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Saturday, November 7, 2015

LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES...



LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES...

While I am aware that this was an old song title, it is also a deep and profound observation for how we, as humans, live our lives. 

So many of us actively seek love instead of letting it come into our lives as it may.  I was talking with a woman yesterday who kept using the phrase, "When I find love," and I asked her what she meant by that, although I was already certain of the answer. She stated that she had been looking for years for that special someone to love who would be "the one."  I asked her how she was "looking," and she said that she was online on several dating sites and joined several local singles groups and frequented bars.  As our conversation progressed she made many self-deprecating remarks about her looks and personality.  I then realized, even by the way she held herself, that this wonderful person had little to no self-esteem.  While I commended her efforts of getting out there and seeking "the one," I also knew in my heart that unless she found comfort in who she was, she most likely would never find the right "one."

We, as humans, seek love and understanding from others, but many of us overlook the approval of the most important person...us.  We need to seek inwardly before seeking out.  I once heard the expression, if you don't love yourself, how do you expect others to...I love this expression.  I notice that when I am attracted to a person it is their self-confidence, self-love and comfort in their own skin that I find the most attractive.  Even people who I am not immediately attracted to by physical attributes, can become wildly attractive as I get to know them because of their confidence and comfort with themselves.  

How do I love myself you may ask?  My question to you is this...how can you not?  You spend more time with you than with anyone else on the planet. If you are doing things and saying things in your daily life that you yourself do not approve of, then turn that around and do and say only things that make you proud of yourself. If you are not happy with what you see when you look in the mirror, then try different looks that will make you happy with your outward image.  Find the things you think are not working for you, identify them beyond a shadow of a doubt, and turn them to your advantage. Praise yourself for your achievements and forgive yourself for your failures because you are after all, only human. Once you have done that you will find yourself irresistible and when that happens, so will everyone else. 


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