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Tuesday, November 18, 2014



Habits can be hard to break and, let’s face it, some of them we don’t really want to break, but in the long run, if you want to grow spiritually and emotionally, there are some that will be necessary to break.

Okay, so in the past I have written a couple of posts about not gossiping and keeping your judgments to yourself, but it would appear that judging others is actually quite a bad habit that SO MANY people need to break if they are to heal and grow.  Why do so many of us feel the need to judge?  I was guilty of this habit as well, but I try now to see the good and positive things in people and, if they have traits that I feel judgmental about, I am turning that urge into saying nothing and keeping it to myself and working on why I would care about judging them either way.  I realized how pathetic I was being when I would run to, call, or relay in any manner to a friend or acquaintance, my recent judgments about a person we both knew.  So much energy is wasted with gossip and remember, what you put out into the universe will come back to you or at you, threefold.  We have to consider that some people are sad inside or negative or very insecure or have had bad things happen to them and they don’t come off well to others or appear just downright mean.  Who are we to judge them when we probably have walked in their shoes at one time or another but may have better coping skills than others in social situations.

Does it make us feel like we are better than the people we judge?  Does it give us some kind of validation while at the same time making us feel that we have invalidated the person we put down?  I’ve had people make all kinds of judgments about me, not as a person, as 99% of them had never taken the time to get to know me nor would I let them, but based on the way I look or certain things they’ve heard me say or do at work.  Better still, things other people have told them, i.e. their own judgments about me.  Wow, how shallow can we be!  People don’t seem to realize that these malicious judgments, also known as gossip, can really stunt your own personal, spiritual growth and while you are being judgmental you are just basically showing others how insecure you are. 

There are many quotes about judging other; the bible, of course says, “Judge not , lest ye be judged,” which is one of my favorites because it covers two things at once, i.e. that if you judge others, others will judge you and, what you put out there will come back at you.  There is also a quote that says, “What people say about you behind your back is none of your business.”  While I concur with that statement, the part I have a problem with is someone’s need to talk behind your back unless, of course it’s about plans you all have together or events from your day together.  If you trash someone behind their back and do it often, ask yourself this question, “Why do I keep this person in my life?”  It’s obvious that your low opinion of this person means you are not a fan, so why do you keep them around, sucking good and positive energy from your soul, leaving you stressed and drained?  Obviously we can’t help who we work with sometimes and we can’t always escape our family members, but we can have control over just how far we let them into our lives and how much we make them a part of them.  Just because you’re related to someone does not mean you have to get along or even force yourself to like them.  Just because you work with someone you don’t really care for, doesn’t mean you have to let them into your personal life or even try to like them if you don’t.  You can agree to disagree and keep business to just business and not be so insecure that you need to talk about what you feel is wrong with them to others. 

If you ever want to get the stress out of your life, it is up to your and you alone, to break this bad habit.  I guarantee you the most-loved individual in a workplace, group of friends or family, is the one about which other people will say, “I love that fact that she never has an unkind thing to say about anyone.”  That is a person who is looked up to, respected, popular and loved for being brave enough to be him or her self, and letters other be themselves, and who has grown spiritually and emotionally, exponentially. 

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