WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO MEAN...

For the longest time I could not understand why people feel the need to be mean to one another.  It starts in childhood for some of us and can continue into adulthood in a bad way if we are not careful and able to grow and change for the better. I see so much evidence of this lately, during this, the holiday season, when people should strive to be kinder to one another.

Being mean is a sign of insecurity, of needing attention (albeit negative attention), of jealousy and internal misery. People who are intentionally mean to others do so out of a sense of the world not being fair to them so they strike out at others who "seem" to have it all together. They turn their internal misery outward and blame others for their sense of insecurity and negative circumstances.

One of the best ways to deal with mean people is not to personalize it.  When people are mean to you try to understand that they are just miserable with their own lives and circumstances and are just using you for target practice. I have begun to see that when people treat me badly and, while I understand that it is not directed at me personally (even though I am the one being attacked), I choose to try to help them if they will let me.  Sometimes that is a feat in itself, but I love it when that works out.  However, if I am not able to help them despite all of my efforts, the last thing I do is to get them out of my life and keep them there. There is no reason to have to constantly deal with mean and negative people who refuse to change.

Taylor Swift has a great song out called, "Mean."  I love the lyrics in general, but especially these in the middle:

"You, with your switching sides
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation
You have pointed out my flaws again
As if I don't already see them
I walk with my head down,
Try to block you out 'cause I never impress you
I just want to feel okay again

I bet you got pushed around
Somebody made you cold but the cycle ends right now
'Cause you can't lead me down that road
And you don't know what you don't know

Someday I'll be living in a big old city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?"

I added the emphasis to the bold, highlighted areas as those are the words that really spoke to me.  I am SO tired of people who point out my "flaws" (as they are only "flaws" in their eyes). People who do this have a need to try to take you down a peg by belittling you, but with me it will not work. I am to the point that people who try to point out traits of mine in a negative way and do so continually, even after discussions, are no longer in my life. 

It is so beneficial, especially during a quest for a positive life filled with freedom and a true sense of who you are, to be kind to yourself and you don't have to have people in your life who treat you badly, obviously physically, but even more so, emotionally. 

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