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Tuesday, December 29, 2015

FAILURE EXPECTED AND RECEIVED...


Failure Expected And Received...F   E   A   R...is there anything sillier than that? I think not!!!  But it's true...what you expect is what you usually receive so if you expect negative results then they will be granted.

There are many acronyms for the word FEAR, however most of them are negative and I conclude that the reason for that is because fear is a negative reaction...not even a "re"action in some cases but rather a "fore"action as in the case of worry.  Why not give the word a positive acronym to start and then maybe people would realize that it is a totally unreasonable and unnecessary emotion. Let's use this one...Face Everything And Rejuvenate...F.E.A.R...or Forfeit Every Asinine Reason...I like those...lol.  

As humans, homo sapiens, we have a fight-or-flight response built into our psyches for protection. When something stands before us that threatens us in any way, our minds/bodies react with fear out of that fight-or-flight reaction in order to trigger a response that would counteract the situation and save us from the threat.  That is what I call gut-fear...instinctive and at times, even healthy.  That being said however, fear, in my book, has no other place and should never, ever come into play.  

One day I made up a saying that, "Fear is but anticipation of a negative result," and I stand by it to this day. Have I conquered and eliminated fear completely out of my life? Not even close, but way, way closer than ever before in my life. I can now identify what is fear and what is real. Let's use worry as the best explanation here.  When we worry, we are fearful that in the future a situation could bring a worst-case-scenario result. Then, the "what ifs" begin in our head...what if it doesn't work out? What if it does? What if he/she dumps me? What if I dump him/her? What if it hurts? What if I die? What if he/she dies? What if I have an accident? What if I can't make the payment? What if my car doesn't start? What if I'm homeless? What if I'm sick? What if I get divorced? What if I can't get what I want out of life before I die?  The answer to the last question is this...you most likely won't get what you want out of life before you die if all you do is worry, worry and worry, because you're too busy worrying about everything to let life happen as it is supposed to for you.

What can I do about my worrying you may ask (a little worried...lol).  A couple of things.  The first is to begin to recognize when it happens because much of the time worry is habitual and you don't even realize that you initially approach every situation in this way. You can track it by carrying around a small "worry journal" as I call it, and each time you have a thought or make a comment that you recognize as worry, write it down.  Make some columns in your journal like "The Situation" then write about what you were doing when you had the thought, "The worry" write down the thought/worry, and "The worst-case scenario," write down what would happen if the worst part of that worry actually occurred and what you could do to prevent or stop it.  Then ask yourself this question, "What does any of that have to do with the right here and the right now?"  It may occasionally pertain to the moment, but 99 percent of the time it won't.  It will be a projection into a future that hasn't happened yet and let's face it, we don't really ever know if we are going to get a future every night that we lay ourselves down to sleep, and, if we do get one, we don't know how much of one we may have left.

Worry boils down to one, main issue...CONTROL.  I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have no control.  You have the illusion of control and you can make free-will choices, but you will never control the outcome of a situation...it is what it is and will always be what it is meant to be.  The journey is the prize.  We can make our journey through a situation, pushing and pulling, fighting and worrying and fretting and freaking out, losing all sight of the journey itself for our need to control it, or we can let go, enjoy the ride, feel the wind in our hair, smell the fresh air, breathe in the aroma of the roses and the sea, have total faith that it will work out wonderfully in some or all ways and that we can handle the outcome because there will always be positive aspects to it, if not positive in its entirety. 

Fear stops us from living life and when that happens, we are simply wasting very precious time.  Worrying, the worst form of fear in my opinion, comes when we project into the future and depression comes when we live in the past.  The only thing we can do is to live IN the moment and from one moment to the next because that is all we actually have. That, along with faith, which is blind, but strong, is when we find the positive and when we find the positive, we find the joy in the journey and that is what life is all about, the joy in the journey



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