IF I COULD GIVE YOU ANYTHING...

If I could give you anything, I'd give you back yourself...this is my oath to you. I have always wanted to help people, but I never really knew exactly how I wanted to accomplish that, until I became a life coach. I feel the greatest joy from knowing that I have helped someone find themselves and start living the life they truly want to live...the life that fulfills them in every way and makes all their dreams come true. The reason this is so important to me is because of finally achieving it for myself. I wouldn't say that I have absolutely everything in place the way I want it to be, but I am fast on the track to getting there and will not stop until I am living it true.


In living a life in which you are not 1000% satisfied you settle for certain things because at some point in your past you thought you had to or couldn't do any better and the decisions you made during negative times in your life are still haunting you but I want you to know, these are not life sentences. You CAN turn things around. When I tell people this the first thing they usually immediately say back to me is this, “Yes, but if do that I might hurt (insert peoples' names here).” And then they say, “...but I might lose my (insert material possessions here), and what about this job that I've had forever (that they usually hate, by the way).” They are also afraid of what people will think about them and what they will say about them behind their backs and to this I always reply, “Really? People who barely know you shouldn't concern you and people who do know you will accept and love you when you make the choice to be truly happy because they love you and want only happiness for you...anyone else in your life who may disapprove, should not be in it.” People become so comfortable with their lives, even when they are dissatisfied and frustrated and often miserable, but they are afraid to go outside of that comfort zone to make the changes to become who they are meant to be, who they need to be and desire so deeply to be.


It was extremely hard for me to sell off my life in Arizona and move to a state in which I knew not a single soul. I could so easily say that I gave up my job of 6 years, my house of 14 years, all the antiques I had collected over a lifetime, my friends, my familiarity and comfort...or I could say that I gained the joy of the most beautiful scenery by the sea with the feel of my youth, the nicest community it has been my pleasure to discover, a job that is fun and so much less stressful than my last one and which I actually enjoy going to every day, new friends, new experiences, new and fresh things to discover every day and a brand new attitude. I've learned to love myself and therefore how to love others in a healthy manner. I've learned to allow only positive and loving people into my life and respect myself enough to know that I deserve this...I deserve good and wonderful things in my life and I can have them and it's okay. I can not only satisfy my need to be who I am meant to be, but I can now help others because of it and that was my ultimate life path, but I first had to help myself to get there. I had to have deep faith to do this because I had only so much money to live on and I knew if I didn't find a job or a cheap place to live quickly I could be on the streets, but something told me to just have faith and move forward, no matter the results because everything would work out just fine...and it has thus far and it will continue to do so. I now attract positive experiences and people into my life and nothing less will do.



You were you once, when you were young and free and it didn't occur to you to be anything or anyone else. Time and circumstances changed that...changed you and it can be undone. You CAN be you...the real you...you just need strong faith and conviction and you have to want it...I mean really want it all the way down to your should and if I can help you achieve this in any way I would love nothing more...so, to you I say, “If I could give you anything, I'd give you back yourself.”  


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

TAROT CARDS FOR BREAKFAST...

Every day that I am allowed to wake up and have a shot at another day, I am so grateful. I begin by waking up slowly and savoring the rest I feel from the previous nights' slumber. I then tend to my grooming and nutrition needs and return to my room where I pull 5 (as that is my life number) angel tarot cards and have them for breakfast, so to speak.  I pull angel tarot cards because angels had always surrounded my mother and eventually myself, but you can find tarot cards to reflect pretty much anything you are into these days. For me, this is one of the ways that I receive life messages from my angels and I like knowing each morning what they hold in store for me. 

I pull a card from each of my five decks in the morning and read their full meanings through their respective guide books. I love cards by Doreen Virtue...the first deck is called, “Angel Therapy,” the second, “Archangel Oracle Cards,” the third, “The Romance Angels,” the fourth, “Messages From Your Angels,” and the fifth is a deck by Stewart Pearce entitled, “Angels of Atlantis.” I feel that my angels guide me all day every day and getting that start to my day with the cards makes me feel energized and gives me a sense of purpose. Even if you don't believe in the power of tarot, think of it as the power of suggestion as well. When I read a card that states that, “the worst in now behind (me),” then that is the message I send to myself. Believing that makes my life feel positive and ready to forge ahead with confidence.


Let me share an example of a reading. This was Friday's tarot breakfast and it had me in an excellent mood all day:


The first card, from the Angel Therapy deck was the Twin Flame card which reads, “You drew this card because your twin flame is intricately involved with the answer to your question. A twin flame is a romantic partner who originated from your spiritual soul group—that is, he or she is “the one” in terms of soul-mate relationships. Often twin flames incarnate together during their last lifetime on Earth—after that reincarnation cycle has been completed, all karma has been balanced.”


The second card, from the Archangel Oracle Cards deck was Overcoming Difficulties, which reads, “The challenges you've faced have made you stronger and have taught you new lessons. Instead of becoming bitter, you've opened your heart with compassion toward people in similar situations. You've let go of any blame or feelings of victimhood. This is why you're now overcoming your previous challenges. Your positive outlook is attracting a loving solution and new situations at a lighter level of spiritual understanding. Stay positive!”


The third card, from the Romance Angels deck was Romantic Feelings, which read, “The stirrings within your heart represent the song of romance calling to you. This card comes to you as guidance to follow the pathway of those feelings. Perhaps you've met someone who made your heart leap, and you wondered whether to pursue him or her. Well, this card says that the answer is yes. Take action by flirting, asking the person out on a date, or making your feelings known.”


The fourth card, from the Messages From Your Angels deck was Chantall, which read, “New romance is imminent. You have been hungering for more romance and passion, and your prayer is answered. I am a Romance angel, and I am here to help you. New love is on its way to you, and you can open the door to this romance by opening your heart. The more that you welcome new love with open arms, the more romance will come your way. This also means that you must express yourself romantically toward your partner. Be candid about your feelings and intentions. Be playful and most of all, be openly loving with your partner as a way of encouraging the flow of romance to return to you.”


The fifth card, from the Angels of Atlantis deck was Zaphkiel, Romance, which read, “Zaphkiel is aware of the yearnings that currently exude from your heart, and intuitively receives the strong desire of your emotional body for the joy of romance, whether this be in new love or in an existing relationship. This stirring is often related to the fact that an ideal of love has not been experienced for some time. Explore this notion, truly identifying what that could be. The angels are returning you to a higher vibration of love, so don't cling tightly to the idea of love from your past, and be prepared to embark on a new way of loving. This is a time of wondrous changes in your loving propensities. Trust that Zaphkiel will work this out for your highest good.”


I am a hopeful romantic and as such I was so excited by this reading and therefore my day had me hopeful, excited, full of love and happiness and lost in thoughts of romance and positive ways that I can turn my old relationship issues around and find new ways to love and, more importantly for me, be loved. I have always been able to love to the fullest, but to be loved has always been difficult due to trust issues.



Whatever you can do to create a positive start to your day that harms no one, not even yourself (yes, I am also a practicing Wiccan), is something you would be wise to consider. The tone that is set by how your morning begins will govern the tone of your entire day. Start it off with a huge positive outlook, even if it means having tarot cards for breakfast.


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

TRUST IS GLASS...

In cleaning up my blog just now I came across a number of draft posts that I had written but then never followed through and published for one reason or another.  After reading this one, and remembering back to when I wrote it (over three years ago, right before yet another bad relationship decision on my part...lol) I had to publish it to remind myself that I have come so very far since writing this post and because of the people I choose to have in my current life, I have made huge progress in the trust and relationship departments.  

"Trust is glass. I say this because anything that can be broken that easily and pieced back together with glue, must be made of glass. I've grown up with the expression, “forgive and forgret,” but I have to say that for me, the forgiveness is extremely hard and like hell will I forget. I don't think you should forget, it isn't healthy. These are lessons in our life and we need to heed them, learn from them and then let them go...not forget them, but let them go to the place within us that they are meant to live until we need them again, if and when another lesson is needed.


I always have high hopes going into a new relationship, be it friendship, love, marriage, partnership, etc. Some people can trust so easily. I used to be one of those people, but I let time and my bad taste in people really screw that up and now I really have no trust in humanity in general. Not to say that I won't ever again trust someone, but I feel sorry for the next person who wants to be in my life on a regular basis because they are really going to have to prove themselves when it comes to keeping their word. We have all been hurt in different ways, but the worst one for me are people who say they WILL do something, i.e. that they will meet me somewhere, do a favor for me, call me, text me, whatever the case may be. If you actually tell me you are going to do something, then I expect that you will follow through because I trust you to do so, and if situations arise where you can't, then a simple and quick text or email or something to that effect will suffice, but DON'T leave me hanging. It's the one thing on which I will no longer bend. I have been used so much in the past and then pushed aside when people are done with me but I can no longer stand to be shoved off, and if I start a new relationship and this happens again, it WILL be a deal breaker and I will be done with the relationship. I finally have respect for myself and will no longer be treated with anything but respect and common, human courtesy, and why would you accept anything less in your life. To some this may sound harsh, but others know that we all have breaking points where trust is concerned and the way we have been treated, or let ourselves be treated in the past, will dictate those breaking points.


Once trust is broken, just like glass, it is hard to put it back together again, and even if you manage, it will only ever be as strong as the parts that were mended will allow.



I hope everyone who reads this post and knows their breaking point, will bring those issues to the surface and face them head on. It will be at that point that you can move on and the right person, the one who will earn and deserve your trust, will move into your life."

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE...

The power of the mind is an incredible thing, but it makes so much sense when you think about what vibrational beings we are that we create our own realities through the power of  our beliefs.

Did you ever notice that when people believe in you, I mean truly and deeply believe in you, you feel like you can do anything?  The same is true when you believe in yourself, and while I very much value the importance of believing in yourself, I feel like a much better version of myself when I have people in my life who believe in me, appreciate what I do for them, understand me, trust me, value who I am as a person and who I genuinely believe in in return.  I have to say, they are very few and far between, but I purposely weeded all the sucker-fish people (see previous posts) out of my life.  I now know that everyone in my life is there because they are genuine and not because there is something they can use me for before they move on or because they are victims who want to emotionally suck me dry.  All that remain in my life are people I believe in and who believe in me, and, while I am on that subject let me just say that I am so full of love and gratitude for you being there and believing in me and letting me believe in you.

The same principle applies in all areas of your life.  If you believe you can do something, you can.  If you believe you can be something, you can.  If you believe you can have something, you can.  If you believe you deserve something, you do.  The power of positive thinking is tantamount to this thought process however, so be careful of what you are thinking about because you will always draw those things into your life...positive is good...negative, not so much.




Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

PEOPLE WHO LOVE DIFFERENTLY...

I don't know who ever came up with the term, “normal,” as I am sure it was some psychotherapist way back when, but it is one of the most hateful words on the planet. This word should not even exist in such an eclectic world where no two individuals are alike. It has created a paradigm in which people try to fit in and in doing so, change who they really are inside. I find this so, so sad. Now, if you want to be who you are you have to go against this paradigm because it has been widely accepted as the standard of who you “should” (another hated word of mine) be. Most people are afraid to go against anything and will therefore live a life they were not meant to live, never being true to who they are inside...I hate fear.


We don't all love the same. I mean, we do, but we don't. We all love...that is a given and a basic instinct. In fact, it is what we strive for, to love and be loved so why then does it have to have so many rules? Why make it so difficult?


I love differently. In other words, I go against the “normal” way for a woman to love because I love the person. It matters not to me whether a person is a male or a female, it matters to me what they hold as values and how they treat themselves as well as others... if they are decent, respectful, positive, loving, caring, carefree, fun, full of life and love me in the same way as I love them.


I have to say though, that my greatest experiences have been with women and, although I don't often refer to myself as a lesbian because I hate labels and I love a person not a gender, I do have a propensity toward relationships with women. For me, they are the more comforable of the two. It feels so great for me to be able to share not only genuine human traits, but those only another woman can understand and/or appreciate in a woman.


I once saw a movie in which the heroines were lesbians and there was this line, “here is to people who love differently,” and I thought to myself, that's an odd phrase. It isn't possible to love differently, I mean love is love, loving is loving, giving love and receiving love are just that. The only reason they used a phrase like this is because of the word, “normal.” If it isn't normal for two people of the same sex to love one another, then they must love differently. To this I say, bullshit. I don't love any differently than anyone else. I may love to different degrees than other people, for I consider myself to be a very passionate person and I love from the depths of that passion, but differently? Not possible.



My point here is this: If you love someone you love them. It's beautiful. Don't label it...don't choose it based on gender...don't belittle it...don't overthink it...don't underestimate it. Do fall into it...do enjoy the hell out of it...do love with all of your heart...do find the passion...do live for it and most of all...do be true to you in your heart of hearts and depths of your soul. Leave the word “normal” out of your vocabulary, screw what others think of you for in the end the only thing that matters is what you think of yourself. No one has to live with who you are , more than you do. Short change that and you will never, ever find the real you before you leave this earth which will in turn result in a wasted journey.

***After having published this post I heard about the Supreme Court's ruling on same-sex marriage and I would just like to say...IT'S ABOUT TIME AND THANK YOU!!!  June 25, 2015 will go down in the history books as a very triumphant day***


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

LEAVE IT ALONE...

Why, when everything is going so well, do some of us feel the need to pick things apart?  You got a promotion???  Wow, that's wonderful.  Oh, you didn't get the office you wanted with the corner window and the view or as much money as you had hoped for and they didn't get you your own assistant like you thought........REALLY???  You...got...a...promotion!!! Leave...it...alone.  You what?  You got a check in the mail for $100.00 from some refund a long time ago???  That's so awesome.  Oh, they didn't send it out when it should have gone out a year ago.  Yes, but you forgot all about it and it's here now and you can use the money.  Oh, you thought it should have been more but you can't remember.  Okay, but it's here now and it's $100.00 you didn't even know was coming. Oh, well true you could have used it then, but it's here now and you can use it now!!! Be...grateful...and...leave...it...alone!!!  You're getting to go on the trip of a lifetime???  I'm so happy for you.  Oh, you couldn't save up enough money for the more expensive tour to coincide with the seasons?   Right, but you can go now. Oh, you can't go the week you wanted because you didn't book your flight in time.  But you can go now and you have the time off of work and you get to go on the trip of a lifetime. Oh, you don't think you have the right wardrobe, but you have nice clothes and you get to go on the trip of a lifetime.  You what?  Oh, thought the tour was going to be longer than a week, but you get...to...go...on...the...trip...of...a...lifetime. Leave...it...alone.  

I'm gathering by now that you can see my point. When you have good and wonderful things put into your life on a daily basis, don't try to find the but, but, but in them...find the OMG factor.  The positive aspects of them just being presented to you and for you.  After all, not everyone knows how to bring good and wonderful things into their lives, so if you are able to do it, embrace it, keep it up and be grateful.



Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

POETRY TAPESTRY...

Sometimes I write poems to free up my head and my soul...you know to kind of purge all of the feelings I am having to make room for more.  I like to write several at a time and piece them together with a theme, like a tapestry.

**LET ME SHOW YOU**

Come and take a trip with me, let me hold your hand;

Come and see my world with me, you seem to understand;

I think you really see me, like no one has before;

You see what's hidden in the dark, what's beyond the door;

People never see inside my deepest, darkest depth;

But you have broken through it all, you took away my breath;

I thank you for the privilege to see inside your soul;

You let me in and trusted me, an honor I behold;

I feel your trust within my soul, my faith in you is real;

Faith I've never known before and been afraid to feel;

Let me show you what can be, a life you've never known;

I want you to unfold your dream, together not alone;

And this was the second poem:

** US **

I feel you through the distance, I know our souls are one;
I long to hold you close to me, so much I come undone;


We need to be together, if only for a time;
To show our hearts it's meant to be and walk across the line;


I need you now so desperately that I can scarcely wait;
To be with you completely, I know it must be fate;


I want to help you know the joy of being who you are;
Trust me now to take you there, I never will be far;


I cherish each and every word and thought and dream we share;
Do you know how much I need you, just how much I care?


We have a deep connection, so deep I never knew;
That I could fall in love like this, it's all because of you;


You opened up your heart to me and then you took my hand;
You let me see the fear in you, you knew I'd understand;


I know when we're together in body, mind and soul;
That we will finally feel complete and let go of control;


We'll finally know the the unison of feeling like we're home;
When our souls can meld as one and never be alone.


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

DON'T SAY THE "RIGHT" THING...

I have a question for you...are you true to yourself or do you say the “right” thing, and by the “right” thing I mean the nice and appropriate thing to say at the time because you think the situation calls for that answer and not the answer you want to use because it would be best for you and true to what you want. An example of this would be... let's say you are one of those people at work who takes care of everything and because of this everyone feels they can approach you with all of their problems, work and personal, and you are so nice that you never say no to them. In fact, you end your sentences with something equivalent to, “...and if you need anything else, let me know...any time.” I guarantee you that you will attract a plethora of broken and negative people into your life and you will have to fight harder and harder to stay positive because at work you will be doing their jobs and in your personal life they will be calling on you to fix everything for them. They will sit back and let you run their lives so they don't have to. I call them sucker-fish people. You know the fish in the tank that suck all the algae off the sides and bottom? These people suck the good and positive things out of your life and leave you frustrated, tired and stressed. They will suck all they can out of you and move onto the next person without so much as a thought about what it did to you...don't think they won't. They want their mommies to come and run their lives so they don't have to grow up so they find people who will treat them the way mommy did. They are grown ups...let these people fend for themselves and finally grow up. You can't fix everyone and expect that if won't take a huge toll on your own life.


It seems the nicer you try to be in life, the more your tendency is to lose yourself in what others want and what is best for them. In doing so you then gradually become frustrated and jaded because you neglect what is best for you. Yes, it is good to be a good person and a good friend, but please make extra sure that you are being a good friend to people who will return what you give them so freely. In the workplace it is great to be a team player and to help others, but not beyond the point of them helping themselves. They get paid for doing their jobs, just like you, but you don't get paid for doing their jobs as well, you just get stressed and frustrated and tired. Pretty soon you look in the mirror and wonder who that is looking back at you because you barely recognize them.


I love the old adage, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” In other words, you can help these people if you really want to, but don't hold their hands and be their parent...show them how to solve things on their own and learn to say no if you don't want to take on that role. It's okay to say no and have a life of your own. So many people won't turn others down because they have a fear that if they do they will talk badly about them behind their backs and not like them. I say this...if that is the case, believe me you are so much better off without them in your life. In learning to steer these people away from you, you come closer to a positive life that is about you and your needs because, let's face it...if you don't take care of your needs...who will?


I am hopeful that this post will guide you to be true to yourself and the next time someone asks something of you that you don't want to do...just say no...or any other phrase that would bring you the results that YOU desire.




Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT...

I took this picture last Friday when I stopped at the beach to eat my lunch.  I thought I would put a post into it...short and sweet.


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

LETTER TO MY MOTHER...

Every now and then I still get the urge to call my mother.  Even though I talk to her all the time, as I know she leads my circle of angels, I still have a need to tell her things in writing, maybe as a therapeutic tool for me.  I thought this time I would publish this one as a post because if you are missing a loved one from your life, someone you were so close to that took part of your soul when they left, I think this may be good therapy for you as well.

 “Dear Mom,

It has been five years since God called you home and yet some days it feels like yesterday.  I have come to terms with the fact that I will never stop missing you but as, I assure myself that you are with me all the time, I have hope that the degree will lessen. 

When you first left I felt so very alone in the world, even though I still had people in my life, they could never be in my life like you.  There are times this feeling still will not subside. You were the biggest part of who I am.  You raised me, shaped me and guided me into the person I am today and I am so grateful to you every day that you were the loving influence in my life as dad just didn’t know how to give of himself and his love.  I miss your sage advice and how you always knew what to say whenever I would confide in you, which was all the time. 

I still have a hard time letting people get close to me, but I also know that you wanted me to not be such a loner and to learn to let go and let people in so I could one day know what it is to be loved.  I am proud to say, Mom, that because of your loving influence and the fact that I still hear you, I am finally learning to do just that.  My heart is resilient and it will bounce back if I let myself risk opening it to the wrong person.  I finally know that that is what we are supposed to do.  That my heart won’t break without the ability to mend itself with time and that if I don’t risk opening it, I will never know love.  I want to know it…I need to know it and I am happy to say I am letting it in now.  You showed me how to embrace the middle ground that dad never had and to forgive.  My greatest gifts pertaining to who I am are because of you.

You would be so proud of your grandson.  He is working and happy and making much better choices for his life.  Today is his 22^nd birthday.  I know you said the one thing you didn’t want to miss out on was how he turned out, but I also know that you have been there guiding him the whole time, as you have done with me.  He knows you are there as well.  He said he can feel you too and that he misses and loves you.

I will never be more grateful to anyone than I am to you and I miss you with every fiber of my being, every minute of every day.  I was angry when you first left, but knowing that you are my angel and in a loving place, safe and out of suffering will always bring me peace.  I could not have asked for a more beautiful soul to have been my mother.  I love you always with all of my heart.”

After having written this letter I have found so much more peace in my day.  I hope that writing to someone you have lost will help you to realize how much a part of your life they will always be, in this realm and all others, and to find joy in all of the positive things they brought into your life. 



Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well.  Happy blogging.

IF YOU LOVE ME...THEN KNOW ME...

If you love me, then know me...for who I am and what I believe in.  If you love me, then respect and accept me for all that surrounds me.  By the same token, if I love you then I respect you for who you are and what you believe in and I promise you this...

1.  I will always write I love you but I will never write “ I luv u,” because it demeans the sentiment and I know you would never do that to me either.

2.  I will Never use the word “little” to describe anything in your life that means something to you, i.e. your “little” car that you drive and the “little” house that you live in or the "little" song you just wrote, and I know you would never do that to me as well because it bugs the crap out of me as it is condescending to others.

3.  I will never call you dumb or stupid if I really just mean you're being silly,and I know you would not do that to me either because you wouldn't risk hurting my feelings.

4.  I will never repeat your words back to you verbatim because you know what you said.

Get to know the people you want in your world. Acceptance of who they are will make you closer than you ever thought possible.



Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

I AM A JUNKIE...

I am a junkie...that's right...I have an addictive personality and I am addicted to all things positive.


I was born into a family from which both sides were highly prone to addiction, especially on my father's side with alcoholism, although it was deep on my mother's as well. I so vividly remember how my father really never had a middle ground or a gray area. Things to him were either black or white, good or bad and people were either in his life or out of it. My mother was my saving grace because she was all gray area and I mean that in a good way. I always felt so bad for the rampant depression that plagued her life, but she was the one who could see the other possibilities in most situations and exercise forgiveness when people “messed up.” If not for her I would have no idea that a middle ground existed as I tended to take on most of my father's traits.


With divine help and guidance I have finally turned my negative life into a positive one, but I am not out of the woods yet. All change is hard and slow and so it should be. We take years building up all these negative ways that we live and it needs to be undone in a healthy and slow manner. I still have my tendency to addict to positive things and now that the positivity in my life outweighs the negativity, I feel like a junkie...but in a good way. I'm so happy this is happening and I now know that all the hard work I have spent years on is paying off. I see and feel it all around me. I no longer feel the need to dwell on past events and use those to base my fears on future events.


People who worry don't realize that what they worry about will eventually come true because they are giving that fear so much energy that they will actually create the very situation they are worried about. What is meant to happen...will happen and no amount of worry is ever going to alter that course. Let...it...go!!! You will NEVER have a life of happiness, joy and positive outcomes if you worry about things that may or will never, ever happen. Choose to be a positivity junkie. If you absolutely cannot quiet your mind from worry, begin by changing the verbiage of your worried thoughts, i.e., instead of the thought that says, “It's dark and I hope we don't die in a car crash because a deer jumps out of the trees and forces our car into the river,” force your head to make it positive. Try saying instead, “This is going to be a beautiful drive in the moonlight, sitting next to someone I love, feeling the cool breeze which smells like forest and river. Look how the moon glistens off of the river. I am so enjoying this moment in my life.” Now I know for some people this will be harder than hard, it was not easy for me when I first began this, but now it has become like second nature. I drive along and think, “Wow, what a beautiful day...thank you for all the wonderment and joy and awesome things I have in my life and the beautiful opportunities.” The more you put gratitude out into the universe, the more wonderful things you will receive in your life, but you first have to let go.



The first step in becoming a positivity junkie is to actively replace any and all negative thoughts and feelings with positive ones. You have to stop in your tracks when you notice them and do it then and there. The only regrets people usually have are for the unlived dreams they never tried to have due...to...fear. It's true what they say, you have nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear the unlived life. I will be the person who has had every wonderful experience she ever dreamed of and has no regrets. 


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

ASK FOR HELLLLLLP...

I cannot count the number of times during my life, beginning from very early childhood, that people have said to me, "Kimberly, ask for help."   Really?  I'm German, Irish and Taurus...my philosophy? ...If I can't do it myself it isn't possible in my world.  Now looking back on this philosophy of mine as of late, I have to say I see where it might be a bit flawed.  

I'm not sure as to the why and the particulars of it all, but asking for help is so hard for me.  My mother once told me that my first words were, "I do it!"  Wow, that just spoke volumes to me.  My poor mother, God rest her soul, put up with a lot from me as I grew, but she loved me unconditionally, which is hard to find this day and age...but I digress.  It seems to me that life would not be so hard if I were the type of person that went around asking everyone for help all the time, but I think in the back of my mind I see it as some sort of weakness...which it very much is not, don't get me wrong, but that is how I have always viewed asking for help...at least for me. Every time I get into a hard situation I try anything and everything I can possibly think of to get out and/or around it.  There are times when I feel like I'm running into a wall, over and over again with the same results.  It is only after I have metaphorically broken all my bones from banging into the wall so much, that I finally ask for help.  Then, when I receive help from someone who can actually offer the type I need, the situation becomes resolved and usually very quickly and I sit there licking my wounds and shaking my head asking myself, "Now why didn't I just do that in the first place."  You know, hind sight and all.  I also used to feel like it would put somebody out if they had to help me or felt as though they had to help me and then I would owe them for eternity because I never feel I can do enough for someone to pay them back.  These are not positive thoughts, which is the way my life is now geared.  I now know that in my positive world it is okay to ask for help and a simple thank you will usually suffice as payment in kind.  

When we don't ask for the help we need, we make life so much harder on ourselves, and let's face it, it's hard enough.  It is important to realize that we need help early on and ask for it. People don't judge us for it or look down on us for it and really, so what if they do.  That would just alert me to the fact that they are not the people to ask and then make me ask myself just why those types of people are in my life in the first place.  Time to remove those unwanted elements.  

At this stage in my life, I want easier, not harder, I want positive, not negative and I want happiness and joy in abundance, not sadness and depression.  I want new and exciting experiences and opportunities in my life.  I want all the best life has to offer and if asking for help will make any and all of that come to me faster, bigger and better, I'm in.  Ask for help...whenever and wherever you need it.  Fill your life with ease...not tension.  


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

DON'T LET IT BOTHER YOU...

The other day I went into work, said good morning to a customer who in turn, flipped me off. I'm 99 percent sure he was joking around but the old me would have taken great offense to that and would have wondered all day about what I did to have caused him to do that. What could I have done differently to have changed that situation. The new me however, replied to this man with a confident smile, “Yes, I am number one and proud of it.”


I think what people say and what we hear are sometimes two different things. It's either our perception of what they actually say or what we are hoping they actually meant by what they said, and sometimes the mood we are in. For example, I have a huge pet peeve about people saying they will call me and then not actually doing it so when people say to me, “I will call you,” I think what I will choose to hear is, “I will call you...if I can.” In this way I won't sit and dwell over why I wasn't worth the phone call and let them break my trust. Why I was forgettable enough to have not been remembered for them to call. Or why I wasn't important enough to actually follow through with that phone call. 

Why do I and others like me care so much about things and let people get to us? I think because we are genuinely nice people. We are the type of people who do what we say we are going to do...we are reliable, responsible and always trying to help other people and deep down, we hope that we will be treated the same way by the people in our world. When we aren't we feel let down and betrayed by them. We expected them to behave a certain way (expectations will let you down and disappoint you more often than not), and they didn't.


What can I do about it, you ask. Nothing, at least not in the sense that you can exercise any kind of control over other people. What you can do for yourself is to not let it bother you. In choosing to hear what people say differently, you can exercise a certain amount of control over your mind and your heart to a degree of self-preservation. You can hear the phrase, “I will call you ...if I can (or whatever pet peeve you have that really bothers you about others),” and know that people have things happen on a daily basis that may prevent them from doing what they say they will. Forgiveness is hard (especially for me because I tend to drop unreliable people from my life like a bad habit and replace them with people who will not let me down). We have to learn to trust ourselves because that is all we have control over. I can trust myself to not let this person get to me or let me down because I won't “expect” certain things from them. Especially after you know a person's shortcomings you can adjust your thinking and not let it bother you.

I have always been a ruminator...I dwell on everything. Changing this is very difficult because of my deep-seated need to know the "why"...about every situation, but the thinh to learn as a ruminator, is to not let it bother me. It is a choice. I can sit and wonder all day, or I can just say, “fuck it,” and move forward with something more productive and positive. I will no longer have people or situations in my life who do not have my best interests at heart and who I know in the long run will let me down over and over again if I let them. So when I find someone worth having in my life, I now assess who they are, what their character is, and whether or not I can trust them on a certain level. If I can, then eventually, when that trust is proven time and time again, I will move them up a level until I find the highest level on which they can be trusted and keep them there. Hopefully they never break that trust because these days people only get one strike with me and they are out. I will replace them and move on because I don't let it bother me. People who have taken the time to get to know me, I mean really know me, know who I am, what I am about and what I am willing to put up with and the more I grow and morph into who I am meant to be, I don't put up with much at all. You are either a real friend or you are not. There is no gray area there, nor should there be.



My advice to ruminators is this, learn to not let it bother you. Think forward, and live in the moment. Stay out of the past and don't let anyone make you wonder about what you did or could have done differently to make them feel better or receive a positive response to whatever encounter you had. Just don't let it bother you...and move on...better things will come along.


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

DON'T YOU HATE BEING BOSSED AROUND,..

Sometimes I wonder who came up with the concept of working for a living.  It seems to me there are much better things we could be doing with our time. And why 5 out of 7 days of the week?  Why isn't 2 or 3 days a week enough?  I have always liked the barter system and had a father who was really good at bartering with others for goods and services, although I guess technically you could say that work in exchange for money is a type of barter system, but at least with the barter system no one person is the "boss."

I do not like, nor have I ever liked the idea of one person bossing everyone else around as it promotes the illusion that one person is better and smarter than everyone else under him/her.  I don't like feeling that I have to "pimp myself out" just to eke out a living and survive.  There were jobs in the past in which I was the "boss," but I have to say, I liked that even less. There was added responsibility and added duty, which ultimately led to more stress.  

Why can't our country take a lesson from other countries who value life more than the flippin' dollar. I get that we have to live and we all like money, but I hate being bossed around.  Granted that may have a lot to do with the fact that I am English, Irish, German and Taurus (stubborn much?), but it just seems to me that there are better systems in place we could adopt which place more value on the sanctity of life and the beauty of time and love and joy and happiness, stopping to smell the roses and appreciate what we have and who we are.

Sometimes we tend to settle for living a life we don't really want in order to survive and I think if we could have the things we want out of life more often than settling for things we need in order to survive, this world would be a much happier and less stressed out place in which to live.

It is my ultimate dream to one day go off the grid, have a little cabin on the river's edge and a huge garden in which I can graze as reap and sow.  To be able to quit the 9 to 5 grind and work part time in a local setting where I can set my own hours and days, or maybe not work at all, but either way it would be MY choice, not a choice I had to make in order to put food in my mouth and a roof over my head.  Keeping this in mind I recently asked myself, what is the one thing that has kept me hanging on all these years? My answer?  The fact that I always make sure my dreams come true.  

Make your dreams come true people, live the life you want.



Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

LET IT GO...

I have written a number of posts on stress, but I wanted to help you with some management techniques and psychology on why we don’t allow good things to happen throughout our day/life. 

How many times throughout your day have you noticed the large sigh you let out, more often than not?  That sigh, my friends, is a sign that you are not getting enough oxygen, most likely due to the fact that you are breathing incorrectly which is usually due to stress.  So to get you thinking about this, let’s first get you conscious of recognizing that sigh.  The way I accomplished this was by noticing, especially if I was talking at the time (which I usually am…lol), that I had to take in more air and would then let out a deeper sigh during my sentence.  It made it easier to hear that way and then I began to notice it whenever I was sitting still at my desk, etc.   So I began to stop myself whenever I heard it, even if there were customers in front of me.  I would take a slow, deep, diaphragmatic breath through my nose and slowly blow it out through my mouth.  I would do this three times in a row.  Yes, I would get some funny looks from people, but then I would laugh and say, just killing the stress, and more often than not we would have a conversation about how great that worked.  Once I finished the three breaths, I incorporated some questions to ask myself, the first of which was, is everything positive, right here, right now, in this moment?  The second was, if so then why are you sighing?  The third was, is this situation worth getting stressed about (although ultimately no situation is)?  If I answered those questions honestly, I could adjust.  I could say, wow, I’m stressing over whether these copies got out to the correct people while there are people out there with no food or homes or limbs or jobs or loved ones, who don’t even stress as much as I do about this small, insignificant stuff.  Most times this would make me calmer and grateful, but like all change, some of us need to manage it in baby steps, I being one of those people. 

The thing we know about stress is that it kills you by slowly destroying your health and can create doubt and disability in your head and then your heart.  If we learn to listen to our souls, we know the answer, but we usually fight ourselves because our judgments of our lives get in the way.  We overthink everything because we think we have to as we have conditioned ourselves to hold onto everything and not let go. 

This is the part where I say, why do you not want to be happy.  Then you would say, I do want to be happy.  But ultimately I would have to counter with, if you truly wanted to be happy you would let yourself have the good things in your life that are put into your path, without going around them with every excuse you can think of that it isn’t right.  Trust me, it is right or it wouldn’t even be a possibility for you in the here and the now.  One of my friends, God bless her, is so used to having things come to her at a cost and has always been the one trying to help everyone else so when really good things come her way she tries every excuse in the book to make sure they don’t enter her life.  She likes that illusion of control but it turns out to be self-sabotage as she throws all of the wonderful things away because she thinks she doesn’t deserve them.  I get this, I do, it is the life I had always had as well.  But what I want to say to her and to all of you is this, if the universe (or God or whatever your belief system) says, here is this wonderful thing for you to have in your life, be it experiences or material things, you need to just say thank you.  Not but, but, but…just thank you.  You need to gratefully accept this gift that is being given to you and enjoy it for all it is worth.  Don’t let your head rule what you know in your heart you deserve. 

Life is SO short and if you turn all of these gifts away, you certainly won’t have had much of a life at all.  You would be one of those sad people who merely existed and never really lived life.  I don’t know about you, but I want to live my life to its fullest and enjoy every wonderful and positive gift I have been offered…with much gratitude.

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

PICTURE IT...

When I find myself with time on my hands (for which I am always grateful), I feel the need to explore...using my camera as my sole source of vision.  I find such fulfillment in the beauty I am led to through my lens and I love to share my "visions."

***Please do not download, transfer or otherwise use any of the pictures as they are the copyrighted property of the blog owner***


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

HEAD-REGURGITATION...

Sometimes, and just for the sake of removing it from my head, I will sit down and write everything I can think of in that moment.  I call it head-regurgitation, for lack of a better term.  I usually don't save these, however I recently came across this one that I wrote in October of 2014, which was right around the time I had just moved to Oregon and was trying to piece my life together.  I wanted to post it so that other people out there with "chatty" heads know that they are not alone and that the part of us that sometimes scares us a little and makes us think we are just plain crazy, lives within all of us.

"I have no gift of gab, but the pen, which is mightier 

than the sword, is my ally in life as well as death.  If 

only they would call to say, “I love you,” just 

because.  If only the reasons for me were the same as the 

reasons for them.  I have faith that when I’m so alone, I’m not alone...ever.  I know that people are all 

basically narcissistic but I don’t understand why.  I 

am the sum of my parts, but my parts are a mere 

vessel.  

People want to change, but fighting change is basic 

instinct. You can only change yourself... if you are 

under the impression that you can change someone 

else, then you are fucking with your own head. I am 

an old soul; the older the soul, the wiser the path.  

Crazy is as crazy does; I don’t mind being called 

insane because God made me in his image and that 

thought comforts me day after day; Some people are 

so unhappy with their own lives that they think the 

grass is greener on the other side of the fence...

newsflash...you can cross over that fence but you will still be you until you face your shit head on; be you...God made you unique for a reason; control is an 

illusion...stop trying to control other people and 

turn inward; when you point at someone else three 

fingers are pointing right back at you; my wishes will come true as long as I always ask for them to; the end is near so live it full while you still can; I love John 

Hughes movies; writing frees the soul; a job is a job 

and not a life sentence; be the best you you can be 

and stop trying to morph into other people; find the 

one person you trust to “bare” your soul to and take it all off; if you take for granted all the things you have been given thus far, then you have nothing; be strong and courageous enough to want the life you deserve; I am an enigma; why do we say one thing and do the 

complete opposite; It’s not hard...do what you say 

you will do or don’t say it at all; needy is not 

attractive on me, but we can’t help what we need when we need it; I have needs, wants, desires, wishes, dreams and 

yearnings...therefore I am merely human; to know me is to 

question sanity; to know me is something most people never try to do; to know me is my ultimate quest."

It really helps to clear your mind of chaos when it builds up like this and, as you can see, these thoughts are random, yet applicable to anything and everything you may be going through at the time.  This is such a great exercise in clarity and I hope it will help you find yours.

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.