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Saturday, November 30, 2013


Why is it when people find out that you are different from "normal" people, most of them treat you like you have the plague?  I previously addressed the term "normal" is one of my earlier posts so you know I don't believe that such a condition really exists.  People are who they are and what they are made up of.  Parts of me are sane while other parts of me are termed as insane.  I view the world differently than most people I know.  I have bi-polar disorder, also known as manic/depressive disorder, major OCD, ADD, and a whole bunch of other acronyms...too numerous to mention, and to top it all off, I'm bisexual.  In most people's eyes, this makes me undesirable, as a friend, lover, life companion, or a mere acquaintance. I'm out there...I say what I mean and I mean what I say.  I have no filtering system between my brain and my mouth, most of the time and I don't care if people around me are uncomfortable because of what I say or how I say it.  I love passionately, I feel deeply, and I love to spoil people in my life who mean something to me.  I'm extremely loyal...I'm the one person who is going to be there for you when everyone and everything around you seems to be in turmoil.  I will always pick you up, dust you off and send you back out there to fight the world with me guarding your back.

Very few people have the privilege of being part of my life because they run at the first glimpse into my insanity.  Well, sorry to say it people, but if you want to be in my life you have to accept me, not only for my sane moments, but my insane moments as well.  I can count on one hand the people who have been able to do this and I thank God for them every day.  I find I get along best with people who are like me, who also have flaws and disorders and major social and emotional "abnormalities."  

My highs are extremely high and my lows extremely low, but I manage to hold down a job, keep a paycheck coming in, make my mortgage payments, pay my bills, and live the american, fucking dream.  Yeah, some dream.  What I desire in my life right now is to have close friends who I can talk to, day or night, on the phone or in person and go places and do things with.  I want that friend to need me and call me with their problems so we can work them out together, keeping me in the loop because I'm that important to them and they know I will always be there to back them, no rules, no judgments, no expectations.  It's a very lonely life without close friends.  That is not to say that I have no close friends.  I have three in California, one in France and one here in Arizona.  I love them all very much. 

I hope if any of you reading this knows someone with mental, emotional and/or social disorders, that you give them a chance and stick around long enough to find out who they are.  Otherwise, you could be throwing away the chance to get to know someone who could be the coolest person you've ever met.

Life is what you make of make it absolutely fabulous.

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