all over you, but you do not have to lie there and take it!” – Linda Poindexter
91. ”Don’t let your search for a happy ending get in the way of living a happy life.”
92. ”We lose the people we love because they are meant to love someone else. We lose them because we are destined to find somebody else. It is a simple fact that is sometimes hard to accept because we are too stubborn to let go of something that doesn’t belong to us, even if it seems like it.”
93. ”Don’t let the person who didn’t love you keep you from the person who will.”
94. ”When you choose to forgive those who have hurt you, you take away their power.”
95. ”Don’t wish for it, work for it.”
96. “The decision to be positive is not one that disregards or belittles sadness that exists. It is rather a conscious choice to focus on the good and to cultivate happiness – genuine happiness. Happiness is not a limited resource. When we devote our energy and time to trivial matters and choose to stress over things that ultimately are insignificant, from that point, we perpetuate our own sadness and lose sight of the things that really make us happy and rationalize our way out of doing amazing things.” – Christopher Aiff
97. ”Stop stressing, let go, and move on.”
98. ”You will never be happy if you continue to hold on to the things that make you sad.”
99. ”When you’re going through tough times, don’t worry. Things will get better and you’ll get stronger.”
100. The past is meant to teach you and the hard times are meant to strengthen you.
101. ”Sometimes we fall down because there is something down there we’re supposed to find.”
102. ”Drama does not just walk into your life. You either create it, invite it, or you associate with people who love to bring it into your life.”
103. ”No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella and survive the storm together.”
104. ”The best way to move forward is to let go of the people holding you back.”
105. ”Don’t let your happiness be controlled by something you can’t control.”
106. ”Pain can change you, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a bad change. Take that pain and turn it into wisdom.”
107. ”Stop comparing where you’re at with where everyone else is. It doesn’t move you farther ahead, improve your situation, or help you find peace. It just feeds your shame, fuels your feelings of inadequacy, and ultimately, it keeps you stuck. The reality is that there is no one correct path in life. Everyone has their own unique journey. A path that’s right for someone else won’t necessarily be a path that’s right for you. And that’s okay. Your journey isn’t right or wrong, or good or bad. It’s just different. Your life isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s because you aren’t like anyone else. You’re a person all your own with a unique set of goals, obstacles, dreams, and needs. So stop comparing, and start living. You may not have ended up where you intended to go. But trust, for once, that you have ended up where you needed to be. Trust that you are in the right place at the right time. Trust that your life is enough. Trust that you are enough.” – Daniell Koepke
108. ”Another day, another blessing and another chance at life.”
109. ”Stressing and complaining will change nothing. Take action, make a change, and never look back.”
110. ”We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering -these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love – these are what we stay alive for.” – Dead Poets Society
111. ”You are valuable because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done – but simply because you are.” – Max Lucado
112. ”Everyone has an untold story hidden behind closed doors, try to understand that people are not always as they first seem.”
113. ”It takes one positive thought to change your life, just one positive thought. So why spend your time thinking negatively?”
114. ”Life is too short to spend it at war with yourself.”
115. “You can’t bring back the past, and you’re not promised the future, so enjoy life now.”
116. “How you make others feel about themselves, says a lot about you.”
117. “Faith is knowing and believing, not wondering and doubting.”
118. “Don’t change who you are for someone else, you deserve someone who appreciates you for you.”
119. ”Sometimes you just have to deal with the fact that life doesn’t always go your way.”
120 ”The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.” – Juliette Lewis
121. ”The people who are still with you at the end of the day are the ones worth keeping.”
122. ”Every end is a new beginning.”
123. ”I’ve been a paperboy, a stripper, a paralegal and barista. At one point I even worked a graveyard shift at a gas station inside a bullet-proof booth, and I’ve made sandwiches at Subway for minimum wage. I’ve managed executive offices from art galleries to software development companies, and prepared burritos at Whole Foods and rotisserie chickens at Costco. I was a photographer for 13 years, a bus-boy at The Cheesecake Factory for three minutes (shortest job I’ve ever had), and spent countless hours in numerous kitchens feeding the hungry. I drafted multi-billion dollar contracts at prestigious law firms for ten years, and made smoothies at Jamba Juice for two. From publishing a book, to cleaning bathrooms or mopping floors, NONE of the things I have done DEFINE me. Does that make sense? Do you see what I mean? What and who I am has absolutely nothing to do with what I have done when I was younger, nor what I’m currently doing. Who I am is not defined by how much or how little money I have, the clothes I wear, or the vehicle I drive wherever I live. I don’t identify myself by those things, which is good because they’re all so temporary.. lol… those aren’t even all the jobs I’ve had (and I’m only 36).. It’s important to have an identity that surpasses a job title on a business card, or a status deemed by the bank or society. What I am, regardless of those things, is an instrument of peace. That is my mission, my purpose.. my Ikigai! If we bring integrity to whatever we do in the world, then we are being of service to others whether we wash dishes in the back of a restaurant, perform complex brain surgeries, manage thousands of employees, drive a bus, fight fires, or raise children at home. Life is not a hierarchy, it’s a celebration! And love is not a word, it’s an invitation. So strive to love who you are. No. Matter. What.” – Timber Hawkeye
124. ”Don’t worry. If it’s supposed to happen, it will.”
125. ”When someone is going through a storm, your silent presence is more powerful than a million empty words.” – Thema Davis
I found these great quotes at: http://www.motivationalwellbeing.com:
“Life is not measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.”
– Hilary Cooper

“Believe in yourselves. Dream. Try. Do good.”
– Mr. Feeny (Boy Meets World)

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
– Oprah Winfrey
When things are going great, plenty of people will stand by you but it’s the people who will stand by you even when things aren’t going great who count. These are the people who will cheer you on and encouraging you during the toughest times. These are the types of people you want in your life.

“A day without a laugh is a wasted day.”
– Charles Chaplin
There are times to take life seriously but remember that if happiness is what you’re after, achieving it can be as easy as adding more laughter into your life.

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”
– Oprah Winfrey
Success breeds success. Happiness breeds happiness. The more you are of what you want, the more of what you want will be a part of who you are.

“Let your life mean something. Become an inspiration to others so that they may try to do more and to become more than they are today.”
– Thomas D. Willhite
All the struggles you go through to obtain your most desired goal will be worth it when you realize your success doesn’t just stop with you. It can create a ripple effect that can positively change the lives of thousands or even millions of people.

“Life is uncharted territory. It reveals its story one moment at a time.”
– Leo Buscaglia
Life is not predetermined. Nothing is written in stone. You can make your life turn out however you want.

“Life is a game. In order to have a game, something has to be more important than something else. If what already is, is more important than what isn’t, the game is over. So, life is a game in which what isn’t, is more important than what is. Let the good times roll.”
– Werner Erhard

“A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction.”
– Rita Mae Brown
Instead of waiting for life to happen to you and then reacting to it in a hectic manner, take control of it by being proactive.

“If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.”
– Einstein
Do good because you feel it’s the right thing to do.

“Whether we’re prepared or not, life has a habit of thrusting situations upon us.”
– Lucille Ball
Prepare for the challenges that life will throw at you. It doesn’t matter if you’re ready for it or not, it’s coming. You could be a smart student who got a bad test score because you didn’t study but in the eyes of the grader, it doesn’t matter what your excuse is. What matters is your results.

“I am living dying, when I should be dying living.”
– Kersti Bryan
You can live to 100 years old and still not truly live a day in your life. Don’t be a walking corpse waiting to be buried. Grab life and embrace it. Do the things you’ve always wanted to do. Enjoy your life while you’ve still got it.

“Every second that you live you are never going to get back. You are never going to get to change what you said, didn’t say, did, or didn’t do. Live how you want to live. Act how you want to be remembered, because you never know how long or short you are going to be here.”
– Emily Doberstein

“Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.”
– Will Rogers
If you had live cameras on you 24/7, how would you live your life differently?

“If you live just for today, to make today the most successful, happy day of your life, I am sure that you will have an extraordinary life. A successful life is nothing more than a series of successful days.”
– Unknown
Experiencing a happy or successful life simply comes down to having happy or successful days so focus on what you can do today to create the life that you want.

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”
– Ashely Smith
The life you experience will largely depend on what you notice and focus on. Whether good or bad, it’s up to you.

“We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.”
– Calvin & Hobbes
The present moment is all you have, all you can control, all you can really experience so learn to enjoy the now.

“Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.”
– Og Mandino

“Love Life. Do Good. Live Well.”
– Kevin Ngo
Life is truly a gift, treasure it. Make a positive difference in the world, however small. Take care of yourself physically and financially so you have the energy and the means to enjoy our life and help those around you.

“Just because you are seventy is no excuse to give up and let others make your decisions for you. The fact that you are still alive is reason enough to believe that you are here for a purpose; and that purpose is to learn, to teach, and to GIVE.”
– Thomas D. Willhite
Until the day you die, live!

“No matter what age you are, or what your circumstances might be, you are special, and you still have something unique to offer. Your life, because of who you are, has meaning.”
– Barbara De Angelis

“There are two things to aim at in life; first to get what you want, and after that to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind has achieved the second.”
– Logan Pearsall Smith
Remember when you used to want the things you now have? Learn to be appreciate everything that is in your life. This doesn’t mean to be content with what you have. It just means to remember some of the things you now have in your life once excited you.

“I have noticed that folks are generally about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
– Abraham Lincoln
Happiness is a choice that you make each and every day. If you’re unhappy right now, realize that you chose to feel this way.

“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin… But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid.Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”
– Alfred Souza
Don’t let life get in the way of getting the things you want. It’s easy to get caught up in the day to day errands of life and continue to put of your dreams so make an effort to stay focused on what you want.

“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.”
– Mary Ann Radmacher

“The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.”
– Tom Bodett
There’s no better teacher than life. Try. Whether you fail or succeed, it will be an experience.

“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.”
– Robert Byrne
You have a choice of living an aimless life or living a purposeful life. You choose.

“Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt
Life can be scary at times. You can either hide in a dark corner and wait until time takes your life away or you can make the best of it while you’re still here.

“Whoever is happy will make others happy too. He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery.”
– Anne Frank

“Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.”
– Earl Nightingale-

“The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live.”
– Elbert Hubbard-
Preparation is important but it can also paralyze you. Taking action alone can teach you a lot of things by giving you experience whether good or bad.

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
– Annie Dillard-
Your life experience is just an accumulation of your daily experiences. Want to create a more fulfilling life? Start by creating more fulfilling days.

“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”

“Life is a succession of moments. To live each one is to succeed.”
– Corita Kent

“Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.”
– Danny Kaye
Life is to be experienced. Put yourself out there. Do things you’ve never done. Live a life where at the end, you will have no regrets.

“Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.”
– Isak Dinesen
Most of the things people worry about are things that won’t even matter to them a few months from now.

“Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.”
– Shari R. Barr
The only thing that you can really expect out of life is that no matter what kind of person you are, there will be good times and there will be bad times.

“If you want to make life easy, make it hard.
– Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
When you are a type of person who is on top of things, who does what needs to be done, who puts in the hard work, who avoids taking the easy way out, you create a strong mentality, one that can withstand just about any blow life can throw at you. If you aren’t that type of person, even the slightness nudge from life can be enough to knock you over.

“These then are my last words to you. Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.”
– William James-

“Life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it.” – Charles Swindoll
The bad things in life happen to everyone. Don’t let what happens to you determine how your life will play out. Rely on your reactions to what happens to you instead. When you’re faced with life challenges, you can either throw in the towel and spend the rest of your complaining about how unfair life has been to you or you can take action and use those challenges as fuel to fight for the life you want to live.

In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don’t try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.
– Lao-tzu-

“Some days life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here we should dance.”
– Unknown-

“One day at a time – this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone: and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.”
– Ida Scott Taylor-

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
– Abraham Lincoln
Life isn’t about how long you live, life is about how much fun you have while you’re living.

“Learn from the past, live for today, work for the future.”
– Stefan Rudolph-

“Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back.”
– Arthur Rubinstein
What you put out comes back to you. If you want more good in your life, do more good.

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.”
– Gerard Way
Just like how you wouldn’t want to sit through an uneventful movie, you probably wouldn’t want to reach the end of your life and realize how little of it is worth remembering. Use the time you have left, no matter how much time you may feel you have already wasted, to make the remainder of your time here worth remembering.

“Certain things in life simply have to be experienced and never explained. Love is such a thing.”
– Paulo Coelho

“Life doesn’t get better until you get better.”
– Unknown
I wish you a brave, new year...may you always find the courage to be who you want to be and live it true!!!

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